The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Go Sober For October?

[Mouseface]

Hello, 'tis me, Mouseface, welcome to the Bus, aka Gerarld.

We're a bus full of various Babes, from those who are as dry the Sahara, those who drink in moderation, those who binge drink and can go for weeks without a drop and then fall arse over tit (pardon the french!) straight off the bus and into the sidecar, and then we have Babes who try every single day to give up.

The thing is, we all do 'this' ONE DAY AT A TIME and with passion too. You have to WANT to stop with every fibre of your being.

And that's what this bus is about. We support each other. No matter how many times you fall of the Bus, we'll always be here to scoop you back up and listen.

So, come and join us. Lurk, or grab a seat, make sure you're comfy and enjoy the journey as we talk about the dreaded drink, plus everything from how expensive Tena Lady's are, to what's in the slow cooker!

We don't judge, this isn't a competition, it's our lives.

And if you'd like to read the last thread, HERE IT IS

Plus, if you'd like to see where the Bus started out, you can RIGHT HERE

Hope to see you soon xx

Hi Ms
In all honesty from what you have posted you dont really have much choice -hope thats not too harsh.
Your DC and DH need you to do this so they can have the old (sober and wiser) you back
Forget work -you need to get well again xx

Hi all! I'm a chronic evening drinker and need advice. Is there anything you eat/drink which alleviates the 5pm NEED to go and get wine? I can cope up until then...then it all goes to pot and I get so annoyed with myself the next day. I drink far too much once I start but I can't stop

Welcome Annabel I'm just getting ready for bed now, but yes, my way was making sure I was hydrated so a big glass of sparkling water with ice (I bang on about this a lot, but it really is vital) distract so 5 PM has to become the time you jump in the bath/walk the dog/do the crossword - whatever. 'Change your playground, change your playmates' it's AA advice but it is good, it's about tweaking habits until they become the norm.
I am off to bed now but I'll catch up with you and everyone else tomorrow, just write whatever you want, whenever you want, we're all friends here and we all understand

Sweet dreams to every babe.

Pink I know you’re right, I’m on 200+ units a week, sometimes up to 250. This is going to kill me. I need help urgently, I really do.
After weeks of living at my
Parents and basically being told ‘Just keep drinking, we can’t help you’, it feels mind blowing to be offered a detox and rehab.
But I’m just not sure I’m ready for it. I don’t want to go and fuck it up. I just don’t understand how things spiralled out of control in such a short space of time.
But I will do this, I will take the chance I’ve been given which not many people get.
I am going to fucking do this if it’s the last thing I do.
I am sick of hiding bottles around the house, I am sick of sneaking bottles in stuck in my back pocket. I am sick of drinking vodka and topping it up with water to make it look like it hasn’t gone down. I have had enough. I want my life back and, if that means 12 weeks in hospital, so be it.
If that what it’s going to take, then that’s fine.

MsHoolie I know two mothers who have become sober from extreme levels of alcoholism. They did both need residential detox and rehabilitation programmes, more than once in fact. Both have been sober for years now.

I think you stand a huge chance of success as you’re engineering your own future. Both the mums I know felt they were “sent” by the families the first time and relapsed. Both asked to go the second time (both were in a bad way health wise) and that time it worked for them.

In your position I think I’d seize the opportunity. to you - you’ve come a long way already and are very brave.

I’m struggling (but not failing) just to moderate so hats off to all of you who are AF.

Thanks hold I know I need to do this but I’m scared.

mshoolie this is a fantastic opportunity for you, I understand your reservations and your fear, but you must grab it with both hands.

Think about it as if it was a serious physical illness, you wouldn't have any choice but to be in hospital for as long as it took. This is no different, you need a period of treatment and rehab to get you fit and well again. Your family and colleagues will benefit from a healthier you.
for you

Dear MsHoolies

You don't know me from Adam and I don't post here very often as I have not really much to say but I do quietly lurk in the background as I find that sometimes this thread helps remind me of why I'm af (I suspect that I'm not the only person who does this) I have been sober now for a while (over 6 months) and I have been trying to get sober for 5 years - I kept on trying, dusting myself off and trying again. My drinking became so much more dis-ordered towards the end of my drinking days. I ended up drinking about 3/4 to a bottle of vodka daily for two/three weeks at the end of my last drunk. I stopped and narrowly missed a medical detox - I went cold turkey against medical advice - I'm not recommending this by the way - it's so dangerous as you know. If I had been offered a residential I'd have felt the same way as you. I lost my job, nearly lost my family and totally lost my sanity for a while.

So what keeps me sober these days? - well I have an AA sponsor - she's quite focused on the process (steps) There's something that she always pulls me up on - and that is - that to stay sober we should be willing to go to any lengths. I resisted that at first - I tied myself up in knots about it. I would have several "what ifs" about family/friends that I would say but what if xyz. She points out to me regularly that if I don't have my sobriety I can't have a relationship with my kids/be a good mother/partner/employee and that is why maintaining sobriety is above all else - because without it I can't have anything else. Does this resonate with you? If so would any lengths to you involve rehab?

