Bathsheba - you also kept your dignity 
World - mediation isn't therapy and it isn't counselling. It's about division of assets. You look at everything together and make decisions together. There's less back-and-forth negotiation as there would be with solicitors (which makes the process cheaper).
Take a snap shot of your life as it is now, with some predicted expenses for the future. Go through a Years bank statements of spending, accounting for everything you spend and need to spend to maintain the life you have now. From haircuts to Christmas presents to chicken feed. When you present his at mediation you have a working document.
List all your assets, houses, cars, again, everything with any value, be it a piano, an expensive collection, anyway which could b sold for any value. (Not that it needs to be sold, again, its painting a picture).
Pension documents - I got a pension advisor in and we divvied it up. It's about what feels fair, not what you are entitled to. I could have got more, but it didn't feel right.
XH paid for all this. And the divorce. (He didn't want to give me funds from a pit of money he had so said he'd pay. It cost twice as much and he would have been better off sharing the savings). XH was financially abusive and told me as I hadn't contributed financially, I shouldn't be entitled to anything. Wifework has no financial value, mediation is an opportunity for you to give it some. Of course, he had the big career, nice home, large family - all the things I created, and support I gave to him - the things that gave him pride and stroked his ego. Yet he didn't value them. 
It hurts all the more to be told 'it didn't mean anything'. Throw your family away for from he love of your life - you can make some sense of that, but for someone he hardly knows? 
such a loss.