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Original poster

It was all going so well until he said he voted Leave.

331 replies

Locotion · 23/08/2017 09:22

I am sure conflicting politics is a common problem. Shudder. For someone to vote for such a destructive step as flippantly as he said: "just to see what happens" concerns me somewhat.

Aside from that he is very nice. How does one decide whether to take things forward? I guess time will tell? But then.... isnt it more difficult to extract yourself when you are more physically and emotionally entangled.

Oh dear, I don't know what to do. Only had relationship with ex (long term marriage ) & flings. Not sure how things work.

I do like him. But... he voted Leave. And doesnt read. And has lived in thr same place with his family all 4 decades of his live. I read (or did before kids!) & have travelled a bit..... are we compatible?

Oh dear - I sound like I am looking down on his experiences but I guess they are just different ...

Eek

OP posts:
Oblomov17 · 23/08/2017 14:39

I agree with Gab. It is a truly complex issue.
Political experst are themselves divided.
Like fakenamefornow I read and read and read and researched. And I was still torn.

Is you are very far right or very far left, very conservative, or very labour, maybe you found it an easier decision.
I, for my sins, am quite 'middle' and found it an extremely difficult decision. And I'm not sure I made the right one.

but don't make me out to be flippant or not caring.

All those that say its a deal-breaker. And you'd be off. Really ?
Hmm

fakenamefornow · 23/08/2017 14:39

Do you know what the German referendums actually asked? How many where there?

fakenamefornow · 23/08/2017 14:44

Oblomov17

imo it should never have been put to a public vote. This isn't to say we should never leave the EU but to base that decision on a finger to the wind snapshot of public opinion, against almost all expect advice is fucking madness.

JK1773 · 23/08/2017 14:45

Tatiana who has poor judgement? And why do you feel you are entitled to say that?

And your comparison to Nazi Germany is outrageous. Exactly what I was talking about earlier. People who voted leave being compared to Nazi sympathisers! Who is the one being bigoted here?

Everyone is entitled to vote the way they feel is the right thing for everyone. I respect that some people can't be with a partner that votes differently to them, fine. Labelling someone that votes differently to you in the way you have is bigotry whichever way you look at it

TatianaLarina · 23/08/2017 14:50

Referendums - one was on withdrawing from the League of Nations - '33, one was on the merging of President and Chancellor - '34. Another was on annexation of Austria - '38 for example. The first being the most relevant.

BrandNewHouse · 23/08/2017 14:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TatianaLarina · 23/08/2017 14:52

I feel entitled to say it because everything's going as badly as expected - worse actually.

I accept some people may not have noticed, I accept that some people may find it hard to admit, soon it will be hard to avoid.

AvoidingCallenetics · 23/08/2017 14:57

Most leave voters are perfectly able to articulate why they made their particular choice. They might choose to no longer engage though because they are fed up of being called thick and racist or compared to Nazis.

histinyhandsarefrozen · 23/08/2017 14:58

DH and I didn't used to agree politically but one thing I'll say for Brexit - its brought us closer together. Grin

We are never more united than when we are despairing at the utter incompetence at this Govt's brexit non-plans. We use 'brexit' as a synonym for shit. We play 'spot the brexiteer'.

We try and have some fun now before his job goes - thanks Guys - and we're completely skint.

Slimthistime · 23/08/2017 15:03

Oblomov "All those that say its a deal-breaker. And you'd be off. Really"

Okay, I'm not the one in the situation but one of my best friends is Italian. No one is guaranteed to be able to stay. So there will be people who are going to have friends forced to leave. I can certainly see why that's a deal breaker. My parents are from a non EU country so I see that side too. It's hard. But it would have been a damn sight easier if the government had guaranteed the rights f people here already. My Italian friend is a doctor in a very specialist field, if she had to apply as a non EU she'd probably get in, but the possibility is that she will be deported. If I had a partner who voted to make that happen I can imagine thinking it might be time to part ways.

Ttbb · 23/08/2017 15:03

While I think that you terribly ignorant to consider a vote on brexit one way or another to be 'destructive' I would agree that voting for anything 'just to see what happens' is concerning. Either he didn't want to engage in a political discussion or he is an idiot.

