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Original poster

My partner is going to get us evicted because of dog mess in the garden

133 replies

SomeRandomGuy · 22/09/2017 14:13

Hey all,

Long story short been with my partner 9 years. 5 years ago we were approached and asked if we wanted to rescue to staffies. I'm not a dog person, never have been, but my partner fell in love with them. So, I agreed to introduce dogs into our family provided the dogs care was down to her.

She agreed.

Fast forward 1 year later and our garden is full of dog poop. Every time I asked her to clean it she would complain her back hurts, or she's had a busy day. She doesn't work, and about all she does is walk down the road to get food and take the kid to school which is around the corner. She sometimes washes up and cleans the house but most times she's watching Jeremy Kyle or sleeping.

She wasn't always like this. But the past 2 years she has been.

We got evicted form our private rented place because of the dog mess. Neighbors complained to our landlord and the landlord warned us to clean the dog mess. My partner done nothing about it.

We got a new property and I begged her to keep ontop of the dog mess. She said she would. But this didn't happen. Been here 2 years and she has cleaned the garden twice.

We had rats living in our entry because of the poop and next door have rats too because of the mess in our garden. Today the rat man from the council came to install rat traps in her garden and took photos of our garden.

I urged my partner to sort the garden out but it's just exploded in arguments. It's my fault apparently for not helping her around the house. The arguments are silly.

But, we're now about to be evicted if this isn't sorted. She's still sat downstairs watching TV not even interested.

We have a 10 year old, and he's got to go through all this.

I called the council myself and explained that I don't want to be evicted and that the problem is my partner doesn't want to clean up her dogs mess.

Some might say why don't I clean the mess. I'm not a dog person. I puke even going near poop. Call me a whimp, but that's one of the reasons why I refuse to have dogs. The agreement was I'd be happy with them in our family so long as she keeps ontop of them.

They sit in their crate all day. One limps because they rarely go for walks. I begged her to give them to someone who can look after them but once again another argument.

Please , any advice? I can't even speak to her about this calmly without her kicking off and blaming me in some way.

OP posts:
PlatformNineAndThreeQuarters · 22/09/2017 14:31

If she won't clean up or if like someone else suggested she might be depressed and you're not really a dog person then I'd tell her you're getting the dogs rehomed. The agreement you had was that she looked after them and she didn't and you can't keep losing accommodation over it. She might not like this but it's her own making and she'd like it a lot less to be homeless. Can't be nice for your ten year old not to be able to use the garden either. Hope you can find a good solution

AssassinatedBeauty · 22/09/2017 14:31

How long have the council given you to clear up the mess?

BertrandRussell · 22/09/2017 14:32

So you're going to let yourself be evicted rather than clean up the garden? Hmm

Something odd about this.

NightmareMonkey · 22/09/2017 14:38

You are assisting your partner in cruelty towards the dogs. The right thing to do is to call the RSPCA, tell them the dogs are being neglected & get them to take them away.
Then do whatever you want, who cares, you clearly don't as you ate on hete asking what to do. Grow a set & take action. Btw your partner sounds like a horrible, lazy, pathetic lump.

Bananalanacake · 22/09/2017 14:38

Has she got depression and been signed off work, how do you afford food for the dogs.

averageguy1 · 22/09/2017 14:38

It sounds like more than just the dog mess ..rehome the dogs then rehome yourself with consideration taken into account for your DS . Life is far to short ..

Hidingtonothing · 22/09/2017 14:40

Firstly, get the ball rolling on rehoming those dogs, local rescues, Dogs Trust, RSPCA etc, I have some contacts in rescue so if you want to PM me your general area I will see if I know anyone near you if it helps. Your DP doesn't have a leg to stand on if she argues, she's broken the promises/agreement she made with you and can't/won't look after them so they have to go.

As for the garden I suggest you get gloved/masked up as suggested, equip DP with the same and insist you both get out there and sort it. It's not about who was 'supposed' to do it anymore, your childs' home depends on it being done so you both need to just get on with it. If your LL can see you've made an effort and that the dog's are going/gone you might just be able to save this situation.

Once all that is done I would be trying to get to the bottom of why your DP has let this happen and whether there's a deeper reason for the way she's behaving, allowing things to get so bad she almost loses the roof over her childs' head is worrying imo.

DJBaggySmalls · 22/09/2017 14:44

Some rescue.
Until you've rehomed the dogs pay a dog walker and someone to clear up the dog crap.
Get your partner to go to the doctor and have a check up. She could be depressed, anemic, have an underactive thyroid or some other issue.
Then if you want to save the relationship, look at counselling.

TakeMe2Insanity · 22/09/2017 14:45

I am not a dog person. That is not dog rescue, that is dog neglect. Worst is that you are enabling it. Report her to the RSPCA/police, get a new place look after your son.

Original poster
SomeRandomGuy · 22/09/2017 14:46

I've just reported it to the RSPCA. They were rather concerned. With any luck they'll be out to investigate pronto.

