DP cant hold a job and he thinks i dont support him

[soconfused40]

Hello all. I wrote another post sometime ago regarding this but there is a new situation. DP of two years can not hold a job. He has changed 4 or 5 (i lost count by now) in the last 6 months . It is always their fault , they are always try to make him leave because they are jealous of him or worried about their jobs because he is so good, there is always a bad supervisor that will bully him etc. After the first 2-3 jobs i realized that there is a pattern, it can not all be that bad or that jealous of him so there must be a different reason Despite all that i am always supportive to him and i never raised my concerns.
Lately when he complains about his latest job i am trying to show him another perspective. For example when he says that the supervisor bullies him i am saying that what he describes its within the "normal" , he isnt there to be friends. Or when they installed a system at to ensure that all employees do their job i said that its not that bad they are just trying to ensure that people do what they are paid for.
Apparently that means that "i can not support him", " i always support his enemies", " always taking the side of people who dont like him", "he wants a wife that he can talk to and he doesnt want to tell em things because i dont support him". When i remind him that i supported him every time and i just try to give him different perspective he just carries on, he isnt interested to listen the explanation
I am confused as i dont understand why he would think that. Also i am afraid that he really believes that they are all against him and jealous and thats why he is losing the jobs. We dont live together at the moment and i never supported him financially. But we are planning to get married and then his actions will affect our both lives. Any perspectives, opinions appreciated

I agree with Dog, if you are worried - call the police

Wow that is full-on actual paranoia there in addition to the anger and terrible controlling abusive behaviour - what a poisonous person to try and be around, you must have been exhausted for a long time dealing with that!

When I read your first post I thought the man had MH issues. Now I can see he's rather dangerous.

Run, don't walk.

oh my Rabbit, that poem is spot on, it has brought a lump to my throats.

My dsis is in this position and I've recently not been able to "reach" her with the normal arguments, rationale or even love but this poem may just help. I feel so bad for anyone in this position. Good luck op.

Hello all. He called me at home today to tell me how sorry he is and that he had time to reflect and realize that he was wrong. I replied that everything was too much and i dont want him to contact me anymore. Immediately his attitude changed, he got angry and he said that he humbled himself and said sorry but i am disgusting therefore he takes the sorry back. He also said that why i am even at home and i disappointing him because i sound ill and i probably do it to make him feel guilty. Its very very exhausting and very crazy and it drained me, all i want to do is sleep . But i am happy it ended, my life is temporary ruined but i feel genuine relief that he is out of it. I also told him that i have all the messages and if he annoys me again i will call the police. thank you all again for the messages

:( the laying on of charm in admitting his fault was predicted by a pp. But it was temporary. He is an abusive man. He will use a facade to confuse you :(
You are right. This is temporary. You have warned him off now :)
Two things. No three.

1. If he does give you grief, you said police and you must carry through with your threat #toddlerparenting101
2. Get yourself on a Freedom Program course to understand why you were nice enough to end up here
3. Well done!

I live with someone who:

Feels that the world owes them a living.
Constantly asking me to fund his lifestyle.
Won't lift a finger around the house if he thinks he can get away with it.
Contributes nothing to the household finances and yet expects food on tap.
I spend my life doing his share of the housework
He doesn't drive and constantly asks for lifts, here, there and yonder.

The only difference being is that he is 14 nowhere close to an adult and improving by the day.

On a more serious note......... run like the wind.

Block his number. What a bastard.

What saddens me most about this is that he will eventually find some poor woman who will fall for it. She will bankroll him, put up with his abuse and be grateful that he gives her the time of day.

All we can do is be happy that you didnt fall for it, and hope that his next victim finds MN.

My first thought was that they actually sound like the words of a mad man being read from a court transcript after he had gone into work and murdered "his enemies"

Well done op. You just saved yourself a whole load off misery and crap ! Have a good cry if you must then move on xx

Block his number. Block his number. Block his number. Block his number. Block his number. Block his number.

And block him on all social media and email. You have wasted enough time on his shit.

You couldn't have a clearer indication that he's not sorry. He doesn't even know how to be sorry, he just thinks sorry is a thing he can say to make you do what he wants. If he realised he was wrong, he'd be mortified and he'd back off when you asked him to. Instead he had a tantrum because his 'apology' didn't have the desired effect. Nasty, nasty man.

You can bet that if youd taken that apology at face value, he would have made sure you were punished later for making him "humble himself".

OP I remember your last thread.

Stay strong and if he keep harassing you contact the police & explain his abuse. You deserve more. Stay strong