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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Emotional affair

165 replies

stuckinaloop30 · 19/07/2017 23:41

Has anyone else managed to break an emotional affair cycle? How long did the withdrawl symptoms last?!

I am happily married but for the last 7 months have been back and forwards in a cycle with a colleague. There have been flirty emails and secret meet ups. Massive highs and we have become really close. There has been a lot of sexting recently. However 3/4 times he has called an end to it but we always relapse. Today for the first time we ended up cuddling close and there was huge sexual tension. He then called me and said its over before asking me to.send photos and discussed how he had felt so excited etc. He then said for certain this time its over. I feel physically sick and so stupid. I know its wrong but I cant stop wanting the highs from being with and communicating with him. If he said its back on I would be straight there. What is wrong with me?!

OP posts:
stuckinaloop31 · 21/07/2017 14:55

Thanks so much HeeerrsJohnny.
QuentinSummers. I agree. I think for the 1st couple of months it really did just feel like flirty friends but then just drifted further and further from that.

user1494187262 · 21/07/2017 16:20

Hi stuck to answer your questions.

We had counselling, for DH to find out exactly why it happened and to help me forgive. I haven't quite got there yet and it's a few years on now but we're happy.
The key thing was that he never once blamed me, or OW for that matter. He took sole responsibility for his actions.

stuckinaloop31 · 21/07/2017 18:44

Ok thanks. Hearing how hard its been dor people on the other side makes me feel even more certain. The other man has text me tonight wanting to know if im ok. Have not replied. Think must realise it is different this time now after my fb unfriending etc.

rainbowduck · 21/07/2017 19:09

Delete his message!!! Cheeky buggar.

You can do this.

user1494187262 · 21/07/2017 21:16

It's incredibly hard stuck

Try to imagine how hard it would be and then x100. Obviously harder for the person who's been cheated on but I can see how much my DH is suffering too.

stuckinaloop31 · 22/07/2017 09:37

I am so sorry to hear that. Sounds like your husbands really lucky you are both invested in trying to overcome the situation.

rainbowduck · 22/07/2017 21:28

How are you tonight OP?

stuckinaloop31 · 22/07/2017 22:10

Bit miserable to be honest. My husband flew abroad again this morning. Somewhere v exoitic in posh hotel and my kids have been really unsettled. Have realised I would normally have perked self up by messaging other man on days like this. Tried to get a online session with relate but shut on saturdays! So book and a bath and a tidy (ish) house!

rainbowduck · 22/07/2017 23:00

Can you have a bit craic with a friend? Whatsapp?

Stay strong...

stuckinaloop31 · 22/07/2017 23:11

Not heard that word before! Have been whats apping colleage/friend who knows but am conscious of their weekend family time. Have been reading other mumsnet threads too. Lots of other old ones about emotional affairs! And every other topic! Is a minefield on interesting stuff on here Smile

stuckinaloop31 · 22/07/2017 23:11

*colleague

user1494187262 · 23/07/2017 01:13

My DH is also away on business Stuck
Feel free to PM me if you want to chat x

HeeeresJohnny · 25/07/2017 13:37

How's it going, OP? Managing to stick to your resolve? Smile

stuckinaloop31 · 25/07/2017 14:31

Hey, thanks for asking..so there have been two sets of texts initiated by him. The one to see how I was. In end replied saying am fine and determined I will not be relapsing. The other today from him was about a password for a work scoring thing which was genuine question as password had expired and couldnt access and in my name. Anyway.. I think definitely done and differerent this time. Team day tomorrow. Hopefully wont be too awkward with all our colleagues there. I have told another friend too now who I have known since I was 12. Her response was I still love you but this is definitely by a long shot the stupidest thing you have done...! Nothing like mumsnet, friend and colleague for helping me to see it for what it was. Selfish and ridiculous So glad I posted on here. Especially glad to hear stories from the other side and impact of stupid behaviour and from people who have got out of situations like this and marriages still together.

rainbowduck · 25/07/2017 14:55

Don't be too hard on yourself. You are only human.

But it's great that you have realized and are determined to put it all behind you. Xxx

stuckinaloop31 · 25/07/2017 15:08

Yes. I think after tomorrow it will feel better and even more finished too as no team meetings booked in August so whole month no contact. Just got.to get through a day of orienteering first. Forecast heavy rain...ConfusedX

rainbowduck · 25/07/2017 15:54

Xxx

HeeeresJohnny · 25/07/2017 16:05

Well done, OP.
Remember that each day you go through this is another day you won't want to have wasted by relapsing. And one day closer to when you realise that you're coming out the other side, where it will feel like the world's the right way up again.

stuckinaloop31 · 25/07/2017 16:19

Thanks. Definitely heading in that direction! X

MonsterMunch100 · 25/07/2017 16:28

Stuckinaloop, I think you are obsessed with a relationship that you know is an illusion.

