The Dating Thread Number 122: Colour By Numbers

[ConorMcGregorsChin]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.

Lana Why, if you're seeing someone else, is it not ok for the guy to be? Maybe the other woman knows too? I never, ever assume something is exclusive until you have The Talk until that point it's fair game.

Ruby I agree with the others, good on you. I think its better to be upfront but generally if a second date hasn't been confirmed by the end of the first date it's not going to happen in my book. You have to remember him not responding or even not wanting to see you again is all about him and not about you. You can be the most fabulous thing since sliced bread and if someone's not in the right place then it's not going to happen. I dated this guy for about 6 weeks, we clicked, great conversation, he really wanted to spend time together, -good sex- and then he dumped me because I was "too nice" and he just wasn't ready to date after his horrid, demanding ex. I'm not going to stop being nice - his loss. Even if it was just a BS excuse, it's his problem not mine!

Thanks Love and Phoenix I've not had a reply so that confirms it really.

Ho hum. It has made me think again about what I am looking for. This guy was a bit older and more mature in his tastes. I wouldn't have looked twice at his photo but he sent me an interesting message. So I might look again at older guys on the dating sites bearing that in mind.

As I walked into the pub to meet him I got eyed up by a big group of men so I know its not that I am hideously ugly haha.

Phoenix being dumped because you are too nice?! haha that is the most bullshit excuse. Def. his loss.
the guy last night even said how he thought OLD was terrible because it commoditises people etc etc... and hasn't even sent me a polite message to say thanks but no thanks. Not quite the gentleman that I thought then!

Phoenix multidating with casual dating is fine, but I was clear with Mr Electric that I am dating one man, didn't say casual dating. He said he was seeing someone he had known for some time rather than casually dating, prob through work. So I would assume he told her he would be exclusive as he told me, then weeks later I found he was still on pof.

When dating, I checked pof as I didn't trust him and now he would like to take me out and get me drunk i.e. dtd I think the mistrust was correct.
You are right, she may know that he is looking around, but I think he's probably a player in general.

I know Ruby I laughed out loud when I read it. Such a coward's excuse. But I really do think whether you text or not says everything. I learned not to bother texting after a bad date when I went on a totally hilarious date with this guy, let's call him Hans. Anyway he picked this totally snooty private members club in Mayfair where the martinis started at £20 a pop and they bring a little silver cart over to make them -taking 100 years- in front of you. The kind of place where you have to whisper, also - totally not my kind of place.

Hans later admits (after dropping 12 step comments into every part of the conversation) that he was recovering from a Love Addiction and went to Love Addicts Anonymous at least once a week (he realised he had a love addiction from watching a documentary on Ulrike Johnson!!)

He then went on to tell me that the reason he was like this was because of his family (blah blah blah) and it was because his grandfather was a senior member of some evil elite force of the SS in the war! He literally only talked about himself for 2 hours. The only time I have ever used the "babysitter" as an excuse to leave early. So, being too nice, I sent him a text the next day to just say thanks for the -insanely overpriced- drinks and good luck. He messaged me back saying I wasn't his type anyway and he didn't think he could fall in love with me! I was like - screw being polite, sometimes it's better to just walk away.

Hold your head up - you were honest and sincere. If he doesn't respond then he's a coward & you didn't want that anyway!

Ah Lana didn't realise there was history. What a dick! I have a friend who always -strings men along- has multiple guys on the go but then freaks out if they're seeing other people and I'm always confused about the attitude, your situation is clearly different!

Ruby sooo many speak with forked tongue talk fucking shite
Onwards and upwards darling!

Crying at some of these...
Smeaton - D) Sent a wanking video in Milton Keynes
Conor - What was he hoping for? A Fecking BAFTA?
Love - Probably the only time a man can multi task though.

So I met Mr Hot Native Londoner last night. It turned into a major hook up he is lovely and we got on well though we're quite different. Not sure if we'll meet again but mission accomplished: I met a sweet man, had some hot sex and got some confidence back

I will just add though that he bit my little finger really hard and it bloody hurts this morning. Might have bruised the bone...

Couch Hugh five and yay for the hot action.
Buuuuut, whoah! He bit your little finger so hard he's bruised the bone? He'd have got a smack in the mush from me for that.

If you hook up again, plesse tell him what's acceptable lovely and be safe.

Yes you're right Conor. I did give him a verbal bashing, he apologised and didn't do anything of the sort again. But its hurting to type now

Well done Couch! Always good to be a bit sore after a hook up session although the finger's a new one!

Couch I get getting carried away in a moment of passion but biting your finger! Christ who did you go on a date with? Mike Tyson?

LanaDR are you feeling a small piece of satisfaction that Mr Electric has come crawling back even if he is wanting to see others? Bet it felt good telling him to jog on.

Ruby his loss, its fine to say if you had a good date after. If he is too rude to even acknowledge your message best you find out early on. Onward and upwards for sure.

Whoa, you're all on fire this morning.

Couch to ouch - bitten little finger . That's a new one. Mind you a good hook-up certainly puts a zing in your step.

My non-date date is a few hours away so I have body hair to tame and head hair to mane. In my under-invested-for-a-date experiment I have absolutely no intention of a tongue rummage let alone any other rummage but I have to defuzz to feel the part!

Well I just got a thanks but no thanks message, I think he is a nice guy but just not that into me. So thats that, at least he made the effort to be polite though.

Sorry Ruby that's never good when it's one-sided but at least he messaged rather than just disappeared in the ether. Next!

Thanks guys. He was lovely but possibly a bit "conservative" for me.

aaaaand...I have re-activated POF

Ruby he wasn't the man for you. Do some self-protection today.

Beenthere - good luck!

Phoenix I think its better to be upfront but generally if a second date hasn't been confirmed by the end of the first date it's not going to happen in my book Not at all ,at least in my experience
Ruby ye looks like at least he thought this through,who know what he's looking for ,maybe not relationship.

Yes CTRLQ and Tineye are reverse image search engines.

After dinner badespero experiences recently I check all potential Irons pics thru there.

Take a screenshot of said photo. Crop out the PoF/Tinder etc background and then upload the image to both those search engines. Comes up with some very interesting results sometimes.

I just think of it as another way of internet background checking.

Whatis That's interesting! I haven't had a single second date that wasn't at least suggested while on the first!

The way I see it,the more lead up to first date there is (Ie consistent contact and getting to know each other ) the more chances 1st date will be 1st of many. By the time you on a date,you already built up a connection so just carry on from there. When first date finished, chatting habit already is there so it would be hard to stop ,so just naturally carry on chatting and arrange second date. Unless of course you really don't fancy him and pictures don't match reality on one or both side !

I think for me,because sex early is on out of the equation ,it is easier .I rarely get nervous on 1st date and just enjoy the company,have a laugh,smile a lot and it is hard to resist that. I do not remember time I was ghosted after a first date, it did happen but long time ago ,when I was less selective in my iron choices.

Been watching this thread for a while. I'm back on the dating apps now. I was going out with a guy I met on bumble, then out of the blue he dumped me by text, was upset and shocked but moving on now.
What do people think of okcupid? Don't know whether to give it a go...