It comes to something when you have to report your own partner to the RSPCA. I've had enough of trying now.

OP posts:
BellBookandCandle · 22/09/2017 14:46

I agree with Bertrand, you would rather move back to your mother's and leave your partner and child to be (potentially) evicted rather than pick up the dog mess. Bizarre!

I can't understand how you live with stench, the point must be ankle deep by now 🤢

Grow up and clear it up. You cannot absolve yourself of blame by saying you only agreed to the dogs if she cleaned up.......they are part of your family dynamic and you need to step up and take care of them.

You also need to get them rehomed, currently they have a miserable life and they deserve better.

Your partner sounds like she may need some support as well, she sounds like she may be depressed or anxious. Blaming her may not be helping, you both need to sit down and discuss how to solve this issue before it is too late

PatriciaHolm · 22/09/2017 14:47

You've been with her 9 years and you have a 10 year old? Is the child not your biological son?
Sounds like you have got yourself into a ridiculous standoff which has resulted in neglected animals and a child living in a home where the garden is so covered in shit it can't be used.

Grow up and deal with it. Shovel the shit yourself if necessary, to avoid your son/stepson being evicted, and take some positive steps towards sorting your relationship out.

Mummaofboys · 22/09/2017 14:48

Ring the RSPCA and get them to collect the poor dogs, you are just as much to blame if you see animal cruelty going on and do nothing to help the situation. People like you and your partner should be locked up in a cage for days on end to see how it feels for these poor dogs. How can you live amongst rats and filthy surroundings and just say it's not your job? You let your ten year old stay in what sounds like a open air sewer? I'm surprised your neighbours have taken two years to report you, i agree with Adora10 if I knew your address I'd report you too.

ReanimatedSGB · 22/09/2017 14:51

Do you do anything around the house? I accept that you are grossed out by dogshit, but it doesn't sound like you are doing any cooking, cleaning or childcare, either.

You don't seem to care much about the child, the dogs, or your partner - other than telling her to do the domestic work rather than doing any yourself.

SemiNormal · 22/09/2017 14:51

You've done the right thing in reporting her. I can't get my head around why you have allowed it to get this far (for the second time) when you have a child. I don't understand why you haven't cleaned the garden rather than have rats/shit around your child? It's mind boggling to me. Not only that but the neighbours obviously must hate you and do they have kids? I hope your child isn't being left out of playing with the neighbourhood children because of this - or bullied because of it?

AlpacaLypse · 22/09/2017 14:53

Well done re ringing RSPCA.

Is the little boy your son or stepson? Could he come and stay with you at your mum's?

Notears · 22/09/2017 14:54

I had neighbours who had two dogs and they used to only clean up the shit once a week. The stench was disgusting and I couldn't enjoy my garden in the summer. I moved house over it in the end. What your home and garden must smell like I dread to think and also of course your neighbours.

On the other hand, I refused to pick up the mess when exh had a dog as I didn't want a dog, he did.

I think you should have acted sooner. I would have cleaned it up myself after a couple of weeks, with a shovel as a pp said, then I would have left with the child if the situation was not resolved. How could you live there for two years!!

I am quite distressed to hear the dogs live in a crate.

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 22/09/2017 14:54

Well done OP, for manning up, and taking responsibility.
Those dogs deserve better.
Do you think your DP has depression ?

Notears · 22/09/2017 14:55

I do agree that If you both live there you are both responsible.

BaconAndBees · 22/09/2017 14:56

I don't understand this thread. If she's picked up once in two years the garden must be covered in inches of the stuff. So your dogs are walking on it and treading it into the house? Does the house not stink? Are you not constantly ill?

LittleLights · 22/09/2017 14:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheFirstMrsDV · 22/09/2017 14:57

Why are people so determined this is the OPs fault? Confused

They are the partner's dogs. Nothing to do with the OP as he made clear from the start.
All that prodding to find out if he is an abusing bastard.

Lovemusic33 · 22/09/2017 14:57

You have done the right thing by phoning the rspca, poor dogs should be walked once or twice a day, if she walked them they would poop whilst out and she could pick it up and bin it straight away? Anyway sounds like she can't be bothered to walk them or pick up any poop so hopefully the rspca will make her hand them over.

I don't think this is OP's fault, he let her have the dogs on the condition she looked after them, she's no longer doing that so either the dogs go or OP goes.

paxillin · 22/09/2017 14:57

This is more than one dog? A year's worth of shit in the garden must be half a ton. I'd think you will need a specialist company with people in protective clothing to clean that up.

purpleprincess24 · 22/09/2017 14:58

Those poor dogs and that poor child

Grow a pair, get some rubber gloves and a face mask and get the garden sorted, it's a health hazard to your son, which you are enabling.

No one likes picking up dog poop but I do not understand how on earth you have let this situation get so bad.

I have 3 small dogs and I clean our garden a minimum of every other day