Are all men stupid fucking immature knobs who lie about stupid things

[Peanutandphoenix]

My stupid immature childish supposedly 31 year old boyfriend told me the world's stupidest and most pointless lie ever yesterday told me he was going for a shower and went quiet for half an hour. Later on he got his knickers in a twist and started saying that I was trying to cause an argument after it transpired that he'd not had a shower he's still refusing to speak to me over it all I don't care whether he's had a shower or not he had been looking for an argument all day that wasn't there but what got my back up was the lying why lie about something so pointless and stupid. Are all men really this fucking childish.

Rant over just needed to vent.

Go find that. You deserve someone who will make you happy and bring out the best in you.

Thanks HildaOg your right that's the kind of man I need to find not one who wants to sit around all day doing nothing. Thank you one day I will find a man like that.

Exactly Peanut. It's so stressful being with someone who is poles apart from where you want to go, who you want to be and who you are underneath. Get rid of him and write a list of all the qualities you'd like in a man. Passion, energy, kindness etc... Then you know what to look for, you won't be distracted by chemistry or a good looking face, you'll know what to look for to get the right man for you.

You sound resentful of him.
You believe you caught you chest infection off him - it almost sounds as if you think he did this deliberately

You think you work harder than him, and that he dosses about at home

You constantly refer to your working nights, and sleeping.

It doesn't appear to an outsider that you see him as equal.

The things you call him - show you lack respect for him, the names are unpleasant.
If I were him i'd react defensively

If he is getting you so wound up over such a trivia l incident after a couple of months, how miserable will the pair of you be a year down the line?

HildaOg your spot on and I am sick of wasting my time on people who don't want to do anything with their lives where as am working extremely hard to make something of my life so that in 5 years time I can walk in to work as a nurse not just a care assistant I am extremely driven and determined to do what I've got my heart set on and I won't give up until I get there and prove that mild learning difficulties won't hold me back. Your right I do need to do exactly that I want a decent man who has the same determination as me to go places in life and not just sit and waste away in front of the TV.

Then you know what you have to do.

Peanut, I'm very glad to see your latest post.

"It is better to travel alone than badly accompanied", a wise saying that was written for you. Bide your time until a worthwhile man turns up, this one's useless.

I wish you lots of luck, you deserve it. x

You sounds really sweet, peanutand phoenix. Take care of yourself and get rid of this idiot youre with

Thank you bebox your right I would rather travel through life on my own than go through life with a time waster. The right man is out there for me and I will find them one day. Thank you hunni xx

Shayelle thank you hunni I will do and I will be getting shot of the idiot I can do much better xx

Woah! Hang on a mo before we pass negative judgement on this woman. I agree, not ALL men are f*g idiots, but there are an awful lot who are. I consider myself to be an intelligent middle-aged woman with a lifetime's experience in the workings of the (un) fairer sex and also somebody who seems to have the knack of attracting God-awful twats who cheat, lie, disrespect, belittle and generally knock the shit out of me. Men make us paranoid, whether we like to admit it or not. You only need to turn on your tv to see how much of a 'man's world' 🙄 this is. We are taught to believe that it is 'our' problem. That us women are the problem in a marriage or relationship. Unfortunately a lot, if not most, men are hard wired to shag about, view porn, get 'bored' etc, blah blah boring etc. And a lot of us don't f*g like it. No wonder there are many of us who feel the way we do. Perhaps, instead, we should, as women, sympathise more with those who are stuck with men who make them feel like the crypt-keeper's wife once the novelty has worn off

Not quite a zombie thread but definitely dead and in the coffin. Why attempt resuscitation now?

I desperately want the op to update this thread. I want to know if she’s ever seen the award winning short film called your reality from tatjana anders? Because this sounds like exactly how my 10 year long nightmare began with narcissistic, gaslighting and coercive control that was almost impossible to ever really fully pin down what was wrong but it always just felt like out of the blue i couldn’t trust the floor underneath me. I took a long time to work out he was purposefully pulling the rug out to keep me on my toes and it was all about him and his own childhood trauma stemming from being brough up in a narcissistic household causing an intense amount of shame that mixed with the fact that his parents were also very sure to raise him with the same rug pulling style, “we are ashamed of you, we are so proud of you” we are disgusted by you, we love you so much” you know the type. Anyway it wasn’t until the therapist stopped him mid retort, when I tried to gently explain that I felt he had a lot of unresolved shame and that I was concerned about an interaction with his parents etc and he said oh right don’t you dare say anything about my parents, so what? Now you think my mums a narcissist do you. Calling someone a narcissist just seems like a go to argument for you now, not everyone….
and I was just thinking about how ironic it was that it was his mum his mind went to when it was actually his dad I was thinking of since he was the one who caused all the internalised shame.
quick as a whip she just said his name and waited, you do understand that there are many different types of narcissistic expression and behaviours and very often the people closest to the narcissist can’t actually see the damaging behaviours.
he kind of sputtered and stuttered and went a bit red in the face from the effort of not losing his shit with her. Then crossed his legs and huffed like the man child he is.
as we left that session (are last one he had just told her, because we had apparently worked everything out, but he’d told me on the way there he didn’t think it was worth the money it was costing) she actually handed me a book and said “I tried to say it tactfully but it has landed on deaf ears, so I have actually bought this book and I think if you are going to stay in this situation it’s very important you know what you’re close to and not seeing. You have to protect yourself and your kids. To him she had said goodbye and then as he was walking out ahead of me she told him to remember that an apology without change is just manipulation. That has stayed with me ever since. It hit deep, it woke me up and the book? Rethinking narcissism by dr Craig malkin. There is a quiz in that book and I took it because I was confused more than anything, then I read the book and the section on covert narcissists was like understanding everything all at once and yet being so confused about how I’d missed the signs then doing my usual deep dive research (it’s my adhd brain) I realised the level of gaslighting and how insidious it had been. Still two years after escaping I’m suddenly blindsided by another realisation of a trigger I now have or that feeling as though I can’t get enough air into my lungs is actually because I’ve been holding my breath waiting for the reaction I’m expecting from people. Narcissistic abuse actually changes the brain, not just chemically but actual honest to goodness physical change. So while not all men are like this, and certainly, some women are, I’m sure. The world is set up in such a way and societal conditions are such that men are groomed to believe they are special, that they are more valuable than women that their opinion more valid and their word is law. The problem comes when this generation of women, who were brought up by the first generation of real widespread feminism, meets that same man child in a relationship and a few things begin to happen……. #metoo #incels #smashthepatriarchy #reclaimthenight #4bmovement #notallmenbutallwomen #westandwiththe98% #youaretheproblem #wechoosethebear

My ex used to tell me I was starting a fight. It was the starting of the gaslighting and control/manipulation