How much housework do you do at your DP's if you don't live together?

[Tearsoffrustration]

DP not happy because all I do is the dishes twice a week (see him after work one night a week & Saturday evening until Sunday night).

I said i can do more (his bathroom needs a good scrub tbh) but that it would eat into our time - he wasn't happy with that answer.

Bloke here. Tell your DP to have some self respect and clean his own bathroom. If he can't scrub it up for visits from his girlfriend then he never will.
He sounds like a shocker, but if he can get you to clean his bathroom then he has my respect.

Eh? Cheeky sod!

When my fiancé and I were dating I did no housework in his flat whatsoever and he never expected me to, why would I?

You need to nip this in the bud!

Sorry but that's really weird.

Ditch him. Ditch him now.

Bloke here. Tell your DP to have some self respect and clean his own bathroom. If he can't scrub it up for visits from his girlfriend then he never will

This times a million!

So he's not really a DP then is he. I think every poster from hereon in needs to just type RUN in capitals - that's all the advice you need.

i occasionally do the washing up or wipe surfaces if im staying over, but not every time. He occasionally hoovers for me, or cuts my grass

Jesus. Run for the hills. Run like Usain Bolt.

Does he think that the half of the human race who sport vaginas have a sacred duty to clean people with penises bathrooms?

I live separately from my partner, I will cook if it's a recipe I know well and will do the dishes sometimes too. Don't clean his bathroom you are not his slave the cheeky bugger!

Oh and why doesn't he clean his bathroom? This makes me feel he can't be arsed and thinks housework is for the ladies (who are expected to work full time, pay half of everything, even on maternity leave - hey he's a feminist you know). Post children his sport/hobby will take up all day Saturday and two evening a week!

Lol what a ridiculous moan from him! He lives there, he can do his own housework or hire a cleaner! Why does he expects you to clean his place?! You're not his maid!!

So you actually offered to do the housework, but he was annoyed it would eat into your time together? So what, he wants you to come round when he's not there to do it?!

You'd be a fool to do any housework at all, just to be clear.

He's trying to turn you into a drudge, OP. Why not just get rid?

FWIW, I would do nothing: no cleaning, cooking or childcare. I expect to relax and be taken care of when I'm at a boyfriend's house.

Wow I wasn't expecting so many replies!

We are going to be moving in together soon & as I work part time I will be doing the majority of the housework (try & get most of it done while DC in school) - so the fact he's having a strop about it now when he has years of very minimal housework ahead makes me more annoyed!

Run like the wind from any man who expects a house to keep itself clean with zero interference on his life and gets 'annoyed' with you for not cleaning a house you don't even live in yet.

Don't move in with him. I mean it.

I do none at my BF's. I stay at his one night maybe once every 2 or 3 weeks and he stays at mine some weekends plus the odd week night. When he is at mine, he'll usually wash up a coupe of times and we'll cook together, he'll sometimes make breakfast, nip to the shop, bring dinner etc. He'd do whatever I asked as well as using his initiative to get on with washing up but I would never ask him to do actual housework (even though he has 2 hairy dogs :D) as it isn't his home.

Does he stay at your home, ever?

Why would you move in with someone who sees you as the cleaner?

You know he'll do ZERO when you move in, right?

My. First. Ever.
LTB.
Oh, yes.
So good I'll say it twice.
LTB.

Why on earth would you move in with someone who doesn't do his cleaning and expects you to do it?!

Haha brilliant

You are a mug. Or you enjoy domestic slavery.

I have a long term partner and we don't live together, i do zero housework for him, why would I?
If I wanted a cleaning job I find one where I'd get paid.

Kick him to the curb and stop being a mug fgs

We are going to be moving in together soon & as I work part time I will be doing the majority of the housework

WHY???

And why, just because you currently work PT, would he do "years of minimal housework"?!

Set your sights higher, and do yourself and your DC a favour. Do something with your time - earn money, relax, spend time with the DC - other than wait on a sexist, lazy bloke.

Before I got married, I didn't do any housework at my then BF/fiancé's house. I would cook now and then, but I would never do housework as such.

I don't really consider doing the dishes as housework, I think if both people have shared a meal, then it's courtesy to wash up sometimes.

I wonder if this is a sign of how much he expects if and when you live together /get married.

"We are going to be moving in together soon & as I work part time I will be doing the majority of the housework (try & get most of it done while DC in school) - so the fact he's having a strop about it now when he has years of very minimal housework ahead makes me more annoyed"

How low are your boundaries in relationships, they seem so low here as to be almost non existent.

Apart from not moving in with him I think you should be thinking too about your future within this relationship because he really sees you now as nothing more than a scullery maid. I would not want to move in at all with such an individual; if he is shows this attitude with regards to housework, what is he going to be like day to day with your children and you?. They too need a better male role model because this individual is not it.