Feel I'm living up to an 'ideal'

[LovelyBath77]

Does anyone know what I mean when you feel in a marriage or relationship, nothing you seem to do is ever good enough? If the dinner is not made for 6pm, if you have taken the children out and the house is not as tidy as it could be, or if you have stayed home and tidied then it is commented on that the children have not been out I don't actually think it is possible to be perfect, or do all these things at once. But it seems to be interpreted as me 'not caring'. or taken personally, feel like I am judges on these, small things. I have to say none of this has ever been said, it's just how I feel. Also, when I ask what he likes to eat, he won't tell me, seems to expect me to 'know'. It's weird. I don't know how to explain really. Just wondered of anyone knew how I feel.

Springy _ I don't think OP is being not yet.

If you are still talking and have good times together there is hope.
Both need to change.
Evaluate what is good between you and on the basis both are deep down 'for' and committed to your marriage try to minimise the tension.
Evaluate what really matters and has to be done.

Yes I would definitely draw the line at any hitting or violence- most definitely.

Ok that's one bottom line. Any others?

You don't have to answer me, but it might be an idea for you to identify to yourself what your bottom lines are. Bcs you are so splitting hairs, sequeing (sp) endlessly off with convoluted reasoning, I do wonder if any solid boundaries may be traversed without you realising it.

I did the same contorting btw. Until I realised the obvious b+w answer was the one that fit; as much as I didn't want, was frightened, to face.

Been there, done that, threw him out. He's a pig and you've just realised. Get rid of him

I'm off to spend time with my lovely DH and family over the holidays.

Thanks for all who wrote kind and helpful comments on my thread. Kind thoughts to all

Alrighty then Bath.