I can only speak for myself here and in AA people are advised to look for similarities and to only take what resonates with them - our experiences are all different, yet similar. So do feel free to ignore this post :D

I wish you well - I can see how determined you are about trying to tackle this problem in your life. Writing things down and being honest about how you feel are big scary steps that you have already taken. So it boils down to how desperate are you to feel well again? Because you can xx Baby steps, one day at a time you are getting closer to getting this horrid disease kicked into touch.

louise I do want this more than anything but I’m just worried that I can’t do it.
What I cant get my head around is that alcohol has become my sole coping mechanism.
Giving up alcohol is going to be extremely stressful for me but I can’t use alcohol to cope with it. I just don’t see a way of squaring that circle. It just seems like the absolute definition of catch 22.

Louise a very insightful post, thank you and congratulations on your sobriety

Hoolies I think I can relate to your fear, it's going into the unknown and the fear of failure is eating at your core. Please take this opportunity, the universe has given you this gift, take it with both hands and take a leap of faith. 3 months will pass so quickly and you will be well again. I'm sure that once the detox is finished there will be plenty of support surrounding your recovery, they are not just going to leave you to hang out to dry.

MsHoolies

The whole point of rehab (as I understand it) is to help you rebuild other coping mechanisms, so that you don't have to rely on alcohol in a supportive atmosphere so that you can cope. Wouldn't that be better than where you are now? I have never been to rehab but have met many people who have, I understand that it works if you want it to work. I guess that would be the crux of the issue. You sound very open to changing your habits and very aware of how you are at the moment. Only you can make this decision but looking in - after all that dismissal from the services where your parents are you worked hard to return to somewhere where you could access the support you thought you required. If that was the case, what would you say to a client of yours in similar circumstances?

Have faith in you, - you've been quite determined up to now, considering all that you have on board.

doris9034
I was doing fine, dry January led into 90 days then the beginning of May happened and I fell. It dawned hot and sunny and I'd walked out of my job so I spent two glorious weeks gardening and sitting in the sun with cold white wine. That's why I drunk again.
And I feel your pain in the music side. My DP is also a musician and has been learning a new song for the last three weeks after work. I want to kill him. It doesn't help that we have tickets for the band next month. I'm going to end up hating them before I even get there!

MsHoolies
You can do it. It's an amazing opportunity they have given you. We'll all be here cheering you on. ♥️

Thank you all so much. I will get the detox but the funding for the rehab isn’t guaranteed although the doctor seemed to think it wouldn’t be a problem because I need it because of the amount that I’m drinking- I could literally be dead in a couple of years if I carry on like this.
You’re all so wonderful, I really can’t thank you enough.

I just feel like I’m taking up too much space on this thread when there are so many of you going through hideous battles. I’m back at my parents. They can call me anytime from Monday morning to come in for my detox. I’ve been told that I must come in, even if I’ve been drinking. They’re used to it.
I am genuinely going to step back from this thread until Monday morning because I just feel like I’m taking up far too much of people’s time. I know I have a Lifeline now, even if it’s not going to be easy.
I will be be back here when I’m having my detox when I know I will need all the support I can get. I really wish all of you all the luck in the world at beating this x

really good luck with everything MissHoolie this could be completely life-changing and a whole new start.
Please never worry about taking up too much of the thread, I think we have all had times when we've needed more support or to post more, there's plenty of room here

Havent read everything but please keep us posted mrshoolie..you are not taking up too much time.
Been a difficult week.On top of everything else the bloody cat got a blade of grass stuck in his throat and it cost me £150 at the Vet. I was pressured into buying him a new basket to "cheer him up".Here is he enjoying it. Ungrateful bastard!

mint thank you so much - it really helps to know that someone else gets it! My drinking has got so much worse this year - I've had 2 redundancy situations, a close bereavement and a first incredibly hard foster placement. None of this is an excuse or a reason I know but I am now determined to make it better. The support from the babes on the bus is amazing

dementedma
Put the bed in a box.

MsHooliesCardigan
You don't have to step back at all. That's what we are all here for, to listen and support you.
doris9034
A very similar year to me. 😕 It doesn't help that my DP keeps encouraging me to drink to justify his drinking in the evening's. It's so hard to turn down that glass of wine when it's put in front of you.
AnnabelFan
I go for a glass of ice, lemonade and elderflower cordial . It's my fake gin. I also keep a few AF Koppaberg in the fridge.

Hi Annabel
Having sober tools in place and ready is really helpful.
Lots of apps/blogs/podcasts to support you.
Plan what you will do at the time you usually reach for a drink.
Walk,run,bath and have a nice af drink ready.
The amazing thing is all the things you "dont have time for "reading,relaxing etc you suddenely do have time for and they become your relaxation/wind down rather than alcohol.
I go straight in the bath when I get -there is no way Im going to the shop in my PJs
Goid luck -it does get easier .
There is a whole new life out there !

Thank you peppermint. MrsHoolie, I feel exactly the same. Alcohol is my coping mechanism.I don't know any other way.
I'm close to my daughter washing her hands of me and feel so awful right now but this feeling just makes me want to drink more to forget about it.

The trouble with using alcohol to cope is that you end up needing more and more to cope (tolerance)plus the more you drink the more you feel anxious,low ,jittery,have withdrawal and so you reach for a drink to feel better.
Are you drinking more than a couple of glasses a day ?Annabel
In which case medical help would be the advice -your GP can help plus thete are lots if helplines.

Well I had 2 glasses of wine last night. It's been 4 alcohol free nights for me this week though can't remember last time that happened.
Have great weekends everyone x