AvoidingCallenetics · 23/08/2017 15:05

Things are going badly because the govt had their own agenda - DC wanted to silence the opposition within the party and BJ wanted to score points and position himself as a future leader. They were so out of touch with the concerns of the country that they never considered for a minute that there might actually be a leave vote. They asked a question and were woefully unprepared to deal with the result.
It's their job and they had no plan.
Perhaps things would be going better if all our politicians spent less time on power struggles and bickering amongst themselves and actually did the jobs for which they are paid considersble sums of money.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 23/08/2017 15:08

Wondered how long it would be before Nazi comparisons reared their heads. Hmm

histinyhandsarefrozen · 23/08/2017 15:08

Things are going badly because its not a good idea. I don't really know what Leave voters expected would happen. I suppose they thought, Farage, Davies, Gove and Rees-Mogg would take back control and it would all be fab.

tbf to this fella, I think 'just to see what happens' is one of the more thought out responses I've heard.

Oblomov17 · 23/08/2017 15:08

Slimline, my closest friend is Finnish. And I have many friends of different nationalities.
And I still don't see it as a deal-breaker.
But, true, none of them have been deported yet. How serious/realistic is that fear?

TatianaLarina · 23/08/2017 15:11

Except I didn't compare Leave voters to Nazis, I compared referendums. Surely we all have sufficient grasp of history to know that the German population as a whole were not all 'Nazis'.

Many if not most of the populace voted in those referendums with no idea of the agenda behind them or what the consequences would be.

Oblomov17 · 23/08/2017 15:11

"but the possibility is that she will be deported. If I had a partner who voted to make that happen I can imagine thinking it might be time to part ways."

Do you think that's the main reason someone voted?
Because they wanted someone/people/ an Italian doctor deported? That was their driving force.

I don't think that.

histinyhandsarefrozen · 23/08/2017 15:12

On the BBC today - 100 letters were sent to EU citizens telling them they were liable for detention. This was "an error". Must have been nice to get one of those.

Oblomov17 · 23/08/2017 15:13

There never should have been a referendum.
DC played a very dangerous game.
I sure wish there hadn't been one.

AvoidingCallenetics · 23/08/2017 15:15

Slim, I don't think that anyone from the EU who supplies needed skills to the country will be asked to leave. That would be cutting off our nose to spite our face, just as it would be for EU countries to deport Brits who contribute positively to their nations. However, you can't expect the govt to give assurances to EU citizens without knowing we get them in return for Brits in Europe. If your friend would get leave to remain here should she apply then why would she not just do that?

Slimthistime · 23/08/2017 15:19

FFS oblomov, I'm not suggesting someone would vote leave to get one indvidual deported!

As for "how realistic is it", the word "deport" has been used in parliamentary debate and there's the Finnish academic....do we believe the government made a mistake? Or is it a quick exercise in damage limitation?

WhollyFather · 23/08/2017 15:21

Divided... cheap shot. I voted leave and I'd put my intelligence and reading ability up against yours any day of the week. I just wouldn't date you.

As mass intelligence tests obviously didn't happen, the nonsense about leave voters being less well educated focussed on university attendance, which is not a fair test as far more people now go than formerly - not that most of their degrees are actually worth anything as an aid to finding a decent job, or proving brainpower.

Older people are more likely to have A levels or job-related qualifications - and to understand that leaving the EU is the right thing to do.

TatianaLarina · 23/08/2017 15:21

It's not as if Leave had a plan, you'd think they would in the circumstances. But no, they have no idea how it would work either.

The country voted for no plan as the voters failed to notice there wasn't one.

Brexit was never viable, it's not possible to produce a plan that would actually work. At the very least it would have needed to be a 10-20 year project.

TatianaLarina · 23/08/2017 15:22

^ That was a response to:

It's their job and they had no plan

FineOldCriminals · 23/08/2017 15:24

I couldn't countenance being with someone who thinks the Guardian is correct Confused Horses for courses, OP - if that's a deal-breaker for you, then let him back in the dating pool. Your OP, though, reads as though you think you're superior - personally, I couldn't be with someone who didn't read, and that would bother me more than if they were a Remainer Guardianista. But we're all different, thankfully.