Anyone left their DP/DH knowing it was for the best but still being in love with them?

[Ifonlyhewould]

How did you get through it? Was it really for the best?

Me too Mel, i love to see the washing on the line. And i absolutely love having a shower, being all squeaky clean then getting into fresh washed bedding, after its been on the line. Ooooh, the indulgence
Yes, DD is enjoying the holidays, we have spent most of the time reading and making jewellery with her bead set. She just asked me this morning how many days before she goes back to school, so i don't know if she is getting a little bored with me . I think we will have to get the baking stuff out tomorrow, she loves licking the dish.

Hi tanee
Just read your update on mel's thread. Glad you had a good weekend and that things are starting to look up a little bit.
Well i for one am not planning on cooking today, i just don't have the energy. It's going to be an easy tea today. We will have to think of an inventive way to use up your bay leaves.

hello hello

well in anticipation of my night out tonight we've all just been out for lunch and I had a glass of wine and I feel really tipsy

either it's just topping up my alcohol levels from the weekend, or I've turned into a complete lightweight!

so between being tipsy and being on MN I'd say my boss has pretty much no chance of getting any work out of me this afternoon!

that's a shame too as we have a 5pm deadline for some really important payments to be made and I am on the authorisation list - I think I'll just authorise the lot and get back to the pub!

I've often thought about what I'll say when the day comes that IT have been monitoring my excessive MNing and I get called into the office! I think I'll just print my thread out and say, this is what I've been through, either let me use MN to get me through the day, or I'll happily stay at home in bed if you prefer! I'm sure they'd then understand it's essential

mel that was a lovely post. hopefully we can all have our wishes come true and be happy in the end xx

I think that we will all be happy in the long run, no matter how we do it or how it happens because thats the kind of women we are. We choose happiness over sadness, we choose to see the good as well as the bad and we choose to fight for what we want and believe in rather than just take the hump and walk away. I think happiness is waiting for us all

So, MLS, you having the 'authority' to 'authorise' i think you should extend that 'authority' and 'authorise' yourself back to the pub! Enjoy it while you can, you deserve it

thank you I will!

although am I now getting a bit of a name for myself with regards to drinking!!

Don't go out for months and then all the nights out come at once! Not that I'm complaining of course!

My worst drinking moment was when I took dd to visit dp when he still lived in Wales (pre-depression). Had QUITE a lot of Cava and somewhere about 2am started insisting to dd that we were living in the Truman Show. Don't remember this and can't imagine what I meant by it - but dd has never let me forget it - she said I was 'really scary'. Needless to say, with me as a bad example, dd shows no signs of becoming one of those drunk-binging teenagers - says she prefers coke (the liquid variety..)

Think I might start a thread - what have you done that REALLY embarrassed your children! Any takers?

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Hi Ifonly - am missing the "he" out on purpose as it seems to me you're putting into practice missing it out for real! Sounds like you're doing lots of lovely things with DD - I'm sure she'll miss you loads when she's back at school

Your last post was quite inspiring - one of the reasons I think this thread is such a great touchstone for so many MNers is that it demonstrates the true strength of trying to face a situation head-on rather than run away from it. Do keep inspiring us but don't forget to ask for support if you need it

MLS - you alkie you I knew you would appreciate my "message deleted" joke even if it missed everyone else [snubbed emoticon]

Ginnedupmummy - your situation sounds truly awful. I haven't read the other thread referred to (maybe you could link me?) but it does sound like you're doing the right thing to me FWIW - there's only so many times you can talk the talk - sometimes you have to be prepared to give a real ultimatum in order to get the desired result. How are you coping now? Has he come back? What do you feel your future is with this man if he doesn't stop drinking? I'm sorry you had such an awful Easter

Melminx - you're all so industrious you make me feel dead lazy Anytime time you feel like tackling the chinese laundry lurking in my spare room you're more than welcome [not joking emoticon] !!

Hello Ladies

Ginnedupmummy - i'm so sorry you are going through this, it must be really difficult for you. I am wishing you all the strength in the world to cope with this. You must feel as though you are in a no win situation, if you had stayed with DH you are stressed and unhappy because of his drinking but even now you have told him it's over you are still suffering. Love is such a powerful emotion and it's one that just refuses to disappear no matter how difficult a time we go through. Feel free to continue loving your DH, don't beat yourself up for doing so. At this moment in time you have simply chosen to love yourself more.
Your DH will have to reach absolute rock bottom before he turns a corner. He has to do that himself but, theres no reason why you can't be waiting around that corner for him when he has got himself back on track.

