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Original poster

Hotel booking on DP's online banking

402 replies

Emboo19 · 30/08/2017 08:12

Just been onto the online banking to transfer some money from DP's account to our joint one (he knows I'm doing this). He's the one who signed up to the online banking but he gave me log in details and I can see the joint account and his own account, my own account is with a different bank. (Sorry going on a bit, just want to explain how I've seen what I've see).

Anyway, usually he just transfers any money I need from his mobile, but he's busy and said for me to log on and do it, I'm going holiday shopping today and needed some extra. Then this part I'm not proud of.....it's my birthday soon and I had a sneaky look at his recent transactions, to try see what he's bought me (I know that's really, really bad!)
I noticed last week there's a payment to a hotel, which is the same hotel he's staying in at the moment, he's working away. His hotel is paid for by his work, but they share so two men to a room. The charge is the same as a double room for one night at that hotel.

Is there any possible explanation (other than the obvious) that he'd have for booking his own room for a night? I really can't think of one right now, but then I'm struggling to think of anything other than killing him right now!
And how do I speak to him about it? Wait until he's home Friday or ask over the phone?

OP posts:
sparkleandsunshine · 31/08/2017 12:03

I just don't get it when someone throws their whole relationship and life away for one night if sex, he's an absolute idiot. Well done you for being so strong, you're amazing.

Though you should absolutely get to go away still for birthday and xmas with DD, not your fault he's a total twat x

emilybrontescorset · 31/08/2017 12:47

I find his attitude and that of his work colleagues quite sickening.
It's almost like organised prostitution
There's the thing though.
He s one of those men who believes fucking a prostitute or a one night stand doesn't matter.
That women are divided into different types, unlike men who are all entitled to enjoy sex.
I absolutely understand where you are coming from in saying that you would feel better if he had fallen in love with someone and was involved in a deep affair. At least that would make him more humane.
As it is he has shown you who he is.
He believes sex is sex and he will take the opportunity to have it when ever he wants.
Remember that as he works away the opportunity will always be there. His work colleagues encourage this behaviour too so unless he changed jobs he is unlikely to break from the mode of their acceptable behaviour.
Of course he can't say the to you can he?
He knows that would be the end for him.
So he will trot out the usual response of not understanding his own behaviour blah blah blah.
All the while he doesn't want you to end things because the woman(e) he is screwing are not wifey material, they are fucking material and the things of fantasy.

BeauMirchoff · 31/08/2017 12:55

@emilybrontescorset agree 100% with what you said.

And it is, indeed, sickening to know he's taken part in this.

PoppyH56 · 31/08/2017 12:58

Oh love, what a shitty outcome. Thinking of you Flowers

ikeadyounot · 31/08/2017 13:07

I'm so sorry you are going through this. What a cockwomble he is.

BackieJerkhart · 31/08/2017 13:07

This has reminded me of those footballers who have rooms booked after nights out specifically to bring women to. Eugh!! It's the whole "lads away will play" "different postcode doesn't count" culture isn't it. I was entirely unsurprised by his "confession" that this is what goes on in his group of workmates. I could tell from the OP what sort of a set up it was. Seen it before. It's grim.

pigeondujour · 31/08/2017 13:19

I feel so sad for you, OP. You sound so lovely and level headed.

Peaches77 · 31/08/2017 13:36

So sorry love. I remember reading other posts and you did have him on a pedestal...you are worth so much more than him. I wouldn't believe it was a one off I'd say that booking was made in a hurry go that night not as a payback. He is a liar keep remembering that he is not a nice guy who everyone likes he is scum

Janey369 · 31/08/2017 13:49

So sorry OP, you deserve so much better

hellsbellsmelons · 31/08/2017 13:56

I'm sorry OP.
This is so so crap.
Lean on family and friends.
Don't keep things bottled up.
Keep busy.
Try to eat, get sugary stuff down you to keep from crashing.
This will take time now.
A lot of time.
Take it hour by hour for now.
Flowers for you and of course a very UnMN ((((((HUG))))))

mirialis · 31/08/2017 14:01

Because of all the references to previous threads, I just went to have a look rather than asking what went on before. I didn't actually get to those threads but just read a couple of posts and realised that you are still so young (and surprised by how level-headed you are - sorry to be a patronising old moo, but compliments where they are due)!

