DRY 18

[vxa2]

Link to old thread www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2841743-DRY-17

Hi. Checking in. Shocking boozer here. need to stop.

I've been dating and I think I need to completely change my approach to that too. Binge behaviours. Self destructive.

Ok. I'm going to go to bed early tonight and check in tomorrow. I hope to get to know you all a bit. Hi :)

It's my birthday on Thursday. Nothing planned. Just hoping to feel a bit better by then.

Massive fail for me on that camping weekend 2 weeks ago. Started well but by the second night I was drinking and smoking!! How can I ditch the smoking no problem but not the drinking? Monday should have been my day 1, but I merrily went and bought more wine! So the drinking continues and I seem to have lost the will to stop. Help!!

Well done newstrong and welcome yeahcorvid! I don't know if it's the same for everyone but for me it was easier to change my routine to different things when I'd normally drink. Try and do stuff that requires you driving, or non drinking activities. Try and eat earlier and go to bed earlier if you're home (If that's when you usually drink). For now I have broken the habit and don't feel hard done by and I'm not at all bothered. I am losing weight, my skin and eyes are looking better and If have more hours in the day and weekends. Also get you on destructive dating front.

Ibab- I would have struggled not to drink on a camping weekend too. I'm avoiding proper nights out this month for that reason. I have tried so many times for so many years to only drink st weekends etc and I can't, it creeps in. If I can keep it to drinking only when I go out or have friends round for a party then I'd be happy with that but I have to break the daily drinking at home habit first and for me that means being AF for I don't know how long for.

Good luck everyone.

Day 1 again, tired of being a mess. 45 now and want to live a life free of shame, regret and wasted opportunity. Losing my mind over failures with love life and coping with drink.

Hi Amazon! Good luck :) maybe look at doing a 6 week personal trainer/nutrition programme? Commit to doing something that will make you feel better and change your habits? Once I'm finished with dry Sept I'll look into doing that if I find myself waivering

Thanks Musti, planning to overhaul my routine. Gym, pepper healthy food. Need to stop drinking to heal a broken heart.

Trying something new tonight on this SECOND whole day of not drinking: going to a therapy appointment and getting the train home afterwards without having a single drink. So far I've managed the first part: quick bite to eat, no booze, loitering on the way there as slightly early instead of popping into a bar for a snifter. And messaging you lot. How TMI do we get on here? Because let me tell you I'm pretty sure I've got some nasty wine-related thrush.

Brilliant yeahcorvid. Keep going, it'll get easier and easier. As far as I'm concerned as tmi as you want.

Amazon, yes. Do other stuff instead of drink and you'll heal a lot faster.

thanks, Musti.

I'm in bed now, I've made it through several triggers and I've had nothing but water and tea. Hoping to wake up feeling good tomorrow.

Good luck everyone x

Yay yeahcorvid! The beginning is so hard so well done xx

Second day, technically first as yesterday I was so ill from drinking the night before I couldn't drink even I'd I wanted to. Feeling very unsure in my resolve as 20 past years have been trying but failing to sober up.

Amazon, don't take your achievements away from yourself. It's your second day. you didn't drink yesterday; today you will not be drinking.

thanks, Musti!

Today is not normally a drinking day for me as I'm back with my kids for the first time since sunday lunch so we usually have a cosy tea and that will be fine. (tho mustn't get complacent.). Tomorrow is my birthday and I have no plans, so although I was thinking of losing some weight (feeling pretty chunky, my belt is on the wrong notch) I think maybe I should rustle up a cake so I can invite a neighbour or two over to make my children think we're celebrating, without resorting to opening a bottle.

no plans for the weekend. I have to line something up for saturday night when my dcs are in bed that will feel really nice to look forward to and has nothing to do with drinking.

Well, so happy (and proud) still dry. It's becoming a habit ;-)
Have to attend a "party" this week-end so will report back on Monday. Thank you for the motivation and good vibes to all.

I've wanted to cut down on drinking for years. A couple of weeks ago two things happened. I was ill (V&D) from a bug going round work, then I watched the Adrian Chiles programme on TV - Drinkers Like Me. It's as though something has changed in my head. Because I was sick, I had a couple of days where I couldn't have a drink anyway. Then I found I just didn't want to. It's ridiculous as on some days I have had a drink, but that's really been out of habit rather than because I wanted to. As recommended in the programme, I downloaded the Drink Less app and have completed it every day. I've had four alcohol free days each of the last couple of weeks and it's been really easy. I'm just going to keep going with having no alcohol unless I'm out with friends.

Last night I was working late and when I got into bed I realised that I hadn't thought about alcohol all day. Normally I would've known exactly what was in the house and if there wasn't any wine there, I would've stopped at the shop on the way home. I hadn't given it a thought.

I think the programme really made me think: what are you doing to yourself? And then when I went onto the app and filled in how much I drank (I'd said I drank 4+ times a week, drank 3-4 units of alcohol each time, had had 6+ units weekly) it said I drank more than 95% of other women in my age group! That was really shocking. It said out of 20 people in the UK, I was at a greater alcohol-related risk than 19 of them.

That really, really hit home. I knew I had to stop and it seems I'm getting there, thank god.

I thought it was interesting what Frank Skinner said on the programme. He said that he thought Adrian Chiles should stop drinking so much now, so that he could continue drinking. If he got any worse, he'd have to stop entirely.

I have to say that's what I think, too. I want to be able to have a drink if I'm out with friends. I don't want to get to the point where I can't do that.

Problem with me is, I can't stop after 1 or 2. I just have to keep going!!! Oh bother. When I'm on my own I can easily down a bottle, or two if I'm stressed or sad.

Is there anything that would stop you drinking more? For instance if a friend came round and you were having a good chat, would you pace yourself alongside her or would you drink more? I find if I've got something more interesting, eg someone to talk to, then I'm not so bothered about having a drink.

I drink in moderation with friends or partners around me. It's being on my own that does my head in and I pour wine down my throat because of the anxiety loneliness causes me.

I think a lot of people can relate to that. And then the alcohol makes you more anxious etc.

Day 7. Have been doing OK but could quite happily kill someone for a cold glass of white wine just now (well, not really, but you get the gist). Aarhhh! I hate this point in the evening.

Thanks Musti, by the way, for your words last week about it at first being about the stringing together of periods of abstinence. I've been reading the book 'The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober' by Catherine Grey and she makes the same point, relating it to the reprogramming of neural pathways and conditioned responses within the brain. That quite makes sense for me. I just rather suspect that I'm going to turn out a slow learner .

Alcohol (most, apart from spirits) contains a lot of sugar, so any candida (thrush) typeissues will be fueled by drinking.
And interestingly, with candida overgrowth, when you cut down on sugar you can get horrendous withdrawal symptoms and crave the very thing that is making you ill ... ie sugar or possibly alcohol.

I'm practising sitting with some uncomfortable feelings. I put myself in an uncomfortable emotional situation. I knew it would be uncomfortable or feared it would be but I hoped for better. I didn't get better. I came away. It's only feelings. It's just feelings and it will go away. I am fine. nothing is broken or damaged. Everything is ok. I did nothing wrong.

I've been trying to replace booze with food. So far, so good. Not too much, not junk, but salads, chicken, pasta. Also trying to keep positive and have faith in myself.