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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My partner is going to get us evicted because of dog mess in the garden

133 replies

SomeRandomGuy · 22/09/2017 14:13

Hey all,

Long story short been with my partner 9 years. 5 years ago we were approached and asked if we wanted to rescue to staffies. I'm not a dog person, never have been, but my partner fell in love with them. So, I agreed to introduce dogs into our family provided the dogs care was down to her.

She agreed.

Fast forward 1 year later and our garden is full of dog poop. Every time I asked her to clean it she would complain her back hurts, or she's had a busy day. She doesn't work, and about all she does is walk down the road to get food and take the kid to school which is around the corner. She sometimes washes up and cleans the house but most times she's watching Jeremy Kyle or sleeping.

She wasn't always like this. But the past 2 years she has been.

We got evicted form our private rented place because of the dog mess. Neighbors complained to our landlord and the landlord warned us to clean the dog mess. My partner done nothing about it.

We got a new property and I begged her to keep ontop of the dog mess. She said she would. But this didn't happen. Been here 2 years and she has cleaned the garden twice.

We had rats living in our entry because of the poop and next door have rats too because of the mess in our garden. Today the rat man from the council came to install rat traps in her garden and took photos of our garden.

I urged my partner to sort the garden out but it's just exploded in arguments. It's my fault apparently for not helping her around the house. The arguments are silly.

But, we're now about to be evicted if this isn't sorted. She's still sat downstairs watching TV not even interested.

We have a 10 year old, and he's got to go through all this.

I called the council myself and explained that I don't want to be evicted and that the problem is my partner doesn't want to clean up her dogs mess.

Some might say why don't I clean the mess. I'm not a dog person. I puke even going near poop. Call me a whimp, but that's one of the reasons why I refuse to have dogs. The agreement was I'd be happy with them in our family so long as she keeps ontop of them.

They sit in their crate all day. One limps because they rarely go for walks. I begged her to give them to someone who can look after them but once again another argument.

Please , any advice? I can't even speak to her about this calmly without her kicking off and blaming me in some way.

OP posts:
SparklyMagpie · 22/09/2017 15:51

If this is real, i'll come take the dogs and clear up the dog shit myself

Adora10 · 22/09/2017 16:03

For those absolving the OP of any responsibility, I think his duty as a father to his son means it's also his responsibility to ensure his son grows up in a clean and disease free environment - what decent parent would sit for two years and allow their own child to live with two years worth of dog shot being tread in and out from the garden; as I said up thread, neighbours from hell and yes OP, you are indeed responsible for the welfare of your ten year old child, why you are allowing a skank of a woman like that to dictate what your living conditions are is beyond me.

SoPassRemarkable · 22/09/2017 16:13

What a big pile of (dog) shit.

Footle · 22/09/2017 16:20

I think OP is a woman. Not that it makes any difference.

ChocolateWombat · 22/09/2017 16:26

If this is real, relationship red flags all over the place here.

And never mind the dog neglect, this child is also living in conditions which SS would want to know about - 2 years worth of shit is a significant health hazard to anyone in that house and allowing a child to be growing up with it isn't acceptable.

I do wonder if this is real. If it is, I hope there is significant exaggeration going on. I hope the OP starts to think carefully about the child first of all, then the dogs and then this whole relationship. Outside help and intervention seems like it is needed - from SS, an animal charity and possibly other agencies too.

ljny · 22/09/2017 16:35

This makes no sense. Is the child yours biologically? How can you just walk away from that poor boy and those neglected animals?

And why did it take a second eviction notice for you to act? This is not about your partner. Your personal rows are irrelevant. How could you put up with this (literal) shit for so long?

WhollyFather · 22/09/2017 16:37

Leave her and make sure you get custody of the DC, she is clearly an unfit mother. If she tries to dump the dogs on you, get them put down.

FuckingBUTTERbeans · 22/09/2017 16:39

If this is real, i'll come take the dogs and clear up the dog shit myself

The Jeremy Kyle reference raised my suspicions...

