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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Christian wife leaving my husband

603 replies

WonderRose · 16/09/2017 11:48

I'm a Christian woman about to leave my husband and I was looking for some advice on how to carry the guilt. We have 2 children together and have been together 3 years. He's not a very nice man. I was speaking people before but I can't remember their usernames so can't get in touch with them

OP posts:
springydaffs · 09/10/2017 14:20

Yes, stay safe. This is the danger time, you need protection.

Get your injuries documented and photographed. You, and the kids, need protection now and ongoing xx

SeraphinaDombegh · 09/10/2017 14:25

Oh @WonderRose, my heart is breaking for you. I'm so sorry you had to go through that last night. Please please know that what he did WAS rape, because he knew you weren't consenting. I'm so relieved that you've got away again but please please do take PPs advice and get in touch with Women's Aid and the police. Your husband is a nasty and very dangerous man and you need to be protected. I'm sickened by what your parents did. They cannot ever be trusted again. I'm so sorry SadFlowers

Gemini69 · 09/10/2017 14:38

MNHQ please leave this thread running we at least know this Woman and her children as safe x

Original poster
WonderRose · 09/10/2017 14:41

I'm at my cousins. Someone from the police will come at some point today. Feels good to be here. Nervous though and I don't know why. He's still phoning. Phoned my cousin, I don't even know how he got her number, he must have looked through my phone or something coz my parents don't even know her number.

OP posts:
smartiecake · 09/10/2017 14:47

Keep a log of all the calls so you can show the police. Make sure you turn your phone off latethe so you get some peace and can sleep. You have been so bravery. Today is the first day of you and your children moving forward and being able to breathe again.

Desmondo2016 · 09/10/2017 14:50

Hopefully he will be being arrested this evening then!

springydaffs · 09/10/2017 14:50

Glad the police are coming today - bcs this is danger time, esp if he now knows where you are.

You and the kids need to be safe. Don't take any risks eh xx

Original poster
WonderRose · 09/10/2017 14:50

Hopefully it's the start of something better. Keep thinking he's going to take the kids back.

OP posts:
WhingyNinja · 09/10/2017 14:59

You’re so brave, I hope you manage to speak to the police and report his disgusting behaviour.

Youcanttaketheskyfromme · 09/10/2017 15:01

You're doing really well.

You are. Breaking years of conditioning.

Gemini69 · 09/10/2017 15:04

you need to get to a Lawyer and a Court room fast Flowers

CredulousThickos · 09/10/2017 15:09

Good luck OP.

heateallthebuns · 09/10/2017 15:21

Hope it goes better this time wonder rose. Sending lots of love and support!

SparklyMagpie · 09/10/2017 15:27

Glad to hear the police will be coming to see you at some point

It'll be hard OP, but this will be a new beginning for you and your children xx

CamelliaSinensis35 · 09/10/2017 15:30

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
WonderRose · 09/10/2017 15:50

Who would actually do that camellia? It's sick.

OP posts:
WellThisIsShit · 09/10/2017 16:07

Try and call Womens Aid, you need sympathetic and informed advice from a service who are used to dealing with women who aren't able to advocate for themselves.

You need to get informed. Knowing what was wrong can help you articulate events in a way that makes it extremely clear to others the extent of the abuse.

GeekLove · 09/10/2017 16:23

Lock all the doors. I guess your cousin will be with you on that.

MiniTheMinx · 09/10/2017 16:40

You are brave Wonder, you have come a long way since your first thread. Abuse of the kind you have experienced leaves a lot of self-doubt. Psychological, and emotional abuse can leave you feeling confused, feeling shame and feeling as though somehow it's not "real" abuse because the abuser makes you share in the responsibility for their actions by blaming you, humiliating you and punishing you.

None of it was your fault. None of it. Women's Aid are experienced in understanding and helping you to make sense of it, and to advocate for you.

As others have said, your first priority is to report him for rape, you have more than enough evidence, (I'm basing this on what you said on first thread, plus you have external injuries from the belt) please, please report him. This will be the start of you going through a whole process where the agencies can advise and act with you to protect you and your children. You want to ensure that he can't take them, make certain he can't.

bullyingadvice2017 · 09/10/2017 16:43

Make sure you tell the police the full extent of what he's done.

ineedwine99 · 09/10/2017 16:56

Stay safe OP and please please please DO NOT GO BACK! He is a vile individual. Keep every text etc, anything you can use against him and do not let him know where you are.
Hope your kids are doing ok.
Try and get a restraining order

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 09/10/2017 17:02

Be strong, love, and report him. You've drawn a line now. Let him face some consequences now. You've a wonderful opportunity for freedom, for you and your children.

Original poster
WonderRose · 09/10/2017 17:39

I've to go to the police station tomorrow to make a full statement with I can't remember what they called it but someone who deals with domestic violence and stuff. They were surprisingly nice. Seemed to believe me which I wasn't expecting

OP posts:
Youcanttaketheskyfromme · 09/10/2017 17:44

We told you they would. Smile

You've done very well. Did they say they would arrest him ?

Please do take the advice of those here and take photos and save all messages.

I hope your cousin is looking after you.

Original poster
WonderRose · 09/10/2017 17:45

Once I give my full statement tomorrow they will see if they arrest him. I told them I didn't want to go tonight, it's a while to the station and I just want to put the kids to bed and relax before it all starts tomorrow

OP posts: