How much housework do you do at your DP's if you don't live together?

[Tearsoffrustration]

DP not happy because all I do is the dishes twice a week (see him after work one night a week & Saturday evening until Sunday night).

I said i can do more (his bathroom needs a good scrub tbh) but that it would eat into our time - he wasn't happy with that answer.

I'm married now but it never occurred to me to do housework when staying at DP's before we moved in together. He had a cleaner and a dishwasher so no need to really.

If you move in with this man, don't expect him to suddenly transform into a prince. He's showing his true colours right now.

This is him showing you his best side, when he's got you locked down in a cohabitation he will only get worse

i might have helped cook a meal together and dried the dishes if he washed but cleaning or anything else - NO WAY!!! Run fast and run far - this man will grind you down and make you a drudge.

If you move in with this man you will sup sorrow with a long spoon.

You need to have a long talk with yourself about what you think you'd gain other than another mouth to feed and another person to clean up after. Saving a few pounds a month on rent is NOT worth it.

Have some self respect please. No-one should be doing chores beyond dishes in a place that is not theirs unless they are their carers.

Please dont move in. You will become his slave and he will be annoyed when you dont meet his expectations.

I don't do any of my boyfriend's housework at his flat because I'm his girlfriend not his maid.

Out of interest, what form does "not happy" take?

I am only at my DP's one night a week. I help clear up after dinner. I don't even help make it I sit on my arse in the kitchen drinking wine and chatting but help serve up and clear up after. Do I do anything else? Do I fuck as like!

DP is at mine 4 days a week. He doesn't do housework though he'll do anything if I ask (take recycling out, fix something, shopping etc) and we share the cooking (mainly because he enjoys it and is better than me) But I would not expect him to do any housework no.

As an aside I would not be shagging a man with a dirty bathroom either but there you go!

Do not move in with this man unless you wish to be his skivvy.

This is him showing you his best side, when he's got you locked down in a cohabitation he will only get worse

This!!!

Please heed the advice on this thread, OP. He sounds truly awful.

When we didn't live together, I gave the kitchen a wipe over, sometimes changed the bedcovers, or cleared away takeaway mess - I was only there one night a week and anything I did wasn't expected at all.

Seriously? Please do yourself a massive favour and DO NOT move in with this blob unless you chose to have 'domestic drudge' tattoo'd on your forehead.

Why the fuck should you do his housework? I can't believe you even needed to ask.

Gingersstuff
Honestly I despair. Women like you (and there are still far too many) enable men like him. You'll be back on here in a couple of years time whining that he sits on his arse and does nothing while you do everything. And it will be entirely your own damn fault. Give your bloody head a wobble, seriously.

I agree with every word - oh and they usually start complaining when pregnant with, say, the third child that the DP does nothing, not that he did anything when they had the first or second, so why the fuck keep having children with such a loser? It does my head in.

Dump him.

This is him showing you his best side, when he's got you locked down in a cohabitation he will only get worse

So good it was worth another copy and paste.

He'll only get worse

Christ on a motorcycle do not move in with this man!

Why do people put up with shit like this?

at Turnip and Christ on a motorcycle

My DP (well casual boyfriend really ) does the dishes when he comes round here and that's it. Any less and I'd be pissed off. More is nice but not compulsory.

Run for the hills! You're not his maid!

I stay at my bf's house a few nights every other week and work from home during the day when he's at the office. It's a house share and his housemates are lazy sods don't pull their weight so if I see the vacuuming needs doing in the communal areas, kitchen needs a wipe etc. then I'll do it. I also change the sheets (just in his room!) and wash, dry and put away the old ones. None of that is expected by him or his housemates but it is appreciated. Usually he cooks for me and I'll wash up, which I feel is fair. If I cook, he washes up. He stays with me less often but when he does he spends hours doing maintenance - again, not expected but very much appreciated - and washes/tidied up as needed.

Does he do any of your housework?

None. I cook and clean when he comes to mine and he does the same at his. That way each of us is able to relax.

Fucking hell. Run!

None, whenever I go to his he apparently spends the day prior cleaning. When westay over for a few weeks over the holidays we all cook and clean together.

He's never ever expected me to clean his house I don't expect him to come clean mine either. We all pitch in when tidying/cleaning as we all generate the mess.

Do not move in with this prick.

he wants you for the fuck and for the cleaning.
you are not his equal, in his eyes.
you can't be this desperate for a man, surely?

You haven't answered how much housework he does at your place.

I quite often cook at his because a) I like cooking for us and b) he likes helping me cook

That's it.

I'd back off swiftly if I were you.

Omg he is having a laugh!