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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DRY 18

890 replies

vxa2 · 07/07/2017 09:16

Link to old thread www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2841743-DRY-17

OP posts:
mardymustelid · 01/12/2017 00:03

My husband insists on keeping crates of wine in the garage. (I keep drinking them). My daughter thinks I'm alright in a crisis, as I never let anyone down. but otherwise, I'm rubbish. I'm good, but not good enough.

mardymustelid · 01/12/2017 00:12

Oh, I'm not drinking,Seeds, just grumbling,

lilybetsy · 01/12/2017 07:56

Hello cars , and welcome. The DRY thread is in the relationships section ... probably because there is a lot of traffic there.

I’m Lily, I’m 630 days or so sober - not counting really any longer though I have an app on my phone. Im 52, and was a heavy drinker.

I was drinking roughly a bottle of wine a day, and often more at weekends, I felt shit; anxious, ashamed, guilty and trapped ...

Stopping drinking changes your whole life, I’ll be honest, it’s not 100% easy, even when you “succeed” BUT, life is hugely better now that I no longer drink myself into oblivion every day.. I’m slimmer (2 stone slimmer) fitter, happier, healthier and richer ...

I have also lost the dreadful gnawing anxiety that I was one slip away from an almighty fuck up...

I write a blog, which you can find here www.alcoholfree2016.com,

You CAN do it, you just have to prioritise your sobriety ( which means sometimes not doing things you had planned because the temptation to drink will be too strong) I say “just” like it’s easy , it’s not,but it IS worth it !

BGJ43 · 01/12/2017 08:36

What goes up, must come come down....

Reached 365 days on Tuesday and felt really flat about the whole thing - didn't feel triumphant, proud, better... Just entirely flat. I think it was a trigger for remembering where i had come from, and how bad it had been...

Had been at a party over the weekend where the beer pong was highly competitive - and i know that 12 months previously i would have been all over it, most likely making a total arse of myself - but i felt somehow excluded.... with the people present and the vibe, becks blue for the beer pong wasn't an option!!

A really trying day at work yesterday and all I wanted to do was go home, curl up on the sofa and get very drunk - I haven't felt the pull so strongly for such a long time it left me almost teary... Almost feeling lost somehow...

But, and the 'but' is small, there was a tiny voice asking how it would be better wit the booze and I couldn't answer that - deep down I knew it wasn't going to help, and that after a year the feelings of failure,disappointment etc just wouldn't be worth it.

So i made hot chocolate with an obscene amount of skooshy cream, ate haribo and napped. I didn't particularly feel much better, but i knew I would have felt much worse if i had taken that first drink...

So, yes it's been a year, and mostly it's getting easier, but lordy yesterday was tough - I feel a little worn out by it all... Today is another day, it's Friday and the forecast for the weekend is a little less baltic - woohoo!!

Onwards - we're really doing something worthwhile, even if it doesn't always feel like.....

lilybetsy · 01/12/2017 10:06

BJG I can really really emphasise with that feeling. I think it’s really common as. To drinking becomes more normal.. there’s nothing to replace all the strong emotions that were swirling about. I have a work Christmas party coming up, I have to go, but I’m dreading it - I feel so left out when everyone is drinking and partying.

lilybetsy · 01/12/2017 10:41

Oh, and well done a) for the year - be proud, only a max of 30% make it to a year, and b) for not giving in. It would NOT be better with booze 😊🌷

donajimena · 01/12/2017 18:22

Happy Friday everyone. I'm still here and happy to be sober. I've just been to a works do. I work with non drinkers so I had a lovely afternoon with no temptation and no hankering. I do have a few dates in my diary which might not be as easy.
I hope you are feeling a bit better this evening BJG parties are hard.

BGJ43 · 01/12/2017 20:23

2x training sessions and then pizza....

Not too shabby...

biscuitbasket · 02/12/2017 08:52

Waves hello!

Dry posts got me through my first 6 months of giving up. Now 565 days in.

Good things: 2 stone lighter, much fitter, different friends, career taking off. Love not having to think every night about if I should have wine or not!

Bad things: still fancy a drink maybe once every 6 weeks or so.

Think , on balance, it was worth it!

Carfish · 03/12/2017 03:48

Thanks so much for taking

Carfish · 03/12/2017 03:53

Thanks so much for saying hello. Will certainly go and look at your blog. I don't really want to stop drinking I just want to be able to do it in moderation and that just doesn't seem to be possible- I wish I knew why. So I'm in denial waiting for the motivation to jump and accept the - I think inevitable- realisation it has to be all or nothing. I think a lot of it is habit. I start a new job in January and am hoping a change in my life will help. How did you 'start' - what made Day 1 possible for you? X

Carfish · 03/12/2017 03:56

Ooh. That was meant for lilybetsy! Haven't got the hang of posting yet ! How do you edit posts ?

