The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Go Sober For October?

[Mouseface]

Hello, 'tis me, Mouseface, welcome to the Bus, aka Gerarld.

We're a bus full of various Babes, from those who are as dry the Sahara, those who drink in moderation, those who binge drink and can go for weeks without a drop and then fall arse over tit (pardon the french!) straight off the bus and into the sidecar, and then we have Babes who try every single day to give up.

The thing is, we all do 'this' ONE DAY AT A TIME and with passion too. You have to WANT to stop with every fibre of your being.

And that's what this bus is about. We support each other. No matter how many times you fall of the Bus, we'll always be here to scoop you back up and listen.

So, come and join us. Lurk, or grab a seat, make sure you're comfy and enjoy the journey as we talk about the dreaded drink, plus everything from how expensive Tena Lady's are, to what's in the slow cooker!

We don't judge, this isn't a competition, it's our lives.

And if you'd like to read the last thread, HERE IT IS

Plus, if you'd like to see where the Bus started out, you can RIGHT HERE

Hope to see you soon xx

He's not very tall - about 5" 10?

He looks kind and kindness makes giants of men ☺

I love that expression' lux. There is a line in a song which I love which is "In the end,only kindness matters" and its so true.

I have not had a great day. Went round to DB’s and his GF for lunch. Her 12 and 14 year old DDs are going back to boarding school today which she finds quite emotional- it’s not her choice for them to go there, it’s her ex DH’s. But it was so hard spending a whole afternoon with these 2 young girls when I’ve seen my own DD for a couple of hours all week.
I did have a brief period when we were driving home of feeling really acutely suicidal. I live for the school holidays, I always have things planned and I’ve barely seen them all week.
And the one chance I got to see DH, he buggered off to the pub with his GF and my DB.
I really don’t see a way back from this right now, I honestly don’t.

Elba I've PM'd you x

Evening all just a quick check in

Ma corrr Richard does look handsome Happy Birthday to him x

Lux oh yes that champagne hangover If I was forced to drink again it would be dry, very cold champs. Hope you're feeling better lovely

Hoolies that sounds tough, be kind to yourself, tomorrow is a new week and you're starting your detox, keep thinking about the end result - what would your DC do if you weren't here for them - suicide is not the answer, getting sober IS

Love to everyone, first day back at work tomorrow having sent my appeal letter in, shitting myself Having a golden oldie music day today currently listening to Imagination - Music & Lights, love 'em x

we are Babes
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Hello. Lurked for a couple of years. Regular poster. Marriage broke up - number of reasons but we were enabling.

I’ve just come back from a family event. I got totally smashed in front of my kids and my family. It was a free bar, but I didn’t pace myself and although I had sensibly ordered a cab for 11 and an AirB&B for the night, I got so shitfaced my Mum had to take me back and put us all to bed. Then I had to talk to AirB&B host and apologise and drive 4 hours home. I am having beers\anything on offer as I simply just don’t know how to deal with myself anymore.

This morning - I had to go back to the venue as I’d picked up someone’s coat instead of DS’s. My DD pointed out where I had fallen on the dance floor. I am so pissed off it was me - that people remember “remember Iron was wrecked at that event”. And that my DD/DS witnessed my disgraceful behaviour. Tonight my Ma has told me that I fell into all of the coats on the coat rack.... And everything else. And she’s like - forget it Iron....

Basically it was my birthday mid week and I have been on a bender since last Friday.
But last night was a proper blackout. In front of my kids. At a family event. I’m so totally mortified. I shouldn’t have gone. The romance and love of the event and my shitty year equalled total carnage.

I don’t even know if I can do this anymore without booze. I drink every night. I feel like proper chit. Can’t remember the last time I was sober in all honesty.

I am pissed posting this. Feeling like a proper wrecking ball.

Iron welcome I didn't want to read and not post we've all done it. I've just remembered a mortifying moment one of so MANY when I was at my cousin's wedding in Derbyshire (I'm darn sarf) where there was a free bar & I thought I'd been pacing myself quite well I have this vivid memory of walking down this grand staircase (in high heels) and getting the back of my trouser caught in the heel, I tumbled elegantly down the stairs (one daughter in front of me, my brother beside me and other daughter behind me) I landed in a heap at the bottom it was awful and in my pissed state I thought I'd styled it out and I soooo hadn't
It's shit Iron but what is done is done, can you pour the rest of your drink down the sink, go and brush your teeth, get your PJs on, make a cup of tea and get into bed. Tomorrow is another day

iron welcome. Start again tomorrow.

iron welcome. We've all been there, done something stupid when pissed.
Tomorrow is another day

Hello. I know I need to cut down or stop but I get the fuzzies and it stops everything being so real. Single parent of 3. Run a business, house, dog and just gone back to uni. I know have to do something but think I’m frightened of the crushing weight of the reality of my life if I stop. Anyway. Thought I’d say hi!