Hi Cashncarry

I will do my utmost to keep inspiring you, it will be my pleasure.
Thank you for your lovely words

Hi all,

Ginnedup - I am so sorry, I really feel for you. After I confiscated dp's bottle the weekend before last, saying it was coming between us, he wanted to end our relationship - which just proved the truth of what I'd said. If your dh still prefers the bottle to you, you do have to make a stand - for your own & your children's sake. But that doesn't mean that you stop loving him, and you can let him know that you're still there for him - IF he wants to change. Hope it works out - let us know.

Ifonly - you're an inspiration! You've kept up all our spirits - How are you?

Hi Tanee

I'm doing ok thank you. My problems are bearable and livable with compared to some of the ladies on here. At least i have some control over my situation which, i can exercise by avoiding contact with DP. My heart is going out to all those who need it.
XX

Hi everyone, i can't believe i am off on the hols and can't find the time to mnet, can't wait to get back to work i feel like i'm missing a limb ! LOL MLS i dreading that moment too think i will just have to hold my hands up to the fact that i spend more time mneting than working . How is everyone? IOHW that post you wrote yesterday summed it all up. How was night out MLS?

Glad you're ok. I agree, some of us are going through hell - it really does help put things in perspective.

My dp's had to keep off alcohol for several hours as he's having tests for high blood pressure - and seems to be drinking a little less generally. He's been very nice to me since last week and is, I think, a bit scared about how all this is affecting his health & our relationship. Still no work though - roll on his next job in July!

Hi Lilyloo, glad your hols are fun! I couldn't take any time off as we're understaffed and the phones have been hell. Wonder how any of us get any work done with MN to seduce us at the touch of the 'bookmarks' button ??

Now I really must pop out and work off those chips I had for lunch with a walk to the bank!

Hi lilyloo shame on you for neglecting MN!! Holidays are no excuse

So Tanee, when your DP is working does he manage to give up the drink compeletely?

Just goes to show staying at home with the dc's is much more time consuming than going off to work i guess.

Oh yes! I used to work 2 days a week before i got ill. I used to go to work for a rest I had forgotten how demanding dd was until this wesk, she has certainly kept me on my toes!

PS who am i sending my ironing to ? Have tons of the stuff after being away, how can four people generate so much stuff we only went away for three days! I hate doing this more than anything else so decided to do some mneting instead

Melminx is taking in ironing lilyloo. I love ironing but have got rather a large pile myself due to concentrating all energies on dd then having none left at end of day

ok will send it there. Just a quick ques how did you get on the CAT thing ?

I clicked on the envelope next to the exclamation mark on the name bar thing. It takes you to another screen where you can subscribe.

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Hi

Ive just found your other thread and have ledt you a message.

You are being wonderfully brave and, for what it's worth i think you are doing exactly the right thing. You have been through such a lot recently, the break from DH can only do you good. As may the holiday if you decide to go. By then you may feel like a different person. You will have a lot of your strength back and you should be able to enjoy the holiday.

I sincerely hope your DH soon comes to his senses, realises what he has lost and seeks the help he needs.
You will get through this. You are strong woman to have come this far with him. He is a very lucky man to have you rooting for him, even if you are living apart.

You stay strong and keep smiling enjoy your few days at your mums xx

Good Morning Everyone

Just wanted to say a cheery hello. Ive just been catching up with the threads and there's a heck of a lot of sadness going on today.
Hang in their guys stay strong!!

DD and me are off bug hunting now with her Dora the Explorer kit!
Thank heavens for little girls/boys!!!

See you soon xx

GinnedUp, hope you have a good break - it'll help you think things through a bit and you may have a wonderful holiday with him in May. If he was so upset, it shows that he cares and a bit of time apart will hopefully make him think about what he'll lose if he can't cut down on the booze. Look forward to catching up with you when you're back on your PC.

IOHW, no, it's impossible to imagine my dp ever stopping drinking completely! Especially as it's part of the actor's culture - most of them like a drink to unwind after a show, and to be honest, I like a glass or two as well, though I don't drink when I'm upset about anything and anything more than two glasses and I regret it later, so I try not to overindulge. I dread him being diagnosed with any disease that required it (though my dad has managed to cut down to an occasional glass after getting diabetes, and he LOVED a drink, so it can be done!

However, things have been a lot better between us this past week, dd went to her father's for a couple of days yesterday, so we were able to have a romantic evening a deux for the first time in weeks and it was much needed & enjoyed!

What I'd like ideally is for him to just cut down - but I'm a bit scared of raising the issue just now since we're getting on well!

Maybe it's because it's Friday 13th - not a good day.

Enjoy your bughunt! Don't eat too many !