@user1499590110 Yes it was hard during the wait. It should have been our 'honeymoon' period in those first few years, but instead we waited with bated breath to see whether things would work out for us. I left my ex first. We had no children, and although engaged, were unmarried. My DH on the other hand, had 3 children and had been married 7 years. I told him numerous times to try his best to make it work with her - I think he would have left before then, and in hindsight, it probably would have been better if he had. Staying, I think, made things worse as it just meant his relationship with his ex grew incredibly strained and the resulting split was very, very bitter. If we'd just 'came out' I think it might have been better. Whilst we waited it out, our emotions were still very much there and we were basically desperate to be together.
@jeaux90 I know how awful some of the comments can be. I actually changed my mumsnet name for the first time ever just for this post, but have posted a few times before.
@bluit to some extent I agree, but that's usually more to do with other people's reactions and feelings, rather than the couple involved.
@Rubies12345 ha! That thought has also crossed my mind. Had my DHs ex watched the programme way back then, no doubt it would have inspired her behaviour. My hubby's psycho ex resorted to more sinister behaviours involving the then children. She also tried to demonise my husband, tried to get us sacked from our jobs, and turn everyone who had known them both mutually, against him and me particularly. Her behaviour also resulted in the death of a family member about 5 years into our relationship (although she would never accept any responsibility, It was her petty insinuations that led to a wider chain of events) It's the stuff with the children I can't forgive most. She's a headteacher, isn't stupid but really, seriously crossed the line in order to use the children as weapons and stop the youngest particularly having a relationship with me, whilst damaging the one with her dad. She was/is obsessed about knowing everything about us and we had to get the police involved to stop her from continually contacting us. She has had a few partners since, including one for about 2-3 years, but still can't get over the fact we are together and happy. (Gosh this makes it sound very Jeremy Kyle.ha!)
Like I said, after all of these years we are still very much in love, are aware of what we - and others who were hurt- have been through to be together so try to make the most of it. Love each other to bits!