#4 He's gone to Athens to be with her

[worldupsidedown]

So, that's it then. He's left to meet her in Athens. He's read my note but I've not had any reply yet

When you pack you leave for your love in Athens please take everything with you. PLEASE DO NOT RETURN

You checked out of this marriage when you decided to be with her instead of us and it is causing us too much pain to have you under our roof.

My daughter is too fragile to keep having you in our presence and I am trying to hold myself together for her.

Please do at least one honest thing and leave.

World - YOUR WIFE

Please don't rent somewhere for him.
If you check with your solicitor, you can find out what your allowed to do.
It may be that once he realizes your filling for a Divorce he leaves sharpish, and you can tell him you know the name of his partner and he either goes or you out her and let her be shamed for being a Mistress, this won't go down well with Greeks.

I've followed your posts, World, and seen you grow in confidence and strength. I don't think sending him off to live in a house with two females is a good idea though, for their sake. I don't know why, I just felt uncomfortable.

I would ring his mum and tell her the impact this is having on her grand daughter. Tell her about your letter and him going off to Athens. I would emphasise that whilst she will understandably be loyal to her son she must also be loyal to her grand daughter who is suffering. Remind her that her grand daughter is a child who needs protecting.

Ask her to ring him in Athens and talk sense to him. Perhaps a reality check in his honeymoon bubble might be the jolt he needs.

I would put all his belongings in bin bags and rearrange the house to suit yourself.

That could be a good idea, Bambam.
A phone call from his Mum reminding him that he is breaking up his daughters home might dim the shine.

I would urge caution World. You have made it clear what you and your daughter need at the moment to be able to move on. Don't spend YOUR weekend packing his stuff and renting him a place. Stuck to the legal route. Issue your divorce papers. Say little to MIL other than cautioning her to not give your DD hope that he is coming back.

Take your DD out somewhere nice this weekend.
Be kind you yourself.

Now is the time to do what is right for you and your dd. You know he will be away for at least the w/end . Maybe, just to make sure he definitely isn't just at work today- look on line and book a night away for Saturday in a lovely hotel just for you and dd. It doesn't have to be miles away ( I know your have to get someone for the dogs ) and just get away from the house. Have a lovely meal and a leisurely breakfast the next morning before going back home again sometime Sunday. You might find a few hours away from the house will help with any decisions.

Oh dear, there really is no going back now.

He's been brutal but I think he left the marriage a while ago but not the home.

Try to channel your anger and grief into something positive. Definitely start your course as it will be good to have something to enjoy and aim for. Why don't you and DD go out for a nice day on sat, have afternoon tea somewhere glam and watch a show. Once her BF is back she'll want to see him to enjoy your time together now.

If it makes you feel better pack his things and put them in his car or the garage. I'd also change the locks as you lost your keys remember!!

Gutted for you but now you know the truth and can concentrate on your future without him X

You now have nothing to lose by filing for divorce now.

Take action today. You will get a poorer settlement if your child has left school is independent. You have not currently got the qualifications or experience to support yourself financially- you need a good settlement that provides for you now.

Take back control of your life. You need to call the shots now.

Please don't change the locks or do anything that is going to play into his hands. I would press on with the divorce as a matter of urgency, so that he knows you mean business. I agree with the PP that he could be hedging his bets in case the weekend doesn't work out. You need to burst his smugness bubble and make him see that this is serious.

I suspect at the moment he's very much in the mindset that it's his money, that he earned, and that he'll have to throw you a few quid until DD leaves school. He needs to understand how wrong he is.

Totally agree to getting the divorce started today. Sieze the initiative. Can you get assets frozen whilst divorce proceedings are underway?

Totally agree to getting the divorce started today. Sieze the initiative. Can you get assets frozen whilst divorce proceedings are underway?

Get the divorce rolling, you need him separate from you. Noes the time to get angry ...

Speak to SHL today file for divorce naming YOW. As PP said wont go down well with Greek's who are family orientated.

FDH doesn't have to know how you found our YOW's name.

Don't do anything with his belongings or locks.

Doubt he's got any conscience at all but he will have your note to him in his subconscious.

not our out YOW's name

Hi world you are doing brilliantly! So sorry you are having to go through this though. Your dh sounds so foolish. And you sound really steadfast and strong, despite all that is being thrown at you.

I'm sorry, I haven't read every post of all the threads (on holiday with dodgy Internet connection) so apologies if this has already been covered. Just delurking to say that it's great you have such brilliant support on here but be careful op. Some of the details you have posted about ow and your situation could be identify in rl. Ow, or friends of ow, could be reading this and relaying what you are posting, so do be circumspect about what you say. Good luck op

I am not a lawyer, but a quick google suggests it would not be advisable to specifically name a co-respondent on the petition for divorce on the grounds of adultery. Here is what the first UK website I found says about it:
Not naming the Co-Respondent usually makes divorce process easier

I don't think you should arrange accommodation for him. You don't owe him anything. He can sort his own living situation out himself!!

Stay strong OP we're all here for you

Sorry, meant to say, but obviously, take the advice of your SHL on this, as on everything else.

Good luck and keep strong. You are better off without him.

I hope he has a terrible time, gets food poisoning and sun stroke.

I'd put everything he owns in his car.

Grab a big roll of bin bags. Put all the stuff he has in his room in them and put them in the garage or an outbuilding where they won't be ruined (tempting I know).

Tell MIL you want him to use the spare room at hers as it's too distressing to continue living under the same roof. Once facts are agreed with MIL text him to tell him where to find his stuff.

If MIL refuses (and I doubt she will) then find a few options where he can live and send them to him and say he has to choose one or you'll choose it for him.

He didn't take the mutton dressed as ram new shirts... maybe leave them artistically arranged on top of the bin bag pile.