Daughter doesn't want children.

[vuscal]

This isn't me bashing anyone who doesn't want children. It's absolutely an individual choice. However, I think you'd be lying if you didn't think your child was going to have children. I always imagined I'd be a grandmother. She is our only child.

She's great and has said "she doesn't want children yet" and so I know that doesn't mean at all but she is 35 and single. Currently has lots of rescue rodents and devotes all her time to them.

I suppose I feel quite sad about this. That's normal right?

Ive been on MN for over six years. I just dont post on the parenting or conception boards.

Mittens A lot of childfree people are teachers, so this is a really useful place. And let's be honest, there are more boards on MN that discuss non-parenting things than parenting things. Some childfree people are godparents or aunties or uncles. Obvious, really, if you think about it.

She implied it. Otherwise what is the point of saying it?

You inferred it. I didnt imply it. I simply told the OP about my experience. Where did I say that the OP had no right to her feelings?

That’s true, of course. I was just curious. I was an auntie many times over, and a godparent, long before I was a mum.

Actually one thing works both ways. I almost feel I have to justify my decision to have children when child free people rant about global warming, and they have a point. (Though I did adopt of course.)

I am a granny, but I never had any desire to be one. I was pretty sure that neither of my DDs would have a child. DD2 was baby daft as a child, but now says she wants puppies and kittens and having a child would not be easy for her medically. DD1 has a child and I love her dearly, but I had thought her too selfish to be a mother and she also has medical issues that created problems with the pregnancy. She is marvellous with DGD, and as I say, I love her dearly, but I never wanted to be a granny and certainly not at 50.

I dont rant about global warming. Thats a stereotype of what childfree people do.

I don’t mean everyone does, it’s just that I hear it a lot. Sorry.

I used to wish there was a word that didn’t sound as negative as ‘childless’ to describe me, as I couldn’t identify with the word ‘childfree’. I suppose it’s better than that horrible word ‘barren’.

Mittens I literally wrote why I am defensive about it. I am not childless because nothing about me or my life is 'less' anything by not having a kid. Childless is someone who wants a kid but cannot have, or does not have one yet, so it's the opposite of me.
You can see one of the many, many threads on the subject about why there are people who don't have a kid on this website if you're interested in it.
HTH.

I never assumed I would be a grandmother. If I’m not going to be, that’s fine.

Ok, point taken. It certainly makes for very interesting discussions on this site.

Oh well, I’m about to watch a film at the cinema. Shock, horror, you can still do fun things when you’re not childfree lol. Better make the most of it, though, you do get less opportunity to go out.

I know a lot of single women that age who alternate between 'oh I think that I really just don't want children, too much trouble' and 'oh my god, I have to meet someone by the end of next week if I want to ever have children-help me!'. Maybe she has gotten used to life alone and likes it? Or maybe she is trying her best to accept the possibility that she will never have children.

I won't be a grandparent unless my child adopts when they get older as they are infertile. It doesn't bother me as it seems to be more common these days. Out of my siblings I'm the only one to have dc, the others knew from a young age they didn't want to.

My mother makes barbed comments and evenidiot colleagues have made comments without knowing that i’d give my right arm to have a child. I did say to my mother ‘I WAS NOT PLACED ON EARTH TO GIVE YOG GRANDCHILDREN AND WILL BOT DISCUSS THIS WITH YOU!’ A colleague accused me of hating children and says thingnlike ‘oh you don’t have kids so you wouldn’t know...’ alsonhad a male colleague say constantly after I turned 30 that I really needed to try on with having babies. ‘Well thank you for making assumptions about my fertility and desire for a family, you’re 28 when are you moving out of your parents home or indeed finding a girlfriend?’ I hope it does happen but I don’t want it to be the be all and end all.

from this thread you certainly feel (as much as you can via an online forum) the frustration of childfree women (be is societal expectations to have children or family).
but no matter how frustrated those voices are it doesn't take away the hurt some women feel at not becoming grandparents.
I would never recommend anyone hide or bury their hurt, i'm of the impression it is better to voice it and learn from others.
i'm happy the op voiced her pain, and I hope she finds camaraderie with other women in similar circumstances.

DP and I dont want kids. DPs mum has definitely asked about it in a pointed manner. This is despite having 8 other grandkids!

I do feel sorry for my dad to be honest. I suspect he would love grandkids. He has effectively adopted one via a woman and her daughter he met at his bus stop every day (the daughter and her husband like him so he sees them for birthdays and other social things). He also stays in contact with the grandchild of a long term partner who died.

But DP and I are not into kids and having one just to please our parents would is really bad.

My mum would probably rebel at the idea of a grandchild. She is reliving her life in a foreign country, living it up with a bar man.

The more I read this thread, I realise that I actively don't want to have grandchildren. I feel that I am pretty much done with babies/children. I don't think I have any more caring-capacity. I don't actually even understand the desire to be a grandparent

The older I get the more I am coming round to Megabus's way of thinking.