Has anyone known a man to leave his marriage for OW and it work out and to have been for the best?

[user1499590110]

Just that really. I hear that sometimes it is genuine, and some marriages don't work out, just like long term relationships - but they seem to get less bad press than when a married man has an affair and leaves.

(and im not asking for me!)

Yes, parents of a couple of my school friends. It happens. Obviously don't know exactly ins and outs but they didn't divorce since. In one case the OW left a DV relationship for her OM so slightly unusual scenario. Why are you asking then?

My father. Affair while with my mother and then continued for many years and many girlfriends who were not ow. They are now happily together and nobody mentions what they did.

I can't get past it myself.

Yep know a few couples like that

No I don't, the people I know who have had affairs were looking for something they weren't getting at home. Then when the marriage was over, times passed and things changed, they found their new relationship was pretty much the same - lacking something that made it perfect.

My ex's mum left her husband to get together with her childhood sweetheart, who left his wife. They seem to be pretty happy.

My uncle left his wife for the OW. They had many happy years together before he died. But his first marriage was dead in the water. Unhappy for many years and first wife had many affairs during the marriage (which I have heard her admit to with my own ears). They were in fact separated but living under the same roof when he started a relationship with the "OW".

So I really think it depends on the circumstances. If there are a ton of lies, then I doubt it would work long term. I don't think I could ever trust a man who had cheated on the woman he had made vows to and perhaps had dc with.

Yep, my parents. My DF left his wife to be with my DM. They were devoted and were married for 30 years till my DM died. DF has never remarried. I honestly believe some people get married to the wrong person first time around. Obviously it's a shitty situation all round, but it doesn't always follow that a man who has an affair is a serial philanderer, or that an OW is a scheming harpy.

My DF left my DM for the OW, they were married 49 years, so yes it does work sometimes.

Dsis and Dbil had an affair while both still married--very short marriages actually of under 3 years and 1 Dc involved.
They have been together now over 25 years and l don't think anyone apart from me and DH actually know this. Our DP's would have diedof shame if they had known-a divorce in our family was bad enough !!

Dsis and 1st DH were never suited and l told them that before they got married. I know nothing about BIL 1st wife apart from the fact she raised a very beautiful and grounded DD who l adore and l give the 1st wife credit for never to my knowledge badmouthing her now ExH to anyone.

Yes I know several couples who have started out as affairs and gone on to have long, devoted and happy marriages.

Yep me too, I know couples where it has worked. As a previous poster said it depends on the circumstances and sometimes people are just married to the wrong person first time. There is a difference between exit affairs, serial cheats and then someone finding love with the affair partner.

It's never black and white

Yes absolutely. I've been with DH for 9 years and we are a strong couple and are still very happy and very much in love. I called off my engagement to be with him (the wedding was 6 months away) and he left his 7 year marriage. It was love at first sight for both of us. We didn't jump in to our relationship without considering the hurt that we knew was likely to be caused, and also avoided making rash decisions - we both tried to make things work with our partners before anything serious happened between the two of us. We haven't looked back and I don't regret anything. He's the love of my life! I think we both make such an effort with each other as we know we made huge life changes to get together and really appreciate what we've got. My ex took things much better than his ex despite the fact we'd been in the previous relationships for a similar amount of years. His ex behaved liked a psychotic raving lunatic who was intent on 'destroying us' (her words). She's vile and I actually have no sympathy for her.

nearlychristmas - was it not hard to wait it out with the now ex partners? in terms of all the drama and the upset?

Nearly Christmas I wish you would post more often. Some of the OW comments on here (relationships) are vile and the misogyny from some women leave me speechless.

I know 2 cases of the man leaving for the OW and both went on to have marriages with the OW that were long and happy. What wasn't succesful though was the subsequent relationships with the children from the first marriage and for 2 of the 5 children involved it was very damaging to their own lives.

My dad and 'the other woman' have Been together very happily since 1990.
I love them both dearly.

Yes. I've known several couples where this has happened and they are still happy. DH and I are one of those couples.

Equally I have known several couples where it hasn't worked out. (And I know of even more couples where the cheater was forgiven - often more than once!)

Life is not black and white. So many shades of grey. I prefer to save my judgement on these types of situations. No one really knows what has gone on behind closed doors in a relationship when affairs have happened.

Yes, it seems to nearly always work out

Yes.

My lovely neighbours are an elderly couple, devoted to each other and very happy. You'd never guess that they were both married to other people with young children when they had an affair and ran off with each other many years ago.

DH and I are friends with a married couple who got together when they were both with other people. It's quite well known amongst our circles that there was an overlap with his previous relationship. But his ex was EA (not just something he said - there were witnesses to it). She was so awful to him and I don't blame him finding love with someone else. He is now married to the OW who is really nice and they seem really happy together. His ex has also remarried and it turns out she had an overlap as well.

My XH. He left me for the OW and he behaved very badly at the time. They seem very happy together and are getting married in a couple of weeks.

Yes, my aunt and her parter. 18 years later and they are still together and seem very happy, with kids etc.

I know a couple where the woman broke off her engagement to be with her now husband. Her original wedding was a few months away and completely planned. She's now very happily married with children to the man she 'ran off' with.

Yes my grandparents, my grandad left his wife and my nan her fiancé a few weeks after they met, love at first sight they said. They were married for over 60 years and had a long happy life together.