Huskylover1 · 22/09/2017 16:39

I regularly have around 6 dogs in my home, and there is never any poo sitting in the garden, for more than five minutes. Dogs are let out first thing in the morning. I get out there and bag up any deposits. Then sloosh down the garden, with hot soapy water. Other poos will happen on their morning and evening walks. Maybe some more in the garden later on, so that's all cleaned up before bed. It takes minutes! Even with a whole bunch of dogs.

In your circs, you are going to have to man up and get out there. Rubber gloves, big carrier bag, face mask if you really need it. It won't take you longer than a couple of hours.

That gets the Council off your back. Which is paramount, at this point.

RSPCA will hopefully re-home the dogs.

Take a photo of the garden before you clean it (to add weight to the RSPCA's case)

Notears · 22/09/2017 17:40

I don't see how you could live there tbh with the shit accumulating daily. You obviously can't use your garden or open your windows all summer. Even your house must stink. You and your child must have the smell clinging to your hair and your clothes. How can you see the dogs confined to a crate day after day and limping because they dont get a walk? It's pure neglect.

BackieJerkhart · 22/09/2017 17:45

What the hell is wrong with people?? Never mind the dog, which is bad enough, but You let your child live with this for at least 2 years?? What is wrong with you??

Labbiemum16 · 22/09/2017 17:51

Animal abuse is never ok whatever the situation, there are two adults involved here. How would you feel if you had to go to the toilet surrounded by poop? Not allowed out of a cage all day, if you have any conscience you will call the RSPCA or a local rescue to get them a home they deserve.

You are as bad as your partner, passing the blame whilst other innocents suffer. Act now those poor dogs are suffering.

DeleteOrDecay · 22/09/2017 17:52

What happened 2 years ago that caused her to change? People don't just become lazy over night. There must be something.

If she won't clean it then clean it up yourself, for the sake of the child more than anything. And then call RSPCA and look into rehoming the dogs. Neither you nor your partner are in the position to look after them properly at the moment and it's not fair on them.

After that you need to decide what you want to do in terms of your relationship.

scoobydoo1971 · 22/09/2017 17:58

I would call Jeremy Kyle...I am quite sure he will come around and pick up the dog poo personally and bring a lie detector machine with him to find out the 'truth' of the matter...something smells bad about the OP account of their life...but it may just be wafting in from the garden...

QueenBeex · 22/09/2017 18:04
Hmm
NightmareMonkey · 22/09/2017 18:15

Have you cleaned the shite up yet? If not, get to it you lazy, whinging clart. Your lazy ass lump ho of a parynet clearly isnt going to bother when she is content to have the poor living dogs suffer.

Why not get the shite in a bag & dump it on her? It's all she deserves.

NightmareMonkey · 22/09/2017 18:15

Have you cleaned the shite up yet? If not, get to it you lazy, whinging clart. Your lazy ass lump ho of a parynet clearly isnt going to bother when she is content to have the poor living dogs suffer.

Why not get the shite in a bag & dump it on her? It's all she deserves.

demirose87 · 22/09/2017 18:15

The dogs are just as much your responsibility as your partner's OP. Either you sort it out yourself or leave if you want change.

Kittykat93 · 22/09/2017 18:19

I'm actually in complete disgust reading your OP. I have two dogs (also staffies) and after one day the garden needs cleaning. The thought of going a whole YEAR without is just mind boggling Confused

For the love of all that is holy, rehome the dogs and don't EVER think of keeping animals again.

Poor dogs, and poor child!

Miserylovescompany2 · 22/09/2017 18:23

Maybe the OP's mother has come bearing gifts of Marigolds? plus an extention cable so as not to miss any JK

maybe OP has a nose peg for extra nasal protection

wizzywig · 22/09/2017 18:26

This sounds like Hoarders

randomer · 22/09/2017 18:33

Why do people make up rubbish like this

Ps4widow · 22/09/2017 18:40

Hmm

Isetan · 22/09/2017 18:47

Essentially you've stood by while your partner has neglected dogs in your home. Everyone in a relationship has a role to play in its dynamic and yours appears to have been helpless bystander.

I'm hoping that after the RSPCA's intervention that you won't go back to handwringing as your only response to the issues in your relationship.

randomer · 22/09/2017 18:51

Do they lie awake at night and thinkah yes crated neglected dogs. That will reel them in