DRY 18

[vxa2]

Link to old thread www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2841743-DRY-17

it's been drummed into us that alcohol equals fun and celebration.

Very true. As it happens I have had a totally crap day in work (after a rubbish nights sleep) resulting in tears and me thinking “I can’t wait for a drink” but actually I’m so knackered & DC has an activity later so I think I can safely predict I will be in my pj’s by 7 whilst DH runs offspring around

How is everyone else’s day going? Uneventful I hope

Hi ladies (well it is Mumsnet…), perhaps guys would be more gender appropriate, but I really dislike calling people Guys. Oh well, perhaps it should be “Hello everybody”…
Still dry. Still going Strong. One glass of champagne on Sunday. I wonder whether it was to celebrate my friend’s birthday or the fact that I didn’t literally explode at lunch with the ex-in-laws.
What is really encouraging me is that I seem to be losing the habit of having a good ole glass of el-vino when I get home in the evening. I have now made a habit of having some tea, mainly herb tea so that the theine doesn’t prevent me from getting my beauty sleep quota. I am in serious need of beauty so I mustn’t miss any of its sleep.
The eye bags (or cases) seem to diminish slightly (will end up with hand luggage size bags) perhaps all the H2O I’m slurping is flushing them away. Also I’m SO active (and physically exhausted). Here the weather really is beautiful so I’m able to go on long strenuous walks during my lunch breaks. I have enrolled a colleague who is training for some local walk at the end of the year, so we are keeping each other motivated.
I also find that writing here is a bit of a life saver. Toyboyfriend is most impressed and encourages me. As long as I don’t get a younger version, he’s very positive about this new healthy road that I’m on.
I’ve starting listening to “Mini Habits for Weight Loss” by Stephen Guise, which I find most interesting (I must admit that I got a bit bored with all the sober ladies and their teetotal stories, will return to them later on). It’s quite interesting how you can adopt new habits by doing just a tiny thing daily to begin with. Anything to remain inspired.
Sending you all good vibes and hope that you are all managing as well as possible. x

@whatsthisbear hope you get some rest and Enjoy your anniversary

@nowstrong that's brilliant. Hurrah to the eyebags going and to increased activity etc. It is such a habit to drink. I have stopped even wanting alcohol during the week now. It doesn't enter my head. I no longer have any prosecco in the house and not at all bothered. And yes, this page is extremely helpful.

Nowstrong no alcohol, lots of fluids & lots of exercise-brilliant. Glad the eye bags are reducing, great that you have a colleague to join your walks. You will be able to motivate each other. Off to google “mini habits for weight loss” because mine just seems to be going up! Well done, keep up the good work.

Musti thanks, we will treat ourselves to lunch tomorrow on our actual anniversary. Great that alcohol no longer enters your head and you have stopped wanting it. Well done.

Everyone else ok?? It’s very quiet on here. Hope you are all ok

Hi everyone day 2 here again...

I am just wondering what the guidelines are here now? It used to be that we didn’t mention if we had had a drink or were planning a drink as that could be triggering for some and I liked that. It was thought that the Brave Babes thread was for people who
wanted to moderate but this thread was for those who were strictly dry - is that still the case? Just trying to find the right home for the next few weeks and hopefully months

@loubilou well done for 2 days dry xxx

I don't know of any guidelines, sorry. I think that most of the recent posters want to either cut down or cut out drinking and are starting by a decent amount of being dry to cut the habit. I personally don't think it's a bad thing if we own up to having a drink or how we're coping with drinking just a little bit, but happy to go with what everyone wants xx

Morning all.

Loubilou congrats on the 2 days.

As a late joiner I haven’t seen any guidelines but I have received excellent support on here and have found it really helpful to be able to mention when I have felt tempted or to mention if I was contemplating a drink. It has also been really helpful to hear how others are able to moderate drinking or drink mindfully tbh but I accept we are all different and different approaches help different people.

Day 22. Supermarket shop and celebratory lunch planned.

This thread was started for people who wanted to be completely Dry and didn't need the triggers of others mentioning that they had a drink or were planning a drink. It was felt that the there was already a thread for moderators with the Brave Babes thread.

I personally feel far more tempted to have a drink if I read that someone else is planning just a glass or has had just a glass of something.

