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Original poster

Why is dh being miserable cos i go to Ministry of Sound at weekends?

118 replies

blahblahwhatsupnow · 07/04/2007 12:11

Hi
i love clubbing, its my whole life and i want to be a dj - i have decks and am always practising. Dp gives me no support and says being a dj isnt a proper job and i would rather go out than stay in with ds and dd. i do go out every sat and thur night and dont get in til around 4 but then i do get up at 8 so its not like i sleep all day.
Dp says he is happy to look after the kids while im out, and he goes out Mons, weds and sat nights so not like he doesnt get to go out and get pissed too.
So why the hell is he so miserable with me? i very rarely take pills and when i do, i stay at a mate's so the ds and dd dont see me.
He is pissing me off with his attitude.

OP posts:
fireflyfairy2 · 07/04/2007 14:06

Can I ask, by going to the club most nights, in what way will this make you a good dj??

Have you actually played a gig yet? did a set?

[Maybe that lingo is all wrong, I am over the hill now at 29...]

Ifonlyhewould · 07/04/2007 14:06

I'm a happy 'dd is my life, stay in every night' mum! Not sad at my dd being my life at all each to their own me thinks!!

princessmelTingChoccyEggs · 07/04/2007 14:07

snaf!!!

noddyholder · 07/04/2007 14:07

you should have finished with drugs before you had kids.People who stay at home and look after their kids and don't risk their lives with pills aren't sad they are responsible.It is sad to keep taking pills when you could become a statistic and leave your children without a mum.Also I know several djs a few very succesful and being a mum and a succesful dj are unlikely to mix

singingmum · 07/04/2007 14:07

Well said wurly.
E's aren't safe no matter what.Did you miss that lesson at school blahblah?

fireflyfairy2 · 07/04/2007 14:08

You hate being called someones wife.. do you hate being classed as a mummy too?? 'cos it seems to me you are crying out for the single life!!

Are you & dh faithful to eachother?

Do you ever go out as a couple? Or do different things, such as go to see a film? Go for a walk?? Or are those things for "sad" people to do?

Glassofwine · 07/04/2007 14:09

Some of you posters are being unrealistic, didn't you see that recent list of drugs and how dangerous they were? Wasn't lsd way lower than alcohol for example?

A lot of 23 year olds are out clubbing and having the odd pill - this is the real world. I know you are all going to site lots of 23 year olds tucked up at night with their slippers, but it's not for everyone. There is no reason why someone who enjoys clubbing can't be a great Mum in a happy relationship.

The crux of what this poster is saying is why is her dp unhappy for her to go out and yet it's ok for him. If she said she was going to the Bingo would that be more acceptable.

By the way, I haven't been to a club for years, but I'm much older then the Blah and would feel like oldest swinger in town. I'd still like to though.

lulumama · 07/04/2007 14:09

great you have a goal and an ambition

but maybe, rather than lots of clubbing, and the occasional ( doesn;t matter if it is once every 10 years or one every day, you might end up with the dodgy E) pill, write a plan, a timetable of how you are going to get to where you want to be...if you want to be a DJ so bad, you can make it happen, but not if clubbing is your whole life, IMHO

PinkTulips · 07/04/2007 14:10

feel sorry for these kids... are they old enough to be aware that mommy prefers clubbing and doing grugs to being part of a family?

zippitippitoes · 07/04/2007 14:10

you are somewhat immature

having children isn't necessarily an old and sad activity..you can still be cool if that is very important to you but pretending to be something which you aren't is a recipe for misery

fireflyfairy2 · 07/04/2007 14:10

Not that many nights a week, no, IMHO!

Nobody needs to be out living it up [or playing bingo] to 4am when they have young children at home...male or female parents!!

Spidermama · 07/04/2007 14:11

Good post glassofwine.

fireflyfairy2 · 07/04/2007 14:11

Ooh PT..what are grugs, something only available in Galway?

lucy5 · 07/04/2007 14:12

On a more helpful note, my cousin is a well respected dj and producer. He went to college to learn his trade alongside mixing etc at home. have you thought about doing some sort of course?

PinkTulips · 07/04/2007 14:12

local speciality

ds is kicking the keyboard while he feeds, lol

wurlywurly · 07/04/2007 14:12

why did you get married if you dont like being called someones wife??? I can honestly say I would rather have my life then yours.

Snaf · 07/04/2007 14:14

The last time I went into a club the 'over-30' alarm went off

Ifonlyhewould · 07/04/2007 14:15

Maybe it's the not getting in until 4 or 5am that p*** of DH. Blah says he gets to go out but maybe he gets home a bit earlier than she does. Maybe DH gets upsets because he worries about his DW.

Glassofwine · 07/04/2007 14:15

I can't believe how judgemental some of you are being - saying you'd rather your life than there's .

If you don't understand a different lifestyle is it realy the best thing to do to attack?

allieBongo · 07/04/2007 14:16

I'm over 30 and i'm down with the kids {grin} Most big dj's are over 35. My dh runs a music website which gets over 30,000 hits some weekends and he's a "boring" husband with 2 kids that runs it from our spare room. There is more to life than clubs

Ifonlyhewould · 07/04/2007 14:17

Prefer a nice milky coffee and a good book myself

fireflyfairy2 · 07/04/2007 14:17

Maybe ifonlyhewould is right blah?

Do you think dh wouldn't mind as much if it was only for a couple oh hours?

I am out 3 nights a week lately, but they are for 2 hours at the most, to meetings & a class.. perhaps he is worried when you don't roll in until 4am and he may be afraid that you will fall asleep when you have the kids the next day??

singingmum · 07/04/2007 14:17

No one said mums shouldn't go clubbing,but there has to be some rules when a parent.When you have dc's you have to grow up.
It sounds to me like blahblah is regretting having kids before career etc.I've met a few parents who feel this way,it's sad.(please no 'I didn't understand I could get pg'comments please we we all knew what we were doing)
Also he should not be out all the time either But does he stay out till morning or take pills etc.?

ChocolateSucksWithoutSugar · 07/04/2007 14:19

Glassofwine - I don't think that is the crux of the post!

The OP says that her dp is happy to look after the kids whilst she is out. His problem appears to be the fact that blahblah is totally neglecting him and the children, as she works during the day, goes out at night, is on her decks 'all the time', and says that clubbing is her 'whole life'.

In fact blahblah - why do you even care that your dh/dp/oh/some bloke you once said 'I do' to minds, since you are never in each other's company for him to nag you about it anyway?

Glassofwine · 07/04/2007 14:25

I just think that people are assuming that her 'poor children' are 'neglected' because of what she has chosen to be interested in. She said she had a part-time job, goes out two nights a week - is up to be with the children the next day, doesn't drink much and that she practises on her decks.

If she was, like a lot of mums, preparing for a new career/interest for when her children get older, you'd all be praising her. If she said scrapbooking was her life and she spent ages making home made cards - you'd all think that was ok.