dh likes wanking better than sex!

[wishing1]

My dh would rather wank himself than have sex with me. He acts like sex is a chore and I'm the one doing all the work! He knows that I want sex more than he does but he doesn't know that I know he's wanking. He leaves behind evidence in the trashcan and he makes all the disgusting noises from the bathroom, I am home and he doesn't even consider me. We usually have sex twice per week and he wanks in between, it used to be more but now he likes to wank more, I'm so pissed and he blames me, he says he's either too tired or I wasn't nice enough to him that day and I know the real reason is because he did hisself and is no longer in the mood. WTF do you do with that? It's getting worse!

Go to therapy.

Message withdrawn

he wont go, I have been going alone.

I am thinking of cheating

Actually the real reason is that he is a lazy bastard and can't be arsed putting the effort in with you.

So withhold sex, don't clear up his mess even if it starts to smell, don't touch it. Then after a month of this you give him an ultimatum, he either sits down and talks to you about this or you step up your offensive.

ask him why
at the risl of sounding like a friends episode...does he know that you know?

without being crude..would you not wank him.

Cheating is not the answer. 2 wrongs don't make a right.

You either want this to work or you don't.

But stop clearing up after him ffs! Stop having sex with him when he feels like it!

A month without won't kill you and it'll make your point known.

Maybe then he will be willing to talk. Otherwise he'll keep doing it because you let him.

He doesn't but I've hinted, when he says he's too tired and not in the mood at bed time, I say, I know exactly why you are too tired and he just rolls over and ignores me! And he is lazy bastard because he wont get on top and he wont do any foreplay ever for me even though I've asked

It sounds as if he'd rather have a tug because he gets the pleasure but none of the extra work of pleasing a woman...typical bloke!!! Have you tried talking to him and saying you know what he does and how it impacts you? Communication and all that.

Failing that, go to Ann Summers and come home with the biggest vibrator you can find and march past him into the bedroom with it and when he gets all offended, say well you do it, why not me??

crispy, if he can't be arsed servicing her, why should she see to him?

I hate it when we have to do all the hard work when it comes to sex. Why let the lazy bastards have their own way all the time?

I would wank him and I have before lots of times. Twice a week is if I initiate it, if I don't then god knows when it would happen and not without effort from me.

I'm surprised you've let it get this far.

You are letting him get away with it you know. Why?

er sorry, but why bother to have sex with someone as selfish as that? Surely you could give yourself a better time than he is giving you.

I would love to come home with a big dildo and a playboy magazine, the magazine would be the kicker!

You know what the answer is wishing1.

he wont discuss anything that has to do with sex because he is embarassed and says he wont talk about it!!

Good point Rhubarb!

what is the answer?

So?

He's a selfish arse then isn't he? Now what are YOU going to do?

withhold sex from him.

A big vibrator! Make sure it has length AND girth!!!

The answer is that he is selfish and are you going to put up with it or are you going to go on the offensive? You are going to therapy by yourself, he refuses to talk to you, cheating is not an option, so you need to start taking drastic action.

No sex, no clearing up after him. You go on strike.

ok, so now I need to buy the biggest vibrator they make and loudest, our spare bedroom is right next to ours!