Dirty new partner

[dirtynewpartner]

I met a man almost two months ago. I spent a night at his yesterday and was appalled at the condition he lives in. Clothes on the floor by his bed, dirty dishes in the sink and couldn't walk on the kitchen floor with my socks or bare feet as I could feel stuff on the floor.

He has teenage children that come over the weekend, their rooms are a huge mess! Beddings look like they haven't been washed in months. There are crisp and sweet wrappers under their beds and carpets are littered with food particles.

I don't have OCD or anything but this is just a little much. This is a 42 year old man, am I being too fussy here?
This morning he's been in bed only got up to eat breakfast.

I said could we spend an hour cleaning the house and he got up for five minutes and sat back down then called me a nag!

To start with I do have standards! I've been single three years since broke up with EH.
I was trying not to be superficial. I'm not here on about cheating or the other stuff people put on here. This is a good man who has a dirty home.
For four hours I went on about the state of his house because it was shocking to me and wasn't my place.
Now I have ended the whole thing coz I love to walk barefoot and not have to disinfect the toilet seat before I use it. C'est la vie

Op I think that is a sensible decision. The comment nag was rude and you also said he wasn't too pleasant when you left his house. You are better than that. Life is short - don't spend it with someone that calls you a nag after a few months.

As someone who spent five years trying to get a lazy slob to tidy and clean, you really need to dump this guy. He will not change. I tried, every day for 5 years. I was a fool please don't be a fool

you went on at him for four hours? no wonder he called you a nag.

Bloody hell, the hysteria!

Plenty of people have cleaners. That's because they're too busy to do it all themselves, so they outsource some of it.

This guy has thought about what the OP has said and decided to do that, but OMG IT'S TOO LATE.

Wait, you went on for four hours and he still tried to find a solution (a cleaner)?

And anyhow, who wouldn't call you a nag after 4 hours?

And there's nothing wrong with hiring a cleaner.

I think the OP means she went on for four hours on here, not to the untidy man.

I think it shows a total lack of respect to invite someone round and not even sweep the floor or clean the bog. No one needs to live in filth.

And I have a cleaner but like most people, I tidy up before they come, put the dishwasher on etc. Most people employ domestic cleaners, not Kim and Aggie

This guy isn't a youngster just starting out. He's a grown man in his 40s with teenage chn. He has had previous partners and at least 2 babies and hasn't got into good habits for any of them. You were going round there - it should have been obvious that he should tidy up, clean sheets, hoover etc in preparation for your visit.

This tells you all you need to know.

Well done for ending it & lots of good luck finding someone who really values you.

I'm a grown woman in my 50s and my house is pretty disgusting too

but I'd clean it up if someone was coming round

definitely got the crusty kitchen floor thing going on

I did go on for hours trying to understand why he's house was filthy. He said he has no time.

No he spent all morning in bed. If thT wasnt having sex, it is just lazy when you have a guest

You went on at him for four hours about his dirty house? And you wanted to clean it up together?

Honestly it's up to him if he wants to stay in bed all Sunday morning and if he doesn't see the mess, well he is obviously happy living this way.

I understand you not liking his grotty standards but it's not your business to go on about it.

C0untDucku1a

Why? Spending time in bed with my (now) DH is something I really enjoy. And yes, at some point we were guests at each other's houses as well...

Anyhow, if a boyfriend (casual shag, whatever) of mine had done this? Chucking him outside seems like a very obvious reaction. And so is calling him a nag (actually, probably something ruder).

As for the mess. Yes, sometimes people with different standards don't work out. And sometimes they hire a cleaner and it does....

He said he has no time Yes... And? I don't have the time to clean. Neither has DH. That's just how it is for some people. (and that's why we hire somebody to keep our house in order....)

You went on for hours about it? Hours!

I'm amazed he'd want to see you again tbh.

Btw, if he endured your rant for 4 hours and only then called you a nag? And still offered to hire a cleaner? He sounds like an absolute sweetheart.

@QuietNameChange does he now

Yes

Imagining your story I had visions of me throwing a boyfriend (whatever...) in his boxers out of the house. And throwing his shoes and trousers out of the window... (Very much like a hollywood movie) ;)

But yes, I'd actually worry about my boyfriend being a controlling bastard if he did what you did.

How on earth did you manage to rant about the state of someone's home to them for 4 hours?

Run away. Very fast. In fact - drive ! It's quicker 😉😜😳

Haha!