How would you feel if your DP/DH had a takeaway for 1

[Blossomflowers]

I am wrong to be hurt by this. After a stressful day DP announced he is going out for food. Comes back with a chinese takeway and sits in the lounge and stuffs his face. Then offers me leftovers err no thanks. He has in fact done this twice in the past week. To make matters worse he knows I am broke.

You sound like you are in the middle of angry feelings with each other. You need some kind of perspective or ability to get through. I'm not sure 'turfing him out' is the answer if you are basically going through a rough patch. Escalating it, by ending the relationship, should only be done if you are absolutely sure. Otherwise you'll never deal with whatever is causing this sticky patch.

Could you be the bigger person here. Think about what has been causing this. Either start calm talks now, or suggest you both go out for so meal just to get on better terms with each other. Or suggest counseling. Or go away for the weekend either with him or by yourself.

You know how you're broke?
And he lives in your house?
I'm going to chance a tenner betting that he doesn't pay his way fully.

he needs to go. Pack his bags and chuck him out

I had an ex bf who used to do this among other things. He was an abusive arsehole. He would find reasons to fall out with me (really stupid minor things) & then not speak to me for a week ordering takeaways for himself & eating them in front of me while i had nothing to eat. Eventually i left & realised just how messed up he was. If this sort of stuff is happening regularly it would be ringing alarm bells for me

It would never happen. You need a new DP.

I am reading Lundy Brancroft, just downloaded on my Kindle. Why do I have such low expectations for myself.
My crimes on Saturday are that
I moaned about the music
Asked if he made a foul whilst playing pool
Looked at him in a sarcastic manner ( is that possible)
And stormed off, I went an loaded the dish washer whilst he watched tele
Fair enough be bugged by me but to turn it into this. Re Tues takeaway can't remember what I had done then, though I did get offered leftovers again

loub your ex BF sounds hidious. Fluff he is a newish partner we have been tog 18 months

That's a cocklodger you have there, OP.
He needs to be exterminated dumped immediately.

autumn I approached him 4 times yesterday calmly to ask what was the matter, just to be ignored. Finally when I said I was going out because I hated the atmosphere he kicked off, called me a thick bitch.

Is he paying rent? Is he paying his way? This has cocklodger written all over it. You need some standards lady because this man sounds like a prize prick.

To be fair about money he has been very generous last few weeks, I have been paid today so all good on money front

How long have you been living together?

It's not working out is it? Time he left again.

He clearly doesn't care about you, and he doesn't seem to like living with you.

oh, just seen he called you a thick bitch.

I wouldn't tolerate anyone calling me a bitch. It's a horrible thing to call someone you are supose to love.

For that alone I'd be saying consider your relationship, but frankly there doesn't seem to be much else good here.

So why are you with him if he called you a thick bitch?

It then doesn't sound like a rough patch. Don't you think OP?

What about the last few 18 months? Does he pay his way??

Get him out of the house and have nothing more to do with the abusive twat.

Time he left and realised that you are not his verbal punching bag.
You dont have to tiptoe around him in case he starts off on a rant.
Your house your rules and if he cannot be civil then he leaves.
All you 'crimes' are just excuses for his behaviour.
If you are that bad then surely he will be better off out of it.

Give him till the end of the week to pack up and leave, do not take anymore of his crap.

Yep OP - Girl On A Train - the term is called "Gaslighting" - google it. It's very common.

I was out the other night with a friend and came home late (about 10:30ish) to hubby pulling up in the driveway with a kebab and a "sorry I didn't know what time you would be home" - fair enough.... We shared his kebab......

This is just black and white for me.
Who wants to be with someone who calls them a thick bitch?

If someone living in my house, burn my food and went out and bought themselves dinner, they would not be sleeping there that night. Let alone all the other shit.

Mummy yes he does pay his way. I think the takeaway thing is a punishment or maybe he just can't see it as a problem that is what I am trying figure out

what a prick! i would be fuming

Punishment?? That sounds awful if it is true. Is this someone you see yourself with 5, 10 years time? You'll never get to the truth I suspect as he will go apeshit. So I suspect punishment.