Stuckinaloop, I think you are obsessed with a relationship that you know is an illusion.
I have been in your husband's position and believe me, the fallout from an EA is very real. I found out about my wife's EA several years ago and, if I am honest, things have never been the same for me.
I think I was a devoted husband and a doting father. Our life together, even our sex life was good but what I could not offer was the excitement of someone new. I was stable and dependable but the reality is that we all like to feel attractive and special and I just wasn't making her feel like that - but I never knew, I thought I was the perfect husband! .
Then along came someone new who didn't care that my wife was married, he gave compliments he flirted and then it began to cross a line. By that time my wife was hooked, she loved the attention, she loved the compliments, she loved the way this new much younger man made her feel and to maintain the contact she began sexting and whatever else went on....
But really it was all an illusion. If you were with your new man in six months you'd be sick of the routine of living with him - it's hard to keep a 'spark' in a relationship when you're washing their underwear and cleaning their pubic hair out of the bath.
So it is really up to you, you can end this if you choose but you do sound hopelessly addicted. I think you should look at ways of improving your self-esteem that doesn't involve being played by someone who clearly gets off on being in control of you.
Whatever you decide - good luck