Is anyone awake? I think I was just raped

[AskingForIt]

I'm in shock. I don't know what to do. My friends are sleeping

Thank you everyone. I feel like I'm having a bad dream and can't wake up

How are you feeling?.

I'm in Lancashire, UK. If you're close PM me and we could meet up tomorrow and I can try to help you with this by being your voice and calling on your behalf.

I was raped when I was young by two different men at two different times, both of whom I trusted. You're doing the right thing by reporting him. Don't interact with him further but keep all messages for now.

Oh OP that is horrific treatment and the exact opposite reaction that young girls and uni students are taught will happen if they report such instances. I am disgusted for you. Please keep trying the various numbers that have been given above and honestly I would try and report the police officer in a future position when you have recovered or are further from your situation. This should never have happened - no wonder so many horrific sexual crimes go unreported.
Let the bastard feel bad all he wants - he chose his course of action.
Please let us know you are okay at a later date , all my love.
This does not define you.

And I am also in Lancashire if extra support is needed from the lay above ^^

Op. If you're in the west country and need support message me.

Thank you everyone. Time to get some more sleep

Don't give up, OP. You'll regret letting the bastard get away with it if you don't explore every avenue while the mental and physical evidence is still fresh. All those helplines will be up and running today. Please just get on that phone and don't accept anything less than the support and justice you deserve. Sometimes in life you have to be your own best mate, rooting for you and never giving up on you. Xx

|Thinking of you today Asking hope you managed to get a bit more sleep

Thank you, i managed some sleep but still exhausted. Will try calling rape crisis at lunchtime. Hopefully they can sort my head out. I have no strength left to challenge the police. I think it's because I've been raped before that they don't want to know. Made me feel like damaged goods

Just been looking at the sexual offences act and he clearly didn't reasonably believe he had consent as I have messsges from him saying that he really didn't know if he had consent he just got carried away. And 'I never said you said yes'. But apparently there is no offence

You basically have proof that he raped you. If you do decide to try again with the police at any point, please do make a formal complaint about that officer. Sounds like he needs extra training... Or sacking.

Have you had support previously from Rape Crisis?
If not then please do call them.
If this is more than once then you need to some help in spotting red flags and setting your boundaries.
Womens Aid run a course called the Freedom Programme.
Please call them and see if there is one in your area you can attend soon (0808 2000 247)
It will really help you with future relationships.
I'm so sorry this happened to you.
Rape Crisis - then Womens Aid.
Get some support and don't be ashamed.
You did NOTHING wrong.
They are rapists! It's all them!

Wish I could make the shame go away but the police have made me feel so stupid and like it's my fault it's happened again. Only apparently this time I wasn't actually raped. I'm just making a fuss about nothing.

He said that the messages made no difference. There was still no offence. Don't think I could feel much more stupid

What happened after the last time op? Your last post was that your experience with the police was positive. Did it go to court?

Was it the police officer who said the messages made no difference? A solicitor might think differently. Dont delete them.

Are you phoning rape crisis today?

Asking I have no advice and you have been given some excellent support on here. I just wanted to say I'm so sorry and I believe you

Yes it was really police officer who said that and that having a conversation in a pub about not having sex also made no difference. He just got carried away and Sex was the natural progression

The police have previously been brilliant so really wasn't expecting to be made to feel so stupid

Will keep trying to get through to rape crisis or another helpline I found Which opens shortly.

OP, just here to tell you that I believe you and want to offer a handhold. I really hope that you will manage to get through to someone who can support you with everything. This is not your fault!

This is so awful OP. I cannot believe the police have said this is not rape

Are you able to tell us what happened some more? The comment from them of He just got carried away and Sex was the natural progression makes no sense to me. How can it be a natural progression unless you have consented to sexual intercourse itself?

The response from the police is so wrong that it's baffling. I mean baffling that police officers would be so cavalier with their own job security as to respond so unprofessionally to a victim, since they will have had training up to their eyeballs on consent. Whatever police officers may think privately they all know that sex without consent is a crime.
I strongly advise you to contact a SARC in your area today.

I'm pretty sure you have a legal right, nowadays, to be taken seriously by the police and have evidence taken. And I'm pretty sure they have a legal duty to collect evidence neutrally without pre judging the victim. It may also be worth your while setting if you can get some free legal advice on your rights.

OP, I'm really sorry you're having such an awful time. I just wanted to reiterate what a PP has said about how you're being incredibly brave. I believe you.

Your head must be, understandably, all over the place right now. Might it be worth, when your thoughts come together, sitting down and writing out what happened as best you can; just statements of fact, starting with what you understood had been agreed between you and him, going through what happened, and then covering all the contact you have had afterwards, both with him and with the police/any other services you called. This might help things not get fuzzy if you have to try to recall it at a later day. It would also serve as something to hand to the police rather than trying to get your words out.

I hope you get through to one of the help lines, and that your experience with the police doesn't stop you from trying again when you feel you can.

Anyone else feel like forming a human chain outside this police station until the OP gets justice?!