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Original poster

Ok but why...Ow

151 replies

Sholiz74 · 20/08/2017 21:58

Just a quick question. I find it odd that the OW is so protected. Mine messaged me and called me to make sure I knew all the details...why are they untouchables MN?

OP posts:
Slowcookerheaven · 20/08/2017 21:59

I don't think they are.

But the logic is that she wasn't in s relationship with you. Your partner was. Or is. They owe you. She doesn't.

Loopytiles · 20/08/2017 22:00

Eh?

Offred · 20/08/2017 22:00

Ppl on MN usually point ^ out because posters are usually raging at OW while having panicky sex and doing the pick me dance with their cheating bastard.

Mulch · 20/08/2017 22:00

I don't think they are, but if people vent their animosity towards them which I usually the case, people will point out it's their partner that's lied and cheated. Save it for them she/he owes you nothing

Offred · 20/08/2017 22:00

If you read OP by OW MN is entirely different.

Blueemeraldagain · 20/08/2017 22:01

I've never understood this. It is possible to blame more than one person for something. Of course your partner has done the greater wrong but we really should be able to expect even a stranger not to treat their fellow man like that.

TooFew · 20/08/2017 22:01

What is it that makes you think they're untouchable OP?

Mrscropley · 20/08/2017 22:02

Don't forget now that they are openly the gf a vacancy for ow has been created. .

Original poster
Sholiz74 · 20/08/2017 22:03

I understand that but don't understand the way that the actions get absolved as they owe nothing....decent human behavior? Xx

OP posts:
mineofuselessinformation · 20/08/2017 22:03

They're not entirely blameless IMO if they know the man is married or in a steady relationship.
BUT, the majority of the blame still lies with the cheating partner.

Slowcookerheaven · 20/08/2017 22:04

What makes you think the actions are absolved.

Puffpaw · 20/08/2017 22:05

It's your husband that broke the vows, doesn't mean that ow didn't behave in shitty way, but your H should be the focus of your anger.

Puffpaw · 20/08/2017 22:07

Plus poor woman will prob end up with H and learn a harsh lesson about fidelity in the not too distant future.

Patchouli666 · 20/08/2017 22:09

They are bot breaking a commitment are they

Original poster
Sholiz74 · 20/08/2017 22:09

The way MN appears to remove all blame. Dont get me wrong i am not an idiot. Married 14 years and this hits but I just find it odd that the OW is not to blame in any way

OP posts:
TooFew · 20/08/2017 22:09

I don't know that their actions get absolved. They're just not the ones groveling on their knees begging for forgiveness I guess.

Slowcookerheaven · 20/08/2017 22:10

The ow didn't break a vow to you

AnyFucker · 20/08/2017 22:11

MN does not remove all blame from OW

What threads have you been reading Confused

theredjellybean · 20/08/2017 22:12

I actually think ow come in for dreadful abuse on mn.
Often see them referred to in appalling terms... Whore, bitch etc....
Infidelity is sometimes straightforward and sometimes very complex.
When people post about people they do not. Know in rl and refer to them in that manner I cringe.
It's good to offer support to the betrayed spouse, one of mn best things is the support given out but to effectively slag off the ow you do not know and have no idea of the details, context etc, I find odd.

MadMags · 20/08/2017 22:14

I don't think MN absolves OW of guilt.

But thread after thread is posted about how she's the devil incarnate and when someone points out "actually it's the sleazy bastard you married who cheated on you" it's all but he's sorry and we're working things out!

This need to skim over the fact that your husband was fucking someone else just baffles me.

He was stressed. We were going through a rough patch. She was all over him...

It's just embarrassing.

I think any woman who forgives a cheating scumbag is weak and pathetic.

Any woman who does right by herself and dumps his sorry arse has free reign to say whatever she wants about OW. Because at least her anger is also directed at the right person!

MyheartbelongstoG · 20/08/2017 22:15

I for one think an ow is just as responsible as the cheating partner.

They are both cunts in my book.

GaryNumanIsOlderThanGaryOldman · 20/08/2017 22:18

If OP puts all the blame on OW she stands more chance of being fooled twice by not so 'D'P
If an OW posts on here she usually gets zero sympathy

FritzDonovan · 20/08/2017 22:20

I also think they are equally to blame. OH may be grovelling and begging for forgiveness, OW generally doesn't give a shit at any point.

Ellisandra · 20/08/2017 22:21

I think you've been reading a completely different MN to me!

Have you never seen a post from an OW go down in flames for their self serving excuses?!

The things that I find are very "MN" are:

  • both have behaved badly
  • he has behaved worse
  • don't put all the blame on OW instead of him because you're desperate to justify staying with an arsehole
  • focus on your cheating OH not OW because he's the relevant one in your life

Sorry this is happening to you Flowers

Cate1362 · 20/08/2017 22:23

I can see why there is a hesitancy to blame the OW - but it really does depend on the situ.
I've been cheated on by a previous bf with a mutual colleague who pursued him relentlessly until she got her way.
BUT I've also been the OW completely unwittingly.
In fact, on that occasion he had three of us on the go at the same time (guy must have been an organisational genius) and now I'm friends with one of the other girls ten years later after we showed up at his place to collect our stuff together.
I guess the hesitancy is that on here you only hear one side of the story, and not every OW is a complete cow so it's best to re-focus that anger on the one person who has responsibility to each person in the situ.