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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Why is dh being miserable cos i go to Ministry of Sound at weekends?

118 replies

blahblahwhatsupnow · 07/04/2007 12:11

Hi
i love clubbing, its my whole life and i want to be a dj - i have decks and am always practising. Dp gives me no support and says being a dj isnt a proper job and i would rather go out than stay in with ds and dd. i do go out every sat and thur night and dont get in til around 4 but then i do get up at 8 so its not like i sleep all day.
Dp says he is happy to look after the kids while im out, and he goes out Mons, weds and sat nights so not like he doesnt get to go out and get pissed too.
So why the hell is he so miserable with me? i very rarely take pills and when i do, i stay at a mate's so the ds and dd dont see me.
He is pissing me off with his attitude.

OP posts:
Ifonlyhewould · 07/04/2007 12:14

Gosh! This makes a change. the boot is on the other foot for once a bloke p*** off at his DP being out all the time!

Original poster
blahblahwhatsupnow · 07/04/2007 12:15

i only go out twice a week!

OP posts:
mmelody · 07/04/2007 13:11

How about going out together once a week/fortnight? It sounds like you are both spending lots of time alone away from home at night. My ex used to go clubbing a lot and was often pretty useless the next day which used to drive me nuts with a lo to run around after. Perhaps he just wants to spend some family time with you ???

princessmelTingChoccyEggs · 07/04/2007 13:19

When are you ever in together? Tuesdays ,friday and sundays?

And I think you are very irresponsible taking any pills no matter how rarely.

Original poster
blahblahwhatsupnow · 07/04/2007 13:41

Well i didnt ask anyone if they think its irresponsible!! i hardly ever do it!! so its ok to get drunk though?

OP posts:
Psycho · 07/04/2007 13:44

I'm a bit parents live like this.

I'm so sheltered.

How do you have the energy apart from anything else??

ChocolateSucksWithoutSugar · 07/04/2007 13:44

tripp trapp anyone?

PinkTulips · 07/04/2007 13:45

what a sad relationship to have

fireflyfairy2 · 07/04/2007 13:46

You have to be kidding.. my dh would be seriously pissed off at me, as I would him!!

My god, when do you two get any couple time??

If this is for real that is

Snaf · 07/04/2007 13:46

Me too, psycho - am feeling very old

fireflyfairy2 · 07/04/2007 13:46

mwah!! xx

Carmenere · 07/04/2007 13:47

Isn't the MOS considered to be crap though by people who are seriously into their music?

zippitippitoes · 07/04/2007 13:48

doesn't sound like family life

stop the pills and alcohol and see how much better both of you feel

PinkTulips · 07/04/2007 13:49

hello darling, how've you been?

am avoiding my email again as the crazy lotto syndacite dude keeps filling it up with nasty emails!

Original poster
blahblahwhatsupnow · 07/04/2007 13:49

How is it a sad relationship?? we both dote on our dd and ds, why the hell shouldnt i go out/try to improve my career?? because i have children does that mean i have to stay in every single night??
i look after them very well and all i want is us all to be happy and to be a successful dj..i cant do this without dp's support.
i have lots of energy, i am only 23 so hardly collecting my pension just yet. The kids get all my attention during the day and they never go without.

OP posts:
Snaf · 07/04/2007 13:49

My honest opinion is that I reckon both of you could probably do with spending more time together at home with the kids, then maybe you might not feel so resentful of each other.

But I'm an old fart who has to be in bed by 10pm with a cup of camomile these days, so perhaps I'm just out of touch...

lucy5 · 07/04/2007 13:50

I think trip trap too. Sounds a bit teenage!

princessmelTingChoccyEggs · 07/04/2007 13:51

No, not if its most nights of the week when you have to look after your children the next day and you're hungover.

I stand by what I said.

Original poster
blahblahwhatsupnow · 07/04/2007 13:51

23 isnt teenage but i did have my ds at 18 so there you go!

OP posts:
allieBongo · 07/04/2007 13:51

it used to be good when i was a whipper snapper. now quite commercial and cheesey on certain nights, and the difference between taking pills and drinking is i know there is no rat poison in my shandy, and I know the long term effects of drinking to much, whereas this isn't fully know for ecstasy, oh and it's illegal. Taking drugs when you have children to look after is very irresponsible

zippitippitoes · 07/04/2007 13:52

do you work?

is anybody at all inclined to give you a go as a dj? or is it a fantasy?

PinkTulips · 07/04/2007 13:52

going out doing pills has nothing to do with a 'career'. i know, i've lived that live and it is the exact opposite.

working on you dj skills would involve being home with your decks, not being out clubbing.

and it's a sad relationship as you and dp clearly don't spend much time together, you go out without the otherpretending to be single

allieBongo · 07/04/2007 13:54

my dh has been djing for 17 years and pills have nothing to do with it. It's hard work, often playing out for free to get your name about and knowing the right people. Unfortunatley it very rarely comes down to talent

zippitippitoes · 07/04/2007 13:54

staying in a hotel and working in one are two quite different things

singingmum · 07/04/2007 13:55

have never been drunk and never done pill popping.Why would you treat yourself like this?
As you have kids have you ever thought how you are going to tell them not to screw with these things and be responsible when you can't?
You and you're dp need to talk and stop avoiding each other as it seems thats what you are doing if out all the time.
I was 17 when my son was born and would never have done that stuff.When you have dc's you have to grow up.Going out once in a while is fine but this sounds a bit much