I sent ex DP a video where DD 3 is playing in a t shirt and nothing else. He has reported me to a family friend who is a solicitor.

[fadetoblack]

I left DP in January this year and moved five hours away. Since then I try and send photos and/ or videos daily for him to still feel a part of her life.

Today at bedtime DD began to play a game with her soft toys and was really engaged and chatty. I thought it was a sweet moment. I recorded about 45 seconds worth and sent it to him.

About four hours later he sent me a text telling me never to record her semi nude again and has reported me to a solicitor who has "documented" the incident.

I am not on any social media and the video was only and would only ever be sent to him. When I was recording I didn't really notice that she had no knickers on. I was paying attention to her game and never directly focused on her lower half. Having watched it back there are about 9 seconds where you can see her vagina or bottom when she lifts her arms and her t shirt is pulled up.

I feel that he has over reacted and surely a simple message from him along the lines of " this makes me feel uncomfortable, please don't do it again" would have been suffice. I feel really hurt that he felt that this was necessary. There is no SS involvement with our family and I am not sure how to handle this when I speak to him tomorrow.

What do you think?

Do you feel better now, MrsBert? Any advice for the OP?

OP I agree with others - Just stop sending him stuff. Nothing good can come of it as he seems to be trying to 'catch you out'.

What everyone else said. Stop being nice, you are not obliged to do so and it clearly isnt being reciprocated. And screenshot his message. Its evidence of bullying. It might be useful one day.

I feel fabulous thanks Weebo.

What further advice do you think the OP needs about her dingbat ex?

I wondered how long it would be before someone pulled the OP up on her use of the word vagina.
Is that really relevant to the issue on which she is asking advice?
Give her a break.

My ex used to pull this kind of crap - threats of reports to the police, social Services, his solicitor, his barrister....fortunately, Imrealised early on it was all hot air and refused to allow him to get to me. I should say that he did eventually report me to social Services with a,hilarious list of oncerns including the baby had green poo, the 2 year old said there was food under the table and I had PND that I was refusing to medicate. All that happens is they called me, we discussed, they closed the case before it was open.

Just keep your wits about you. He may have a solicitor who is happy to take his money but the worst that can happen is a letter. Just stop sending photos and when he asks why (which he will), tell him you are concerned about his ability to sexualise a toddler in a tshirt which you have documented with your solicitor after taking advice from the NSPCC. That'll,shut him up!

Whenever I see Julia Somerville on the tv I remember that she got into some sort of bizarre trouble for photographing or videoing her children in the bath.

Well actually, yes it is pretty important.

Bearing in mind what a vagina actually is, telling people you sent someone a video in which your child's vagina is visible is a bit different to telling them her pubic mound was visible.

I am a family law professional and the mayhem caused by adult women's complete inability to name our body parts accurately is a serious issue.

They aren't shameful. Name them right.

Well it's lucky OP isn't just telling people she sent a video of her child's vagina, isn't it?

It's very clear from her description of the situation exactly what she was talking about.

And who said anything about them being shameful?

Sorry for the derail, OP but you have been bitchplopped. :o

What a horrid reaction from him, and one that would set my alarm bells ringing tbh. It was from you to him, not shared and not sexual in any remote way, yet he's made it that way. I wouldn't share anything with him again after that. But you've done nothing wrong here.

I would send him Clem's message.
Your ex is a scumbag.

Bitchplopped eh?

Righty ho.

Actually i wouks be telkung him i was very concerned rhat he had shown a private video of my daughter to some random bloke and was taking advice from MY solicitor about it.
Scare the crap out of him.

I 've seen a US film with exactly same scenario while ago. So, if your ex is malicious, you can/may get into unnecessary trouble. Don't send him any more! You've done nothing wrong. But they can deliberately misinterpret innocent image to something totally different. What the world is coming to these days...

1. he did not report it to a solicitor - why would anyone?
2. It has not been noted.

Why can I say this with confidence? because if he had the solicitor would have told him not to be so stupid, or, if the material really did cause concern would have forwarded it to the police or social services. Your ex is a nasty piece of work!

Oh FFS, we all know what she meant! People getting so sodding pedantic about a sodding foof need to get a life!!

Your ex is a prize prat OP, lets see how long it takes for him to complain he's not getting any photos or videos anymore!

OP presumably your ex is fairly annoyed you moved you and your DC five hours away from him. I would be very careful what you do, say or send him as he may well be get ready to take steps to have access to his DD.

We may know what she meant, but there is nothing wrong with pointing out gently that no, she didn't film her dd's vagina.

Can you not understand why it's a good idea to get it right?

😂😂 at Bitchplopped 😅

Knew someone would get their knickers up their vulva about vagina

Not just the ex who is a moron apparently!

MrsBert has a valid point, surprised it's not more obvious?

In a situation where an ex is 'logging' this stuff with his mate a solicitor, and trying to imply the OP has done something inappropriate by filming her child semi-naked and sending it to the child's father... well, isn't it worth ensuring that the OP doesn't use the wrong terminology by accident and hand her ex another reason to act like an arse?!

Clearly the context makes it obvious what was meant and we all know that, but I don't think the ex sounds like he's in the same mindset as a nice normal person.

It's a misnomer lots of people make and I wouldn't normally think it matters, but in situations where words might be used against someone, then it's worth pointing out so the OP can protect herself if she uses any terminology in communicating with the ex.

We see on here how ex's can behave so completely unreasonably and mount a campaign of picking apart normal family behaviour to 'make a case'. Although it can be clear that the ex is using the law and any legal processes to harass and score points against the mother of his child/ren, the whole family can be dragged throughout long and stressful legal processes in order for the partners vindictiveness to be exposed.

Sooo, better get protected now just in case. No harm in getting the teflon coated armpit out for any communications with him, then the OP can relax knowing she's blocking any ridiculous claims her ex might try and put together.

Oh Lordy, what's a 'teflon coated armpit'?! A very ridiculous typo there sorry

It's supposed to say 'teflon coated armour'... which is a pretty silly phrase to begin with really isn't it?!

Ahem, oops.

I like a teflon coated armpit.

He's sick, you haven't done anything wrong. That's her dad! Some people are so fucked up about nudity in their own kids. I would stop sending him anything at all like others have suggested.

Teflon coated armpit :o