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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Why is dh being miserable cos i go to Ministry of Sound at weekends?

118 replies

blahblahwhatsupnow · 07/04/2007 12:11

Hi
i love clubbing, its my whole life and i want to be a dj - i have decks and am always practising. Dp gives me no support and says being a dj isnt a proper job and i would rather go out than stay in with ds and dd. i do go out every sat and thur night and dont get in til around 4 but then i do get up at 8 so its not like i sleep all day.
Dp says he is happy to look after the kids while im out, and he goes out Mons, weds and sat nights so not like he doesnt get to go out and get pissed too.
So why the hell is he so miserable with me? i very rarely take pills and when i do, i stay at a mate's so the ds and dd dont see me.
He is pissing me off with his attitude.

OP posts:

Carmenere · 07/04/2007 13:55

Blah you must achieve a balance in your life. Don't take any more pills, you have dc's and they need you and pills can be dangerous, fine if you have no dependents but you do now.

Talk to your dh and ask him what he considers to be reasonable. you need to discuss these things with him.

Original poster

blahblahwhatsupnow · 07/04/2007 13:55

Who said anything about pretending to be single! i dont pull when i go out, i just love the music. And as for the pill taking, when i say i do it occasionally, i mean once every couple of years!! plus i barely drink so no risk of hangover.
if i didnt go out i would be so miserable. And yes i do work part time during the day.

OP posts:

Snaf · 07/04/2007 13:56

Why?

PinkTulips · 07/04/2007 13:56

zippi..... perfectly phrased what i was trying to say

Original poster

blahblahwhatsupnow · 07/04/2007 13:58

because staying in every night drives me nuts, its ok some nights but not every night. one of my friends hasnt been out for 2 months and i cant imagine it!

OP posts:

allieBongo · 07/04/2007 13:58

can you not look for like minded people on myspace etc and learn about music you like that way??

fireflyfairy2 · 07/04/2007 13:58

How come the rest of us aren't out clubbing & tarting our arses round night clubs high on e-tabs, yet we are perfectly happy... & not miserable.

Sound to me like you'd need to get your priorities in order lady!

ChocolateSucksWithoutSugar · 07/04/2007 14:00

Ooh - not been out for a whole two months - wow.

Original poster

blahblahwhatsupnow · 07/04/2007 14:00

JESUS!! I HARDLY EVER TAKE THEM!! i just dont want to be one of those sad mums who sit at home and have no other interests other than their children.
im on my decks all the time and getting better and i will get somewhere before im 25.

OP posts:

zippitippitoes · 07/04/2007 14:00

staying in is a drawbcak (for some people) of having kids

I expect your dp isn't happy at you going out because he is jealous and wonders why you are always miserable at home with him

but it rubs both ways why are you both only living for your own nights out without each other? are the children forcing you together

PinkTulips · 07/04/2007 14:01

am 23 and haven't been clubbing since december 2005. i'm not miserable as i give all my energy to my children during the day and enjoy being able to relax at night

ChocolateSucksWithoutSugar · 07/04/2007 14:01

Ah, a nice bit of blasphemy - bound to win the baying mob over.

fireflyfairy2 · 07/04/2007 14:02

Jesus.... you need your eyes opened.

Are you actually a good dj?

Seems to me if you were that good then you wouldn't have half this clubbing to do.

PinkTulips · 07/04/2007 14:02

on holy weekend too

Snaf · 07/04/2007 14:02

Hehe. Welcome to my world.

Just because you're a mother certainly shouldn't mean you never go out or pursue your interests but equally your OP does say clubbing is your 'whole life' and you're 'always practising'. If this is the case then I'd suggest the balance isn't quite right. You need to sit down with dp and talk and come to a compromise, imo.

PinkTulips · 07/04/2007 14:03

MOS being her fav club would suggest she's really not firefly

fireflyfairy2 · 07/04/2007 14:03

princessmelTingChoccyEggs · 07/04/2007 14:04

Can I ask is it your husband or partner that is unsupportive? In your title it said dh and in your op dp?
Just wondering as trolls sometimes make mistakes like that.

singingmum · 07/04/2007 14:04

The chances of getting a job djing by partying is not exactly high from what I have heard.
I stay at home a lot and I have plenty of interests outside of my dc's.I write stories,poetry,and I love music all kinds.
I garden as a hobby and I like painting(although am not very good).
Also you said every couple of years yo take drugs.You're 23 FFS.

PinkTulips · 07/04/2007 14:04

she's a good catholic girl really

lucy5 · 07/04/2007 14:04

I think you are probably asking this question on the wrong site as most of us are sad mums as you put it.

wurlywurly · 07/04/2007 14:05

just think, it would be dp looking after those poor children if/when you go out and pop something dodgy (no matter how rarely you do it). Just imagine being a fly on the wall to that conversation. "really sorry kids, mummy wont be coming home anymore as she popped a dodgy E"

Harsh but true.

Original poster

blahblahwhatsupnow · 07/04/2007 14:05

we are married but i hate being called somebody's wife so i do say partner to most people.
didnt mean to cause offence to anyone

OP posts:

Snaf · 07/04/2007 14:05

I heard the MoS has started holding tea-dances in the afternoons. Perhaps you could offer your services for that instead? You'd be home by 6pm.

zippitippitoes · 07/04/2007 14:05

if you keep going to the same club then that is not getting you far if you haven't had any actual experience yet

have you thought about how to make a break and broaden yoour interests?

is there anything that makes you a dj rather than a punter

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