What do I do?

[neverthoughtidhadtonamechange]

I really don't know how to start this, I don't want to drip feed either (so if you want to know anything just ask)

DP who is sleeping has just received a call from another woman (I wouldn't usually answer his phone but the same number called 12 times and I thought it could be urgent)

As soon as I said hello she hung up, I have tried calling her back but she has switched her phone off.

Now I don't know what to think because he has cheated on me in the past, he come clean about it because he was feeling guilty, this was 3 years ago, he thinks I have got over it but I haven't, every time I think about it, it just makes me feel very vulnerable.

A bit of a back story, for the past few months we haven't really been getting on the greatest due to him not wanting to spend time with me and DS5, he goes out and doesn't come back until late, and his excuse is "I don't feel as if you want me around you" - it is really hard to be around someone who doesn't speak, it feels like every conversation is forced, and when I suggest that we do things as a family he doesn't want to, he'd rather take DS out alone, which makes me feel very insecure, I am really not happy at the moment, the only reason I have stayed with him is for the sake of DS.

I am not silly or naive I suspect that he is seeing other women, and the worst thing about the whole situation is that my friends and family think he is perfect, he has got they charm.

Ok, so you don't want to call back the number, you don't want to snoop any further, you don't want to leave him......

What do you want to do?

Not really sure why you've posted on here to be honest OP. You don't want to hear what anyone has to say

Can't you see the difference between advice and giving orders

Ring the bloody number? How is that advice? I am going to ask admin to delete this thread now.

OP you're getting very worked up , might be best to delete this thread if its upsetting you now

OP I have read the whole thread and at the beginning was feeling very sorry for your situation. I do think your DP is not treating you well and like others have said he should be bending over backwards to prove nothing is going on, it is very strange for someone to call that many times. He sounds very guilty. I think you sound like you need some help as your ranting are very strange at people on here who are just trying to help. You did ask what do I do? remember?

OP, you are mistaking directness for rudeness/orders.

People have tried to help you and give you suggestions. You are not interested in a solution.

It's like you think it's better to be a martyr and suffer for the sake of your son and some memories.

You have started a thread about this woman so you obviously do care about what those calls mean.

In your place I would leave this man. If not that, I would find out as much as possible about this woman and gather proof.

Once you have the proof, you can make an informed decision about what you want to do.

I am trying to word this carefully so you don't think I am being unkind. Really I am not - I am trying to be helpful.

My sons always seemed happy too - but they always understand more than you think. They knew I was unhappy. Their dad also took them out without me and although I put a bright face on, they tell me now (as adults) that they knew I wanted to come. I sometimes wonder what that taught them about how they should treat a partner.

We divorced when they were teenagers - and guess what, after a little while we were happy. I wished I had done it when they were 9 and 7 (which was when he cheated - I gave him a second chance).

Sorry for rambling but I thought my story was in some ways similar to yours. In fact you are in a better position because there are no money worries.

Please take the time to have a think - your son will know on some level that his dad makes his mum sad.

You're right, it's nothing to do with me but YOU are the one who came here asking for advice!
Ringing the number is not an order, it's advice on what to do, and what a lot of people would do!
I'm direct - I've said what I think you should do - that's advice.

If you were reading these with the intention of sorting shit out, you would read it as advise, but you haven't listened to anyone and you are taking it as orders.
But yeah, you should probably delete the thread if you're not going to do anything about it.
Good luck OP, contrary to what you think this isn't entertainment. (Or it wasn't untill you targeted me)

@neverthoughtidhadtonamechange

I think personally this whole thread is being misinterpreted by other people... at the end of the day you are you and you know how to handle things for yourself we are all different people and we all handle things different... a few paragraphs on here to describe your situation doesn't give anyone the right to make you feel like you should be doing anything different... For me personally I explained earlier in the thread my opinion.. I thought using this site it was meant to be a comfort for someone to express how you feel and seek advice and for most it is but for some threads I've seen the majority of people say one thing and if the person posting doesn't act on their opinion then they give people some grief... NOONE knows fully your situation or your feelings on things in your situation what we do know is there is still love involved somewhere otherwise leaving would be a option.. but you have chose to stay and move on and hold onto things for your son! Who is anyone on here to disagree now you've reached a decision I for one think you must be a strong person to put your needs to the back for your son and I genuinely wish you all the best for you and your son.. keep your chin up and good luck and now you've made your mind up I'd remove this thread before you get anymore people advising you differently to how you feel ... chin up Hun x

@MrsMamaG2016 thank you so much, god bless you. You are one of the few here that actually understands.

I will not post again, as if feels as if most of the people here are just here for entertainment and to be nosey, how many times did I say I wouldn't call the number back and people were still telling me to call the number, up to the stage where one person actually thought it was ok to give me orders.

I am not the same as those who kept pressuring me to call the the number, I do not care about the woman I don't want to speak to her, simple reason I do not see her as a threat or am I intimated by her, reason being I am very comfortable with the way I look and no other woman can take that away from me, all the people here that would call the number obviously do not have much respect for themselves.

@neverthoughtidhadtonamechange Your welcome and no your right it's having self respect and to be honest I wouldn't let no one knock my confidence .. stay strong and love and well wishes to you and your son :) as long as you are happy with your decisions that should be enough I hope it all works out for you both and trust your own instinct

OP, nobody is giving you orders, people are trying to help you, you just don't seem to want to hear it.

Personally, I'm actually quite concerned about you, you're getting more and more incoherent as the thread grows and I'm worrying about what impact this is all having on your MH.

Stay with him or don't stay with him, it's entirely your business, and I'm sorry but you're not going to get lots of posters reassuring you that you have nothing to worry about. He's got form for cheating and is showing utter contempt for your feelings. Most people wouldn't put up with that, but you know him far better than we do.

But if you do stay with him I'd wager this won't be the last time you ever worry he's up to no good.

I'm going to say it again... they were not orders
Why can't you see that?
You've obviously not read many threads on here - as the way I have wrote it is the way so many people write regarding situations like yours.

You seem to be taking your anger out on posters here, instead of your real target. That's somewhat misguided of you. Because most people on here are genuinely concerned for women in your situation, and want to listen, then offer their advice. You can either take it or leave it, but at least think about it before you discard it.
I think you are angry at posters here, because they are giving you blunt, unpalatable truth, and you don't want to hear it. And that's a shame, because there is an honesty here that you won't find in real life.
Whatever you decide, I wish you well OP.

The thread is called: What do I do?

We've all given you advice. Very good advice actually. Advice you should take if you want to get to the bottom of why a woman is calling your cheating partners phone 12 times in a row then hanging up when she hears it's not him.

If you believe him, then that's your choice and it's all you had to say. But asking advice on what to do and then telling us all to stop telling you what to do is just silly, there's literally no other way to find out so I guess you will never know.

It's not all about looks too by the way, people have to actually like each others personalities and show love, support and respect.

But asking advice on what to do and then telling us all to stop telling you what to do is just silly

THIS!!!!!