Why is dh being miserable cos i go to Ministry of Sound at weekends?

[blahblahwhatsupnow]

Hi
i love clubbing, its my whole life and i want to be a dj - i have decks and am always practising. Dp gives me no support and says being a dj isnt a proper job and i would rather go out than stay in with ds and dd. i do go out every sat and thur night and dont get in til around 4 but then i do get up at 8 so its not like i sleep all day.
Dp says he is happy to look after the kids while im out, and he goes out Mons, weds and sat nights so not like he doesnt get to go out and get pissed too.
So why the hell is he so miserable with me? i very rarely take pills and when i do, i stay at a mate's so the ds and dd dont see me.
He is pissing me off with his attitude.

well drop as in give up..

IMHO give up the pills if you want to be a successful dj. The clubbers may partake but the professional dj's do not!

How come you and your dh need to be out 5 nights a week? I go out either with dh or with friends and he does the same but its about twice a month, you must be doing well for yourself just to afford it.

And there is a whole lot of difference to getting drunk and taking pills however you look at it.

who said anything about professional dj's lol. the dj's i know are well known to partake after their sets.

"And there is a whole lot of difference to getting drunk and taking pills however you look at it"

Yes - pills are much less bad for you. AND SHE DOES THEM ONCE A YEAR. Have some people here got - ah - reading difficulties?

I'm 23 and REALLY miss going clubbing or even just to bars with my mates. The local pub gets a bit boring after a while & could just do with going out & dancing to some cool music! I couldn't imagine never going out again either, which is probably going to be unfortunate for DD when she starts going out in 10 yrs or so!

Can't you combine some of your nights out with your OH & then maybe you can enjoy them together. If you're going out alternate nights you can't be seeing each other much.

pills are not necessarily less bad for you..you are confusing a statistical analysis with individual outcomes and expense to the government..so that report looked at harm in a social and community sense

anyway the op has only taken "a pill" twice so i agree irrelevant

however she gets pissed every week

im 21 with a 7m dd and have been out once in the evening since she was born for about an hour.am i therefore a saddo because im content being like this?you say clubbing is your "whole life" and "i just dont want to be one of those sad mums who sit at home and have no other interests other than their children.
im on my decks all the time and getting better and i will get somewhere before im 25."
sorry love but you shouldnt have had kids if you feel like that.whether you take pills or not is besides the point here i think.

btw its very very hard to get into the club scene.

if the op was my dd and her partner I would be interfering

So wait a minute - she shouldn't have had kids, Wakeywakey?

Er, why?

well if clubbing is her "whole life" and it is obv "sad" when mums think their children should be at the centre of their lives then i think it is selfish and there are so many people out there who would give anything to have a child.she says she barely drinks so why write "so not like he doesnt get to go out and get pissed too." pissed TOO? think someone is telling porkies

"you are confusing a statistical analysis with individual outcomes and expense to the government..so that report looked at harm in a social and community sense"

No, it looked at harm in terms of both harm to the individual and harm to the community.

this isnt about whether or not she should eb a mum.

but because alcohol is more harmful it doesn't mean that drugs are not harmful

and the op drinks too much anyway

i agree with blondilocks, why can't you get a babysitter one night and go out together? You could always go out one other night each and have 4 nights in together.

I think your DP might be annoyed because you appear to be prioritising other things. Your family should come first. I stay at home most evenings but am perfectly happy, about once a week I go out- meal with friends, cinema, rock climbing, occasionally clubbing. What's wrong with doing things like that? It doesn't make you sad just cos you don't go clubbing twice a week.

The main issue I see here is that you hardly spend any time with your dh. You're both out quite a lot, but not together, so that's probably the reason why he's pissed off.

Good on you for having an ambition and doing what you need to in order to achieve that. It doesn't make you a bad mum. You can be a great mum and a great dj.

But if you want your relationship to last I'd seriously look at ways of spending more time with your dh. Go clubbing together and get a babysitter if needs be.

As well as a mum and an aspiring dj, don't forget that you have a partner too.

Good luck with the dj'ing.

He may also feel that he's not at all involved in your dj-ing, clubbing side of your life. My ex-OH was terribly jealous when I went out because there is sooo much opportunity to meet other men but was fine when he realised that no matter how often I went out it didn't change the fact that I only wanted him.

Blahblah... Personally I think the real issue here is that you and your man never spend any time together. You both seem to be living as single parents, spending all your time working or looking after the children and then going out.

You say you'd be miserable if you stayed in every night...why do you think that is? Is it due to your man? Wanting to get away from the children for some "me time"? It's not good for your relationship if you and he never spend any time together.

He needs to spend more time at home, so you can both go out together. I bet it will work wonders.