It's my birthday tomorrow and he's forgotten

[rainsbow]

I don't need a song and dance or presents or anything, but he's not even asked if I'd maybe like to go for lunch or something. Instead he's just banging on about the usual taxi service we have to provide the kids on a Saturday. I feel really despondent.

I've told him I'm not going. He's not surprised. He'd only booked flights, no hotel, so he's trying to cancel. If he can't, he'll go with a friend.

He's only booked flights as a special present to someone he knows won't fly? What is he trying to say by doing that?

Wow, how thoughtful

It's not even a whole holiday!

Are you sure that he knew this would happen so he could go with his friend anyway?

Hell either get 1/3 refund or it's £100 to change a name. The two flights cost £150. I'm pissed off.

Perhaps instead of Lisbon, you could go to Paris, by train. Or Bruges, or Amsterdam - with a change the Eurostar can get you to lots of places. Don't let him off the hook. He knew the score when he booked the flights so he doesn't get to take a trip with a mate & not buy you a gift. Don't get cross, make smiling, helpful suggestions.

"He'd only booked flights, no hotel, so he's trying to cancel. If he can't, he'll go with a friend".

Gosh, I get more cynical by the day. Either he hasn't booked the flights at all and just invented it in order to say that he had got you something when he had forgotten, or this was his intention all along.

If I were you, I'd ask what he intends getting you for your birthday yesterday? Because so far he bought HIMSELF a holiday for your birthday and you get the lovely treat of 3 nights alone with the kids while he dicks around Lisbon with his mate. Convenient that the double room in the hotel wasn't booked eh?

So what's he booking for you instead then? You could go to Paris by Eurostar or go by ferry to a few places or even just a uk mini break. Surely if he booked the flights because he wanted to do something nice he'd be looking into alternatives now.

Have you told him you're upset/disappointed OP? You seem a bit passive, not mentioning your birthday to him, not telling him what you want (apologies if I'm reading it wrong and that's not you at all).

I don’t know which is worse, forgetting your birthday or booking a
flight he knows is pointless toy you.
It’s just bizarre.
And I’d want to know who the friend really is.

That's a rubbish present. Ask what he's going to book instead: nice London hotel or Paris by Eurostar? Do not accept him taking a friend. That's giving someone else your present!

And yes to stop being passive. Give him a list of suggestions. And leave it with him to sort.

Booked those flights on purpose knowing you weren't going to go by the sounds of it!!

Hmmm, something stinks!

Does he follow a sports team or particular hobby that would benefit from a trip to Lisbon OP?

Happy belated birthday

He didn't get you a birthday gift, he got himself something he wanted. He planned a weekend away for him self a 'friend'.

I think you need to think about what you want from this relationship.

TWAT!!!!!!

No way should you let him cancel or change that name. Tell him you'll plan to go and let's just see... then pull out the morning you're leaving. You leave your name on that booking. Or, you cancel it for him.

What a nasty little shit

He should not go with a friend it's YOUR birthday! He's cocked up majorly

I hope the kids got him tampons for Father's Day