However this thread seems to be running very nicely for those who are on it and you all seem happy with mentioning having a drink so I will lurk around here and see how I get one, I can always duck out again if I need to.

My history is that I did 90 odd days a few years ago and then another three months with just 3 slips and then moderated for 2 years by drinking weekends only. This last summer I have slipped back to every day for over 2 months now and I am really fed up with myself. O originally lost over 2.5 stone in weight when I did the 6 months mainly dry and now have put back on over half of that. Am bloated, paranoid, anxious about silly things, blood pressure has raised again. I am also peri-menopausal and drinking really doesn't help my symptoms at all.

Day 3 and doing quite well, have also started taking Kudzu supplements which appear to be working really well.

@loubilou09 sorry I didn't realise. If there is another thread with people who are just cutting down then I'll post on that and keep this thread for people who want to be dry. If you don't mind answering, how did you feel when you were only drinking at weekends? I am finding it fine as long as I'm strict with not drinking at home but I realise it's early days.

Great news that you're doing well on day 3 xx I'll Google kudzu

Musti if others are happy you mentioning drinking then stay as you are! I am the last in the door so to speak to I will move if necessary. However I might not need to and might find this time a little easier.

There is a Brave Babes Thread on the relationships board though, which is for moderators so that is also a good source of support. But please don't leave here on my account.

I read about Kudzu on the Club Soda board, it is a chinese herb and not very well advertised it seems but has been used to curb alcohol cravings and I must say I am finding that it is definitely helping.

I found the drinking at weekends only fairly easy but this summer has just proved how easy it is to slip back into daily drinking for me. I found the whole process so much easier when I just gave up completely for long periods as I just stopped thinking about it all the time but when I drank at weekends only, it was the whole should I drink just one night or both and inevitably I felt so crap at the weekend that it would take me the whole week just to get over it only to start again!!!

I really would like a good long period of abstinence this time - fingers crossed!

That's interesting. When you were only drinking at weekends, did you drink a lot less per night than when you drank more often?

No I didn’t really drink less as my mind and body were conditioned to a certain volume I think but the hangovers were so horrible compared to daily drinking. More toxic and poisoned whereas daily drinking is just a long term fatigue, anxiety type of living rather than a hideous hangover. Neither are good for me....

Thank you. That's what's been happening to me. My next step is if I drink, to take it easy.

Good morning all. How's everyone doing?

After being dry for 23 days thanks to the brilliant support I have had from everyone here I suddenly didn’t know what to do if we weren’t supposed to mention alcohol on here.

I had no idea it wasn’t supposed to be mentioned, didn’t see any guidelines, I felt guilty for mentioning that I wanted it, didn’t know anyone on the thread I seemingly should have been on instead of this one...... so instead of coming on here saying I was thinking of having a drink....and re living how you are all doing so well and what I would do instead......I have started a bottle of wine on day 24.
I’m devastated.

I’m right back where I started. Except it took me well over a year to get me to the point where I was ready to stop.... and now I’m feeling how lovely it always feels after a sip, a glass, a couple of glasses, a bottle....I’ve failed.

Thank you all for all the support I have had over the last 24 days, I couldn’t have done it without you. I wish you all success in your attempts to reduce/quit

@whatsthisbear you are doing amazingly well. It's Friday and you drank and that's fine. I have drunk twice since I did dry Sept. I could have drunk tonight but I deliberately stayed home as I am enjoying being clear headed and I think that my new habit of hardly drinking is still on very shaky ground.

See how you feel tomorrow and don't feel bad about today. It's like being on a diet and eating healthily for 3 weeks, one day of eating cake isn't going to undo the three weeks and you can go back to being healthy tomorrow.

I don’t think anyone said alcohol couldn’t be mentioned. And there doesn’t need to be a huge drama over my comments. I just asked what the deal was with this thread as historically it was started for those who wanted to be completely dry (hence the title) rather than those who wanted to moderate. All I did was query (fairly innocently I may say)if we were still following those original guidelines. If not that’s cool...I believe I said I was happy to hang out elsewhere if everyone on here wanted to discuss their planned moderated drinking and I couldn’t handle it.

