DP's boss sending inappropriate messages

[Wanderlust1984]

Ok so I've always got on well with DP's boss. Meet him regularly for drinks (with DP obviously) and we always have a good laugh, but never anything in it. My DP left yesterday for a week away working, obviously DP's boss knows this. Then this morning he's started sending me very suggestive messages, how do I handle this? If I tell DP, it will obviously make things very difficult for him at work, but if I don't tell him and he finds out, he'll see it as a huge betrayal?? Stuck! Please advise lovely ladies xx

Block him.

How does he have your number?

You know what you need to do. Do you really need a thread.

Just don't answer, block him

Why wouldn't she need a thread?

is there any possibility at all that DP's boss has sent them to wrong number?

Tell DPs boss to fuck right off. Tell DP. If it's a large company with an hr dept, your DP can raise a grievance.

Oh and ugh

There's always one isn't there I created a thread for advice on whether or not to tell DP? Why would you reply to a thread that you didn't believe needed created in the first place?

Serious? Respond saying these messages aren't appropriate and then block without waiting for a response. And tell your husband

He doesn't have my number, it's via social media. Definitely not got the wrong number unfortunately.

Do not keep this person's shameful behaviour a secret by further covering it up to anybody. Your partner's boss has well and truly abused your trust here and knows too that your man is now away hence the timing of these messages.

Maybe screenshot before you block actually in case your husband does bring a gievance in future

Tell your DP. And ensure it's reported to his company's HR, with copies of the messages. Your DP's boss should be the one dealing with the fallout of his own creepy actions, not for you to be forced to keep his grotty little secret or your DP to suffer. Good luck x

I also believe that sending such offensive messages via social media is also a criminal offence. Its certainly been done to further unsettle you and to that end it has worked.

Oh god yes tell your husband! Keeping it a secret does nothing but protect sleazy boss. Be honest with your partner, message the guy back say you are happy in your marriage and you aren't interested then block him. Anything else then your husband goes to HR.

Block and tell your husband now!

Tell your DP!

Tricky one. On balance probably best to tell your partner. But be prepared that he may not react how you expect.

What do his messages say?

Thank you all for the advice. I will tell him. I'm gutted, we all got along so well and him and my DP have been friends for such a long time Part of me wonders if DP had put him up to this to gauge my reaction!!

Are you being serious about that last sentence, OP?

It's not a criminal offense to send suggestive messages. Don't be daft.

It would probably get him in pretty deep shit at work though. That was the reason i asked how he got your number - if he'd accessed them from work records he'd be in the shit.

Not really. Just can't understand why he'd do this when he's such good friends with dp and he knows I'm crazy in love with him

If you really think your partner put his boss up to this, you have far bigger problems than just your DP's boss being an idiot.

Whatever the case, screenshot all of the messages and send them to your partner.