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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DH holding me to ransom

134 replies

Goingfuckingbonkers · 06/08/2017 13:37

I've nc'd for this as it's quite outing.

DH, DC and I moved abroad a few months ago. This was a long dreamed of opportunity for both of us. We have had numerous issues throughout the marriage and naively I thought if we could fulfil our dream of moving abroad we might finally be happy.

It didn't work. Our relationship finally broke down while we were away and we came to an agreement that he should return home and move back into our house (which we had rented out) get his old job back and we would try to work through our issues with some distance between us. He came home.

DC and I stayed for a few weeks on our own, everything was going well, they were settled into schools etc. We had to return home for family wedding and a few other important things. DH picked us up from airport.

That night, I looked in my bag to find the DC's passports gone. DH had taken them and told me I could return to our new home abroad without DC. He has since kept hold of the passports and is not budging.

I have flights booked for this coming week for me and DC to go back as per our original agreement. He says the DC cannot go back. He is effectively holding me to ransom here.

Please give me advice, I am desperate.

OP posts:
Sunshinegirl82 · 17/08/2017 15:41

I think you need to access legal advice as soon as possible. Is there equity in the house? Some solicitors will delay payment of fees until a divorce settlement is finalised if they know there will ultimately be some money to pay them. I think you need to instigate divorce proceedings ASAP and ask whether there is anything that can be done to force your DH to provide interim support until you get a job/the finances are sorted.

Do you have any support from family at all?

Sistersofmercy101 · 17/08/2017 16:09

Hi OP I've read your thread with horror, your husbands behaviour is unconscionable! Please get legal help as soon as possible - try The Rights of Women (Google and it should come up) , or C.A.B citizens Advice B - although they're pretty busy, so half hour consultation with a solicitor might be more expedient.
This (the situation your husband has engineered and forced you into) can't be kosher legally speaking?! 😮 it certainly isn't to anyone with a conscience! Good luck 🍀

GaryNumanIsOlderThanGaryOldman · 17/08/2017 16:15

I would also repost in Legal and in Living Overseas. Flowers

Intransige · 17/08/2017 19:49

freedomprogramme.co.uk/

Intransige · 17/08/2017 19:50

This might help OP? He's trying to control you.

KarmaNoMore · 17/08/2017 21:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Starlight2345 · 18/08/2017 00:01

Can I suggest you go to the CAB....

GlitteryFluff · 18/08/2017 07:48

What a complete arse with the 'both responsible' shite. No, you'd have an income and be able to pay for stuff if you were both sticking to original plan. He's sabotaged that.

Goingfuckingbonkers · 18/08/2017 16:17

Exactly glittery!
Have been to CAB and have requested a reconsideration of the universal credit decision. If this fails again I'll have to wait a month and try again. Hopefully I'll have a job by then..

OP posts:
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