I have been in your husband's position and believe me, the fallout from an EA is very real. I found out about my wife's EA several years ago and, if I am honest, things have never been the same for me.

I think I was a devoted husband and a doting father. Our life together, even our sex life was good but what I could not offer was the excitement of someone new. I was stable and dependable but the reality is that we all like to feel attractive and special and I just wasn't making her feel like that - but I never knew, I thought I was the perfect husband! .

Then along came someone new who didn't care that my wife was married, he gave compliments he flirted and then it began to cross a line. By that time my wife was hooked, she loved the attention, she loved the compliments, she loved the way this new much younger man made her feel and to maintain the contact she began sexting and whatever else went on....

But really it was all an illusion. If you were with your new man in six months you'd be sick of the routine of living with him - it's hard to keep a 'spark' in a relationship when you're washing their underwear and cleaning their pubic hair out of the bath.

So it is really up to you, you can end this if you choose but you do sound hopelessly addicted. I think you should look at ways of improving your self-esteem that doesn't involve being played by someone who clearly gets off on being in control of you.

Whatever you decide - good luck

showsomeclass · 25/07/2017 16:36

I actually feel for you... it sounds like he is playing you though and you have no control or power of it or him. Also, please please try and think how you would feel if your DH found out, and ended it with you. You would have no DH, and probably no other man either. You will be heartbroken but the reality will only be felt once you are caught - then it could be too late. End it with the player, and be loyal to the man you love. Create date nights with him instead and try and get some excitement back into the relationship that really matters

stuckinaloop31 · 25/07/2017 17:04

MonsterMunch100. Thanks so much for your message. Sorry to hear about what happened. Can I ask how did your wife get it to all stop? I am looking forward to the day when I can wake up and the situation doesnt cross my mind all day. I genuinely do feel like its over for good now and starting counselling too to try and suss out a bit more about how I got into this. Is definitely not something my husband has or hasnt done at all. He is amazing. Like your situation I think its been more about the excitement. Definitely 100percent would not want a relationship at all with the other man. Has been really helpful to use mn as a sounding board/confession place/wake up call.

stuckinaloop31 · 25/07/2017 17:21

Showsomeclass I have definitely felt very out of control. Talking about it to people and on here has shifted things though and feel bit more in control. I do really think its over for good now.

Monstermunch1234 · 26/07/2017 08:32

Sorry, after writing to you yesterday I deleted my account - I think that me being on here is a little self indulgent.

Our situation was different in that I discovered my wife's EA. She was distraught and guilty but also relieved as she would now have to end it. She told me she text her friend to say that I knew and it was over. But I didn't believe her. I could see (in the messages) how much she craved the attention and I also thought he had put too much 'work' in to just walk away. So I began to snoop emails and texts. In a short time he began texting again - just as you describe innocuous texts asking how she was etc. But she replied and all the while told me there was no contact. I could see the texts were just a way to maintain contact and test the waters so I continued to monitor them. After a few days he steered things back toward sex Andy what he'd like to do and my wife immediately joined in.

I confronted her again but in truth, I thought my marriage was over. She tried to explain how he had 'got in her head' how she craved the contact and how he would play her by going hot and cold with the texts so that she would crave the contact.

On this occasion she emailed him to say it was over and that I knew and had copies of the messages that I would send to his wife. She copied me into these emails so that he knew. In a few weeks he contacted her again with a silly text but she again copied me into the reply asking him to stop contacting her.

I know it is difficult for you but if it helps, my wife can now not really understand her behaviour. She wasn't physically attracted to him but craved the attention and the way that he made her feel so special. Once the contact was severed she could see that she was 'played' and recognised that she had no genuine feelings for him. But breaking the cycle of contact was extremely difficult and almost cost our marriage.

I hope this helps, you should be proud that you've cut contact but my advice is stay strong and don't be tempted to respond to any texts no matter how innocuous they seem.

All the best

user1494187262 · 26/07/2017 11:58

You don't have to delete your account Monster. Why do you think you're being self indulgent?

Your thoughts are valid.
Stay x

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