Scrubsy · 03/12/2017 10:55

I need help
I drunk too much again last night.
Massive argument with DH.
I drink because he treats me so badly. Then I get nasty. The children then think I'm the one in the wrong.
Please help me to stop drinking

Scrubsy · 03/12/2017 10:55

I need help
I drunk too much again last night.
Massive argument with DH.
I drink because he treats me so badly. Then I get nasty. The children then think I'm the one in the wrong.
Please help me to stop drinking

marryoneorbecomeone · 03/12/2017 12:20

Just popping in! 2 years dry today.

Scrubsy, I did it with AA. Have you thought about going? X

Scrubsy · 03/12/2017 12:25

Don't think I could face AA. So ashamed.
I want to do this on my own.
I drink because I'm so unhappy. But then make my life worse because of the things I do and say when I'm drunk.
Used to be able to hide it from the children but know they are grown up they can see what a mess their mum is Blush

Pinkpeppermintteaforme · 03/12/2017 20:13

Scrubsy
Flowers Brew
Can you talk to us a bit more ?
If you are drinking a lot you might need medical help as it can be dangerous to just stop.

donajimena · 03/12/2017 22:14

Scrubsy you can also show your children how you can turn things around.
If it helps I'm not in AA. I'm doing really well with support on here and I downloaded the Jason Vale book which has REALLY helped. I think I'm 16 days without a drink but I have lost count already Smile
You can do this.

donajimena · 03/12/2017 22:26

carfish my day one... this time around was easy for me as alcohol made me quite unwell.
However in the past I just picked a day and went for it. It wasn't easy as I was obsessing over not drinking but the first two days were the hardest. After that it was very enjoyable and I was much happier with life in general.
Unfortunately I wasn't entirely honest with myself nor the posters on here who had been wonderfully supportive because my aim was to moderate too. Which I succeeded in the main but the reality was it made me very miserable. I also drank too much on (thankfully rare ) nights out.
So I've realised its all or nothing. I have bought the Jason Vale book and it has completely turned my head. I don't feel any anxiety about not drinking. I feel very positive about an alcohol free future.

Carfish · 04/12/2017 07:37

Thanks for sharing this. I know deep down that it's all or nothing just a bit scared I think . I need a life change and hoping new start in new job in Jan will give me the impetus. Your experience gives me hope ! X

Scrubsy · 04/12/2017 09:18

Thanks for the replies.
I don't think I need medical help to stop as I can go days sometimes weeks without drinking.
But when I do drink, I do it to get drunk. 1 is never enough!
I hate myself and I hate the looks my children give me when I'm drinking. They are on tenderhooks waiting for me to get upsetBlush.
I don't want to be that person. But, the thought of never drinking scares me.
I have a real problem today, it's my best friends significant birthday and we are all going out.
Normally we get hammered together. I just can't face drinking but don't know how to handle it?

BluePlasticBuddha · 04/12/2017 09:55

Good morning.May I join also?

I am 20 days sober, but white knuckled it all through the weekend. I am a keen member of the FB group Club Soda, but have been lurking on these threads for ages and decided it was time I popped my head in and said hi.

Scrubsy Thanks

BluePlasticBuddha · 04/12/2017 14:13

Oh- on the recipe for the turmeric and pepper tea up thread.I have been drinking half a teaspoon of turmeric mixed with a few grinds of the peppermill, the juice of a lemon and a little bit of honey in sparkling water for several months now. I got the idea from this book;

www.amazon.co.uk/How-Not-Die-Discover-scientifically/dp/1447282442/ref=sr_1_3?keywords=Michael+Greger&tag=mumsnetforum-21&ie=UTF8&qid=1512396681&sr=8-3

and it was to reduce inflammation and to help my battered liver. The key points as mentioned above was to mix the turmeric with pepper.... my version is just how I find that palatable.

What I have noticed - oddly-is that my chronic back pain has been significantly alleviated also! I just use the powered turmeric spice you find in the spice rack.

Pinkpeppermintteaforme · 05/12/2017 07:23

Morning all
Just popping in to say its 150 days AF for me Grin
Keep on it !

doolaadoo · 05/12/2017 09:07

Morning all.
So I've well and truly had a gut full of drinking. I'll do one or two days no drinking and then it's back to a bottle and a half of wine at night or gin.
I'm so fed up of this damn routine that I'm now waiting for a call back from my doctor as I'm hoping they can offer a tiny bit of help via medication to just give me a leg up.
Has anyone else been in this situation? Are there any key words I need to say to the doc to get the right help?
Any advice will be well received.

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