Christian wife leaving my husband

[WonderRose]

I'm a Christian woman about to leave my husband and I was looking for some advice on how to carry the guilt. We have 2 children together and have been together 3 years. He's not a very nice man. I was speaking people before but I can't remember their usernames so can't get in touch with them

Another poster hoping all went as well as it could at the police station. He may well get spoken to today, and possibly charged whith a whole number of offences. The man is a pig.
I'd imagine he will get at least police bail, and with conditions to not make any contact with you or the children.

Keep going Wonder. you're doing brilliantly.

You’re doing so well!! Look how far you’ve come. Keep going xx

Yes wonder!! You're doing amazingly.

Sorry if I'm posting on here too much. I literally don't have anyone anymore apart from my cousin.

Post away. I know it probably doesn't feel like it, but you're doing amazingly well x

yes i agree with eevvee post away - we are with you all the way x

You are not posting too much.

Post as much as you like.

Well done. In a way this is the worst part. Things will get a bit of momentum than continue on in fits and starts.

You're not posting too much - don't be daft! You need to do anything and everything you need to get you through.

Keep going, you're doing so well

Keep posting as much as you want to.

You will be in shock for a while, and struggling to come to terms with everything because your world has shifted so much.

Give yourself time. Listen to the wise women on here, and WA and the police. Never be afraid to ask questions. People will repeat themselves as often as you need- it's hard to take everything in in one go.

You're certainly not posting too much. You are incredibly brave. And you are unravelling years of indoctrination which has enabled the abhorrent abuse and rape you have suffered under the guise of religion.

We're all with you

Very glad police are looking after you in terms eg of making sure you eat. Important to keep blood sugar up!

I'm very surprised that it's a written statement in the circumstances..?

Thinking of and praying for you today wonder.
I'm a Christian woman and I left an abusive (but nowhere near as bad as your) husband. It took a couple of tries to get away, but three years on I have an amazing happy life with my kids. I've joined a new church and they are absolutely supportive of us, and I'm actually stronger in my faith.
I can't recommend enough though getting in touch with women's aid. They were so supportive of me practically in terms of refuge housing and emotionally too.

You are in shock because you have been living a lie where it turns out that the people who should be supportive of you where in fact traitors to you purely to serve their needs. It hurts but it will be far better when you are living an authentic live.

The baby steps at first. Think of some food he hates but you like or a colour they hate but you like - try them. Go for a walk with your children and just talk with them. Eventually you'll find out what you like and who you are and with that real friends not conditional ones.

Think OP is making a video/recording but she's written it all down to try and help her in the interview.

No she definitely said the police were writing it down.

Unless she means note taking during a video interview of course. Serious sexual offence victims should always give their evidence by video interview under (achieve bes evidence) guidelines. It also means they are entitled to additional special measures should the matter go to court.

The OP was advised here to write stuff down before the interview.
But she indicated the police were writing notes from her words.

Finally finished. That was awful. Remembering as much as I can. I seen the posts there about the writing it down, it was supposed to be written it down, my things I wrote down. It was a video interview and they also took some notes. They said he will be arrested for assault, sexual assault and something else i can't remember the name of, to do with the control he had over me with money, sex and things that I was allowed to do. Think it began with a c but not sure. My mind is just going a million miles an hour right now. A lot of things they said was rape that i didn't realise like times I woke up with him on top of me. I never thought that was wrong, I didn't like it but I never realised it was bad. Heading back to my cousins now. Habe court tomorrow for the restraining order thing.

coercive control

It sounds like they are taking it seriously and taking the right course of action. Now you must remain strong and not respond to him. Record everything further he says and does and don't underestimate him. He will undoubtedly be furious and the next few days are the critical high risk time.

Well done. Have some decent time with the kids. you're incredibly strong