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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

dh likes wanking better than sex!

112 replies

wishing1 · 27/03/2007 21:16

My dh would rather wank himself than have sex with me. He acts like sex is a chore and I'm the one doing all the work! He knows that I want sex more than he does but he doesn't know that I know he's wanking. He leaves behind evidence in the trashcan and he makes all the disgusting noises from the bathroom, I am home and he doesn't even consider me. We usually have sex twice per week and he wanks in between, it used to be more but now he likes to wank more, I'm so pissed and he blames me, he says he's either too tired or I wasn't nice enough to him that day and I know the real reason is because he did hisself and is no longer in the mood. WTF do you do with that? It's getting worse!

OP posts:

Dinosaur · 27/03/2007 22:03

vinegar stroke?

Rhubarb · 27/03/2007 22:04

wishing1, if you are for real then you've had some really good advice on here. What's the problem?

Original poster

wishing1 · 27/03/2007 22:04

I wish he was cleaning the bath vigoruosly instead of polishing the pewter vigorously.

OP posts:

Original poster

wishing1 · 27/03/2007 22:05

well, here is the solution.. he wont talk to me about it so I have to withold that's the only answer and if that doesn't work I need to get out of the relationship because he doesn't give a shit either way.

OP posts:

HoppyDaddy · 27/03/2007 22:05

So, wishing1. Instead of ignoring all this advice, are you going to take some of it?

Hang on, do you need sex 3 times a day?

Rhubarb · 27/03/2007 22:07

wishing1 - what do YOU want to do about it then if our advice is so shit?

tiredemma · 27/03/2007 22:07

my dp told me that his old boss used to paint his left hand fingernails red, sit on his hand to numb it and then have a wank with numb, painted finger hand- kind of giving the affect that its being done by someone else.

do many men do this? i found this quite odd- but who am i to judge?

Original poster

wishing1 · 27/03/2007 22:08

No, I would like it every other day, but since that can't happen with him, I could settle for when he needs a wank and I am home, let me wank him. If I'm not home, he can wank himself, it's not asking alot, but none of that will happen either because he wont talk to me about it he's too shy and stupid. So I will have to play mind games with him and just act like I'm not interested in having sex either, it's the only solution.

OP posts:

HoppyDaddy · 27/03/2007 22:08

tiredemma, your dp was lying. that's an old billy connolly joke.

crispyduck · 27/03/2007 22:09

tiredemma -pmsl

HoppyDaddy · 27/03/2007 22:09

wishing1, instead of just thinking that you appearing when he's about to have a wank is the solution...how about MAKING him talk to you.

The old, don't ignore me. don't ignore me. don't ignore me. don't ignore me. don't ignore me. do you have any respect for me? don't ignore me.

Original poster

wishing1 · 27/03/2007 22:10

your advice is great and I appreciate it. I would love to just talk in the open about it but he leaves the room and says he's done talking so that wont work, I have to act disinterested like him and hope he bounces back, if not I have to find someone who is interested in pleasing me as well. As far as the painted hand OMG I've never heard of that, I know that he doesn't paint his nails that is soooo not normal.

OP posts:

MrsGumby · 27/03/2007 22:10

This brilliant wanking thread has given me the opportunity to tell the world (well, MNers) what happened to me the other day. Was tidying car the and noticed in glove compartment a small jar of pale yellowish liquid that looked like sour milk when it separates. Asked DH what this was and he said "Oh, that's where I put it!" What, said I. "The jizz sample that I needed to take to the the GPs so that they can test that the vascectomy's worked". Turns out that the disgusting bastard had left it in the car to stagnate for two weeks. Sorry if I've put any of you off your Horlicks but just had to get it off my chest.

tiredemma · 27/03/2007 22:10

is it. Do you know what though- I dont think he realises it was a joke hoppydaddy. He was exasperated when he told me.

glad its a joke- i found it a bizarre thing to do.

( you have never tried it Hd?

Rhubarb · 27/03/2007 22:12

Mind games could force him to face the issue.

Or you threaten to discuss it with his mates.

Or make an appointment with one of his fellow GPs to discuss it and let him know.

You do whatever it takes to get him to TALK to you. If he refuses then yes, you have to face the fact that either you carry on like this or you leave.

HoppyDaddy · 27/03/2007 22:13

I have done the lying on your arm thing. NEver painted a face on my hand though.

wishing, if he wont talk to you, he clearly has no respect for you or your feelings. WHY do you even want to fuck this man? WHY do you want to be WITH this man? Does he show any signs of love or respect in other ways?

moondog · 27/03/2007 22:17

I had a bf who practiced Tantric yoga with sole goal of being able to suck himself off.
He succeeded,although he never gave me a demo.

Something Important in the City these days.

Rhubarb · 27/03/2007 22:18

All men try that.

moondog · 27/03/2007 22:18

Really?
The rest of mine never did (or weren't flexible enough.)

HoppyDaddy · 27/03/2007 22:20

I don't want to taste my own cock, thanks. Never have. Funnily enough, it's one think I can leave to guesswork.

moondog · 27/03/2007 22:21

HD,you are on form tonight.
Well,if you don't want to taste it,why should anyone else?

Huh? Huh?

HoppyDaddy · 27/03/2007 22:23

It's like mushrooms. I don't like em but dw does...

moondog · 27/03/2007 22:24

So you like to think....

HoppyDaddy · 27/03/2007 22:25

Hey, she tells me and makes the right noises, so who am i to question it?

My ego knows better than to question!

tinkerbellhadpiles · 27/03/2007 22:28

Oh morningpaper: 'Maybe he's cleaning the bath REALLY vigorously'

Presumably with Cillit Bang?

Right Wishing1. Here's your solution:

Superglue his hands together

Now he only has his tongue and I bet he's not that bendy.

I'm sorry, if you are serious this isn't funny. But actually yes it is.

My ex-husband left tons of used kleenex on the bedroom floor when I went round to collect my stuff unexpectedly after I'd left. Really confirmed my reasons for leaving

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