DP planning to propose, how do I let him down gently?

[barkinginessex]

We are off to Paris next weekend and I've just found a diamond engaging ring.
We've been together 8 years but I don't want to marry him. He's not the right man for me.
How do I let him down gently? I feel sick at the thought of saying no and hurting him but deep down I know that saying yes would be wrong

What do you think you're going to do OP? I'd definitely end it before Paris. You gave him a chance and it hasn't worked, you'll be doing yourself the favour

Op isn't he still texting the other woman. No wonder you can't trust him! Also from your other posts he sounds like a general prick.
Just tell him you're leaving because you can't trust him. You've 'allowed' this behaviour by not breaking up with him before, it's no way to live. You deserve someone who respects you!

barking, apologies.
I didn't realise you had posted before.
Daily M reporters have started threads before and then the thread has appeared in the paper.
If he has cheated on you why would you possibly agree to marry him ?
Run for the hills.
Unless you are a masochist and want to be hurt again.

Don't go to Paris. Tell him today.

How big is the ring?

I honestly don't know what I'm going to do. I feel so conflicted. He's not texting OW any more and he seems to have changed lately and is treating me much better.
If I said yes I'd have a future of wealth and an ok relationship but no great love. So I know I need to end things but I'm just finding it really hard.
Thanks again everyone.

This thread is a prime example of how quickly people can be judged on here.

Many many women stay in relationships where there has been deceit, abuse, no spark etc etc for years..

OP has had a flaming for 'leading him on.., treating him badly etc' Having now looked back through the previous threads, before judging, this is clear shes had a huge reality check.

It wasn't just an affair from years ago, but a continued betrayal of trust by keeping in contact with OW causing OP a very unhappy life. Yes she had the option to leave but she probably wanted to believe he'll change. Perhaps he now has and wants to spend the rest of his life with her hence the proposal but if you ask me it'll be his just desserts to tell him no, after everything he's done so appallingly previously.

He's had his cake and eaten it for too long...

@Paperdoll16 that eloquently sums up exactly how I'm feeling and why. Thank you.

Reading your other threads I see you have many problems with this relationship...MIL issues, he gropes you constantly, communication is difficult, he's getting grumpier the older he gets, financial issues, he's rude when your parents visit, plus he cheated on you 3 years ago and it looked like he was back in touch with OW last year. Don't feel bad for not wanting to marry him! Finding the ring could be the best thing that's happened to the relationship for a long time as it's focussing your mind on whether he is Mr Right, and you know he's not (and I don't blame you for thinking that). Best bet would be to tell him ASAP that you've found it and that if the Paris weekend is a planned proposal that your answer is no. Better still, end the relationship at the same time.