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Original poster

Are all men stupid fucking immature knobs who lie about stupid things

138 replies

Peanutandphoenix · 04/05/2017 13:01

My stupid immature childish supposedly 31 year old boyfriend told me the world's stupidest and most pointless lie ever yesterday told me he was going for a shower and went quiet for half an hour. Later on he got his knickers in a twist and started saying that I was trying to cause an argument after it transpired that he'd not had a shower he's still refusing to speak to me over it all I don't care whether he's had a shower or not he had been looking for an argument all day that wasn't there but what got my back up was the lying why lie about something so pointless and stupid. Are all men really this fucking childish.

Rant over just needed to vent.

OP posts:
Original poster
Peanutandphoenix · 04/05/2017 14:11

everythingeverywhere1234 your right it shouldn't be like this after 2 months I don't understand what's happened.

thephonywar I know am the one in the wrong and thats why I've apologised to him and I am sorry that I upset him I never meant to.

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ThumbWitchesAbroad · 04/05/2017 14:13

In my experience, when someone insists you're trying to pick a fight, they WANT you to have a fight so they can storm off or accuse you of being unreasonable so they have an excuse to do something you'd not like.
In my case, it was a supposed boyfriend who was actually seeing someone else as well - but he would use this "you're picking a fight" nonsense over a perfectly reasonable question/comment to show how unreasonable I was, and how my behaviour was the reason he sought solace elsewhere.
Bollocks. It was just gaslighting so he could keep me on the back foot while he cheated away.

Not saying yours IS cheating, but it would be my first suspicion.

Lochan · 04/05/2017 14:15

You sound very, very angry about the chest infection.

No one likes to get ill, but he didn't deliberately give you an infection.
It's not his fault.

If you spend a lot of time with someone you are more likely to pick
up their germs. That's why illness go round offices and school classrooms.

There's no blame, it's just one of those things.

If you are ill why does he need to go to the doctor?

GoatLePew · 04/05/2017 14:15
Confused Hmm
EverythingEverywhere1234 · 04/05/2017 14:15

Sometimes nothing needs to have happened, sometimes two people just don't work as a couple, as shit as that is. Honestly, if I were you, I'd be calling time on it... Life is far too short.

SaorAlbaGuBrath · 04/05/2017 14:20

Freedom program is amazing, it's really helpful. I get being overly defensive after an abusive relationship, I've been there, but honestly? You're in danger of becoming the abuser if you don't look at your own behaviour. Stepping away from this relationship and working on your own confidence, self esteem and happiness is the best way to go I think,

Original poster
Peanutandphoenix · 04/05/2017 14:27

thumbwitchesabroad that was my automatic thinking because thats what's happened in the past and I think I need to learn that all men are that nasty and heartless I find it easier to say things over text message because I dread the reaction if I say to their face because am too use to the punch in the face or the constant arguments over nothing or a relationship ending because they've cheated so i'm always expecting the worst to happen so I go for my fall back of nod and smile keep my gob shut and go along with whatever makes them happy just for the easy life. I don't think he is cheating he is very open and honest with me about everything.

lochan no its not his fault am ill I could've picked this up in work for all I know but he's got a really bad chest at the minute and am worried that he's possibly got a chest infection as well but he point blank refuses to go to the doctors so there's nothing I can do about it.

everythingeverywhere1234 you could be right and we just aren't meant to work.

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pipsqueak25 · 04/05/2017 14:29

if he is that immature and a total knob why are you with him ?

Lochan · 04/05/2017 14:30

To be honest, mostly the doctor won't do anything for a chest infection. Too many antibiotics are given out as it is.

Original poster
Peanutandphoenix · 04/05/2017 14:30

saoralbagubrath thank you I will look at that I think I need it to help retrain my way of thinking not all men are out to hurt me I just automatically wrongly assume that they are and I don't want to turn in to the abuser I just want a happy relationship with the right person and to stop always expecting the worst to happen. Thank you for your advice your right I do need to work on me.

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Original poster
Peanutandphoenix · 04/05/2017 14:32

lochlan thats exactly what he said I got antibiotics but I think that's because I have a crackling sound in my chest and am worried that it will turn in to pluersy again.

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Original poster
Peanutandphoenix · 04/05/2017 14:33

pipsqueak25 because to start off with he wasn't like that he's slowly gone like that though.

