DW's gone away for a few nights...

[HoppyDaddy]

... and I'm glad.

We had the biggest bust up of our relationship at the weekend. It nearly came to me being thrown out.

Time apart will give us time to miss each other again.

There, that's better.

Orville. Can I have some popcorn please?

DW just called me. She loves me again .

I knew she couldn't hold out for long...

Yes, but do you love her again? Have you sorted out your feelings about the one thing that crops up in the row? (and I agree - she shouldn't be pulling that stunt).

And has your few days absence meant that you have regained your....interest in her?

Good luck - glad she lurves you.

Only had the one night away so far, two more to go.

I am much calmer and positive towards her today. Last night has given me space to clear my head, it felt very claustrophobic being around her constantly after the row. When she told me she loved me, this morning, I had to fight a great big smile and I happily said I loved her too, very much.

I still don't agree with her comments but I'm happy to make plans and move forward again.

Good for you HD.

Have been lurking as similiar discussions happen in our household.....

I hope it can all be sorted happily. You sound very mature about it all - and very loving.

Thanks, Blu. And, for the record, AnAngelWithin.

Believe me, I wasn't at all mature about it following the row. The main point of the row was that she accused me of plotting to cheat on her. After two days of no talking, she said "I knew there was no intent on either side. I didn't mean it". That and the other comments I mentioned earlier had me desperate not to spend anymore time in the house with her. Practicality took over, though.

It's the 'what's mine is yours until we have a row' that is our refrain. Not always cash, but mutual support in childcare, that sort of thing.

Can never see you plotting to cheat, tbh. Hope she gets her head examined while she's away!

Not really - actually, she sounds great, the way you usually talk about her.

Wish more men would be honest about behaving temporarily immaturely

She started on the "I've two kids in this house, with you not thinking for yourself". She had to agree with "well ive got two kids too, as you do fuck all to help with the house of dd".

I hate that what's mine is yours when I feel like it bullshit. Like a threat waiting to be carried out.

Yes. It's hard not to use it when not on best behaviour.

I own the vast majority of equity in our house, DH has now claimed top martyr status in having reduced his job to do ore childcare. I think he uses his leverage more than i do...but partnership is what we should be working with, not a running tally of resources and power.

It sounds as if you two are back on track now, anyway. What day is she home? Fri Eve?

She'll be home Saturday morning / afternoon, depending on how drunk she gets!

I'm hoping to send her to Paris for a weekend, with her mate once my windfall arrives.

HD that sounds lovely. Though I think you two should go to paris together!

hope things improve for you both.

Nah, she deserves the breaks. She NEVER goes out, where as I go out every few weeks. If I go further than half an hourse drive, I usually stay in a cheap hotel. I'm happy for her to go out.

Of course it sounds lovely....I AM lovely...

if you go out you stay in a hotel????????????

Yes, np. Cos I drink, therefore can't drive home and a cab would cost me £40+.

well has he spilles?

Mmm agree, perhaps staying out in hotels overnight is why she thinks you were plotting to cheat on her.

TBH, I think I'd rather my dh spend £40+ on a taxi than stay in a cheap hotel.

yep- staying out in hotels is odd...... I would be pissy about that.

i would be VERY VERY suspicious if dh stayed in a hotel every time he went out

surely you can stay with mates?

or you say you dont go out often at all, surely £40 every so often is ok

i love a happy ending !!

No, no, no. You're all missing the point. THAT has nothing to do with plotting to cheat. I stay at hotels at HER insistance.

Ok, here is why I was accused of plotting to cheat:

We have a 22yr old childminder. DW has always told me to invite her over for dinners/ takeaways and stuff to make her feel part of the family. Also that if I need to ask her anything to just text her, DW didnt mind as she knows she trusts me completely and I have nothing funny in mind. So, I have done so. I invited her to join me next time I was getting a takeaway as there'd be plenty leftover and it would be wasted if not eaten. DW was happy with this, also happy as I always tell her what texts are about.

Last thursday, out of nowhere, DW explodes at me. "Why would I be happy with all that? What makes you think I'd be happy with that? You're a married man, she's a young girl, how does that look? You're a fucking idiot, if you cheat on me, that's it. Carry on, go and fuck her, see if I care. Now fuck off and sort yourself out, this is my home" etc etc.

My response was "you told me to text her and invite her for dinner. you've been telling me you're ok with it for over a month. If you're not ok with it, how do I know if you say you ARE ok with it."

Her answer to it all..."I was testing you". Throughout our relationship, she's always told me how completely she trusts me. Nothing has happened lately to change this.

Incidentally, I have no problem with her giving marriage and sex advice to a male friend of hers. Apparently that's irrelevant.

There, now kill me.

np re: hotels. I dont stay in a hotel EVERY time I go out. If I go out locally, I walk home from the pub, even if an hours walk. Sometimes I meet up with old workmates an hours drive away. We all get hotel rooms and then I drive back in the morning.

I wouldnt have time to cheat as I spend all evening texting and calling her.

you invited the cm over to share a takeaway with you? you dont say "to share a takeaway with us"

why does dw insist you stay in hotels?

oh you must be a right bundle of laughs on a night out then HD..