How much housework do you do at your DP's if you don't live together?

[Tearsoffrustration]

DP not happy because all I do is the dishes twice a week (see him after work one night a week & Saturday evening until Sunday night).

I said i can do more (his bathroom needs a good scrub tbh) but that it would eat into our time - he wasn't happy with that answer.

He clearly thinks that when you move in, he'll be getting an unpaid housekeeper. What gobsmacks me is you don't see this too.

Will it ever be your house too? Or are you moving in to "his" house? My Dad recommended starting afresh with a home thats new to everyone. Possibly not practical but was it ever discussed!

If you like cleaning and you are good at it would you enjoy being paid for 5 hours cleaning a week and spending 5 hours doing something you like?

I never did any housework and it wouldn't even have crossed my mind.
I would run a mile if I were you!

I don't think it's unreasonable for the person working part time to do the majority of the housework in a relationship. I would be annoyed if I worked a 12 hour shift and came home to a dp telling me we needed to clean the bathrooms after he'd been at home all day.

But it's outrageous that he expects you to clean his home now, when you don't live together and you only visit twice a week, and that attitude does not bode well for your future.

Please tell me this is a joke.

I'm with everyone on the "run away" thing, but just a couple of points...

a) The DP didn't say cleaning would eat into their time together, OP did. He doesn't seem too bothered tbh, as "time together" implies "time doing my chores that I cba"

b) OP did not say she only worked ten hours a week, she said she had ten free hours a week when the DC were at school and DP would be at work, ie two hours a day. Which, yeah, I guess she might as well spend housekeeping as any other activity, but once that spare two hours is full who does the overflow tasks? Let me guess: Muggins.

It's not your house......

If you have 10 hours free whilst your dc are at school then use them to benefit you and them....
do a course
get some work- if you like cleaning be a cleaner and earn money for it in those hours....
volunteer
work in a shop..
lie in your bath reading a book
see friends]

If he lives in a house on his own he wont need that much cleaning done for himself quick hour is really not going to impact on your time with him if you're only seeing him twice a week he could do it on the other 5 days

....If he's not coming to yours so as he doesn't meet your kids yet fair enough but you sound like you are heading to a very poor position for your family ....He is not your family..

Hi Tears, do you spend nearly all your time at his place? Does he do the majority of the cleaning at the moment? Not sure why he wants you to do more when it's his place unless you are there all the time messing it up after he's cleaned it.

When you move in, if you work part time then yes you will have more time to do chores but he shouldn't expect you to pull in all the housework all the time. I'd be worried by his attitude.

Manage the cleaning when you live together however you want.

But please tell us why on earth you think it's ok to be expected to clean a house you don't live in?

OP you seem to have internalized the idea that housework is the women's domain. What happens when your 2hr quota is up for the day, will you and him be doing 50/50?

Why are you moving in, who's idea was it? Are you moving into his place?

OP enjoys doing it.. but she's clearly not cleaning enough.... to satisfy her hard working man ..... Soooooooooooo get your finger out OP