Are you going to uni?

You and your DD have your whole lives ahead of you and while this is utterly shit right now, there is so much to look forward to.

SalamiSandwich · 31/08/2017 14:31

I remember you from previous posts, so sorry Emboo. Look after yourself. Flowers

babybigapple · 31/08/2017 14:34

So sorry OP.

FWIW I do think that it was a rushed booking too as otherwise he'd have maybe thought to put it on a credit card or something you can't see.

SandyY2K · 31/08/2017 14:47

It sounds like you come from a very close knit supportive family.
That's invaluable at a time like this.

It's good that you are making him tell people and face up to what he's done.

His DM sounds like a great woman.

Original poster
Emboo19 · 31/08/2017 14:49

You see I really don't think he's like that emily I know that seems like I'm defending him and I'm not. But he's never been like that, he hates how some of his work mates are with women and that's from before we went out. Maybe I'm ridiculously naive or just don't want to think that the last four years have been a lie, but if they have it's been a really convincing one and not just to me. My parents and friends can't believe he's capable of it, his own brother as just been to see me and he can't believe it.
I think he liked her/fancied her, I've seen her on fb and we actually look a bit similar. He's been flattered and a bit drunk and the opportunity was there and it was easy.

Luckily eating is never a problem for me hellsbells

I'm not sure I put him on a pedestal, a few posters have mentioned that. Certainly didn't think I did. Most people would say he was punching with me (not bragging at all) and I've never thought I'm not good enough, I've had moments of thinking he's not though.

I'm 19 (20 very soon) mirialis and yes I start uni in September.

OP posts:
greit · 31/08/2017 14:54

I've posted on some of your previous threads OP, you have a wise head on your shoulders and you're a decent person.

This man has a very poor moral compass, he's simply not good enough for you.

babybigapple · 31/08/2017 14:59

How have you seen her on Facebook if it was a random from the gym/night out where he was working? His story suggests he barely knew her name let alone for you to find her on FB

Original poster
Emboo19 · 31/08/2017 15:03

She works at the gym he's been going to while away. After the night together she friend requested him on fb he didn't accept. She asked him why not when she next saw him and he confessed he had a girlfriend, she didn't know and wasn't impressed. He found her for me and said I could message her if I wanted to confirm what had happened.

OP posts:
Original poster
Emboo19 · 31/08/2017 15:04

Well that's what he's told me babybigapple

OP posts:
FizzyGreenWater · 31/08/2017 15:09

What time of day was the room booking made OP?

BeauMirchoff · 31/08/2017 15:11

But do you really want to be talking to a woman that slept with your DP?
And would it change anything?
Honestly, I'm so pissed off for you. What a way to ruin everything! Big hugs Flowers

RonSwansonsMoustache · 31/08/2017 15:12

Ah emboo you poor thing Flowers

I'm really glad you have your parents and your partners' mother on your side.

Peaches77 · 31/08/2017 15:18

Yes Hun he probably has put on a very convincing show. A decent person does not shag another woman no matter how drunk or flattered they are. He knew what he was planning she works at the gym he's at...not to kick you while you are already down but this is not a one off.

I remember a previous post of yours about his friend 'dave' I think Dave in a weird way was trying to warn you about him...

Original poster
Emboo19 · 31/08/2017 15:18

Payment went through Tuesday evening 8.10pm Fizzy it does fit with what he's told me, they don't finish work until 6.30/7 then go for something to eat and back to the rooms. He says they were teasing him all Monday on the way to work and then again Tuesday at work and in the pub after, he got fed up said he was going back and he'd book them their room for the Thursday night. He has a credit card but only takes it if he's using it for a big purchase, so he had two debit cards with him one for our joint account and one for his own. He had about £70 in cash and said he thought it would be enough, but it was more so he used his card.

It does all seem to fit with what he's said. But it doesn't really make a difference, I'm not the forgiving type. My only concern right now is that we remain civil for DD and make the best arrangements for her.
I'll cry and hate him to my friends.

OP posts:
Peaches77 · 31/08/2017 15:21

The more you write about him the more I can't stand him sorry OP he's booked that room to use himself the silly bastard

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