I am doing okay...Friday night was hard but I ended up going to bed early as I was “bored” which I never quite understand as had I been drinking I would have probably watched exactly the same on television...

A good friend was supposed to be doing this with me but popped round today and said she had a drink last night so of course that has got the witch pumped up and she is shouting fairly loudly in my ear - so annoying and bizarre how our minds operate...

@loubilou09 well done for staying dry last night. Have you got hobbies, sports etc that you enjoy doing and could focus on? Or go out to the cinema or bowling or something thats diffetent and requires you to drive. Watching tv is relaxing and nice but quite passive and kind of invites drinking or eating.

Hello everybody
I’d love some tips please... im half way through sober October and used it as a good ‘excuse’ as I find that is acceptable to people rather than going t total for ‘no reason’. So far on two separate occasions people have asked to meet up for after works drinks and I’ve said yes lovely I’ll have a mock tail tho as I’m doing sober October. They’ve both declined and said they’d meet me next month. I don’t want to just rock up and announce I’m not drinking as that may make folk feel awkward. I hope to carry it on tho. How do people manage it? I don’t expect people not to drink but I still want a social life!

Just go out and don't mention what you do or don't drink. Just order non alcoholic drinks when you go out.

Joining. I tried to join dry before but basically got booted off by some snarks when I said I was trying to moderate so am glad it’s seems a bit more accepting now! That being said I am going to go cold turkey, at least til Xmas season I think. Did a 100 days stint last year and it was one of the best things i’ve Ever done. I’ve had quite a ‘big’ week socialising wise and feel tired, hungover and a little annoyed at myself...

Userinterface - when you get to the end of Sober Oct tell people you’re doing 100 days or carrying on. Those friends of yours will just have to accept that you’re not drinking at the moment ( or forever but that’s not really their biz right now). And if they really can’t, then they are not proper friends... when I did 100 days I just went out as normal and had non alcoholic beer or mock tails. People can be a little odd as they’re self conscious if you’re not drinking but honestly after one or two drinks they forget about it

@sowhatifidosnore welcome! I've been fine moderating since October in the sense that I'm not drinking at all in the week and not missing it. However, I am drinking too much when I do drink and it's affecting me the next day. So I've got to learn to moderate when I drink. I just seem to revert back to when I was drinking lots.

Hello everyone,
Sorry to have been absent for the last few days, but have been SO busy. WineWise, I am globally pleased, as I have been able to moderately have a drink with friends yesterday, but stick to one glass instead of hogging the bottle. I even managed to put the not yet empty bottle back in the fridge and ignore it for the rest of the day.
I did read the thread, even if I was absent and was slightly worried about being able to continue posting if moderation is not allowed. Even if my eventual goal is to ditch the drink completely. It is a very complex addiction and being able to be the boss is quite a victory for me. Even though I remain very vigilant to not shout complete victory. I’ve won a couple of battles, but not the war. Yet.
My next trial will be the family visit. Then I’m on an "easy" journey until Xmas.
However, my herb tea addiction is still going strong, my application to walking too. I’ve lost 1 and a half kilos. Yeah!!!
*Whatsthisbear” you’ve had a slip. Just put on better shoes and you’ll be fine. We can do this!
Musti we seem to be the same, my main problem is moderation. I can happily go without until my society friendly side emerges and then stopping at one can be an effort. But I’m nearly just as proud at stopping at one as going without which, paradoxically, sometimes seems easier.
Sowhatifidosnore I’ll try and keep you company until Xmas, but I can’t promise anything. Except that I will do my best. userinterface34 people often know deep down that they should slow their own drinking down but each one has to find their own moment. Perhaps don’t announce anything about not drinking alcohol. Just ask for soda and lime but in a wine glass, or something… Look like you’re drinking, no-one’s going to taste what’s in your glass. Loubilou09 just tell the wine witch to shut up. You can do this.
I hope that you all have a good wine-free week. I’ll be back next Tuesday to say how I faired with the family of drinkers. Might drive them around a lot, that will help…can’t drink and drive.
xx

Thanks Nowstrong! Got a work drinks thing this week so that’ll be a little test but it’s at a pub that sells Brew Dog Nanny State, so mynplan is to drink that. It looks so much like normal beer hardly anyone ever notices that it’s AF.