Hi lovechild and welcome. Well done for posting, that's a step in the right direction.

ma so good to hear about Richard - I can imagine that in some ways a place like China, which doesn't have the same drinking culture as we do, could be a good place to be.

hoolies maybe you can't see a way back because going back is not where you want to be.... instead, you're going forward. That's a new way, so you might not know what it looks like. Not yet. But you can, you will. Baby steps, one at a time. Keep on inch by inch x

Iron Nobody here will judge you. I have done hideous things over the last couple of weeks. I have never said this before but one of the most awful things I have done while drunk (which I have no memory of) is to vomit on my dinner and then tried to eat it which was relayed to my 10 year old daughter.
I truly believe that all of us on this thread are basically decent people but are in the grip of a hideous addiction.
Please stay around. We all understand
I can’t speak for all the other babes but I genuinely don’t think there is anything that anyone can say about what they’ve done whilst under the influence that will shock me.

venus You are so incredibly wise. I wish there was some kind of award I could nominate you for. I’m sure there are so many people who are in a much better place because of your gentle words of wisdom

Hi everyone. Iron...I've read your post and identity so much with it.
I'm sending you a hug and I'm not the best person to offer advice at the moment but know that I totally understand how you're feeling
MrsHoolie...i think you're such a lovely person. You're going through such a horrendous time and yet still reach out to others and myself here.
I didn't drink last night even though I desperately wanted to so that's my first day done.
Love child...i drink too because I like the fuzzies. That mellow feeling where nothing matters and alll my problems suddenly disappear. I just can't stop drinking once I start until I fall asleep (pass out). Then the next day I feel so ashamed of myself and feel even worse so I end up drinking again to feel better.
Please all, be kind to yourselves. X

Morning lovely babes, welcome to iron and lovechild this is a great place to be and you will find support and strength.

Did anyone watch the Louis Theroux program last night about anorexia? The women involved were trying to recover and doing their best, whatever their best looked like. They were sbo ashamed of their behaviour and so caught in the trap of their disorder- bit like addiction and recovery from alcohol. It was made abundantly clear that it was NOT their fault, they were suffering because of a mixture of personality type, trauma and just life events- just like us.

So none is to feel ashamed of how they behave whilst drunk, I done lots of stoooooopid things several time since over, I'm not a bad person and I'm doing my best to recover. iron give yourself a hug and just forget yesterday especially as you have already apologised. New day new start.

misshoolie this is a horrible image (unless you have strange tastes) but I have taken out the bus Pom poms and am doing the bus cheerleaders dance thingy. ma showed me what to do, think I believe her....

What a great update about richard I guess that when yiou've recovered from as hard a place as he has then taking a job in China just seems ordinary. He sounds fab is he an honoury member of the bus yet?

venus that was such a wise post. X
Big squeeze for spanna and mint

Dd slept for most of last night and I feel almost human. Sigh.

Hi hi. Thank you for your extremely lovely welcoming posts. I’m touched. Terribly hungover day off with kids. Drank nearly everything. Proper cocktail night of beer, ale and red wine. Talked to a v unhappily married male friend. Someone had bought me a bottle of wine which I fetched from car around 10. Phone died (I think) whilst talking and I passed out on sofa. Just how I like it..

What a sorry fucking state of affairs. I’m 40’s, just taken on my house (mortgage), Ex moved out in May. We basically split up last Oct before my wedding anniversary. I’ve been seeing a very lovely guy since March which is a massive secret. Sorting out divorce. Work full time.. We don’t see each other often. I really wanted to take him to the wedding but it would have been inappropriate. Because of the kids and ex as we’re not divorced yet. I’ve tried to give up smoking 5 times this year. I am a walking nightmare! I really need to do this and you lovely MN’s support. Going to bin last of wine I can’t actually believe I didn’t finish it. Help me with sobriety tonight. Sorry to be so self indulgent first postings..

iron bin the wine so that you're not tempted. Go out and buy lots of nice looking expensive soft drinks, they will be cheaper than wine.
Face pack? New book on kindle? Download a running app and buy some trainers?

Take some time to read and prepare for a stretch of sobriety. There are loads of blogs though I think I'd recommend reading the bus from the first post by jwn onwards.

I use a counter called 'I'm done drinking'

Audio books
Online jigsaws
Netflix
Plan your next step in life
Social media- this is my favourite. Linking out to people will take your mind off the WW. Find someone interestingly to follow on twitter etc
Early night you're probably exhausted
Headspace mindfulness app - lots of people use free mindfulness apps when the WW shows up
the Bubble Hour podcasts - these are great

Honestly, you're not alone there is masses of help which you can access. Bet the other babes have got much better distraction lists then me.

Second evening of no alcohol and I'm feeling so flat...the knowledge i had a couple bottles of wine for later gave me something to get through the day for. But instead it's felt like a long hard slog of a day.
I sound so negative I know and also know come 6am tomorrow when it's time to get up, I'll be thankful for a clear head. Hope everyone is ok. Thinking of you. X

Annabel it will get easier. My drink was a symbol of my me time. It was a sign that i was done for the evening and had got through another day. For others it was a symbol/sign of my descent into the "other" mum and not in a good way......I am only on day 38 but I have found that an af wine and lemonade help. That is my new symbol for the start of the relaxing me time, and its blooming good and yes the clear head the next morning is way better!!

Iron and lovechild Welcome!!

Thank you Real. I must find a wine replacement...something to look forward to that I can regard as a treat. I'll have a think and stock up for tomorrow eve!

Annabel, I keep a bottle of rose lemonade in the fridge for when I want something special, also add a slice of lime and some ice to cold sparkling water.
I also find that my "danger time" is from 5 - 6.30pm so am trying to distract myself then by doing something like having a shower, walking the dog or whatever. Good luck!

Last week I managed 4 AF days from Monday - Thursday, and drank 2.5 bottles of wine over the next 3 days, that is SO much better than I have ever done before. Back to AF tonight, lots of crochet to keep me busy.

Hope everyone's ok. Special thoughts to mshoolie.

guggen thanks for the great advice.
I've managed my first alcohol free night in no idea how long. Early night for me.

Iron that’s awesome. Sleep well

Well done iron!