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randomer · 04/05/2017 14:34

shift work is a killer

TempusEedjit · 04/05/2017 14:34

"We've been together about 2 months no kids yet"

Grin that's one of the best lines I've ever read on MN

OlennasWimple · 04/05/2017 14:37

Two months is no time at all to be living together, especially when one partner has had an abusive relationship.

The relationship doesn't sound promising, TBH, so I would cut my losses and end it now. At the very least I would take several steps back and take things much much slower

SemiNormal · 04/05/2017 14:41

Actually I think he is the one who initially over-reacted if you said it in a jokey manner and he went in a great big tantrum about it, but you have also over-reacted too about the shower thing. It's not about the shower really is it? It's about the way he's flown off the handle at you for asking something in a jokey way.

Original poster
Peanutandphoenix · 04/05/2017 14:42

randomer oh tell me about it I hardly have the time to do anything. Great for a relationship though we hardly have time to talk so he can't rub me up the wrong way and make me want to set my cats on him.

olennaswimple oh God no we aren't living together after my past experience of living with a partner hell would have to freeze over and then freeze over some more before I ever did that again. Think we should take 900 steps back and take things slower.

Tempusejit Haha my womb is off limits for the forseeable future or until he learns to stop having his life revolve around snooker,darts and PS4.

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Original poster
Peanutandphoenix · 04/05/2017 14:45

seminormal exactly it's not about the shower I don't give a monkeys about the lack of a shower it's about the fact that he just flew off the handle over nothing that's what got my back up and made me over react. I have apologised to him but I know I'll get no apology out of him for flying off the handle like he did.

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shinynewusername · 04/05/2017 15:16

Did you accuse him of lying about the shower - as you do in your OP? If so, I can totally understand him being angry & defensive. It wasn't a lie if he meant to shower then just changed his mind/got distracted. Can understand why you feel so vulnerable but your own behaviour is pretty controlling by the sound of it. He is allowed to change his plans without reporting back to you.

Original poster
Peanutandphoenix · 04/05/2017 15:22

shinynewusername No I never accused him of lying about the shower because its happened before all I said was did you get side tracked again like normal. Am not bothered if he changes his mind about something that's up to him just at the back of my mind was well why make out likr yiur going for a shower if you never it just seemed a bit silly and pointless to me.

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Funnyonion17 · 04/05/2017 15:33

Are you back tracking? Obviously you was there so you know how you behaved. But you've gone from calling him a stupid immature nob who lies about stupid things and yourself seeming very irate, to painting yourself as innocent in all this. You may very well be the innocent party, but your initial posts were filled with rage and contempt over lying and now you say it was never an issue that he went for a a shower and didn't have one?

LedaP · 04/05/2017 15:36

Your attitude comes across really aggressive. Your title say he kied and he didnt. Why come here and say that wgen its not true?

It sounds like you interpret things in a certain way and fly off the handle.

Its been 8 weeks. If he was ill and its causing you issues because he still eont get seen....go home. Or send him home.

2 big arguments in 2 months, the first two months is quite alot.

Funnyonion17 · 04/05/2017 15:37

My stupid immature childish supposedly 31 year old boyfriend told me the world's stupidest and most pointless lie ever yesterday told me he was going for a shower and went quiet for half an hour.

That's your initial post, can you see why we are all confused?! Your post indicated you felt the shower lie was a huge deal, but later you back tracked and nobody is Amy the wiser as to what your problem is with him if it isn't the shower. No way do i believe after displaying that rage in your initial post that at the time you didn't direct it at him too, getting his back up.

Heathcliffitsme · 04/05/2017 15:39

Was he really lying about the shower? What would his motive be?

Wasn't it just he said he was going to have a shower, then he didn't?

Anyway what's with the sitting around all day. Does he not work?

Original poster
Peanutandphoenix · 04/05/2017 15:53

It wasn't the shower that was the problem it was the more the fact that he just flew off the handle when I asked if he had got sidetracked again so my automatic thinking was is he lying but I never said that to him all I said to him was am not looking for an argument and am too ill to be dealing with you flying off the handle over a joke I was still pissed off with him when I posted originally. No he doesn't work hes not had a job since he was 16 he says that I work hard and then tells me that not being in a great mood because am tired after my 4th night shift isn't an excuse his lack of a job is another thing that does my head in because it means that when we want to see each other he expects me to travel to his and I can't afford to do that every week. So I put my foot down on that one he has been told he has to come to mine he can't expect me to find £20 every week to travel to his it's not fair on me when I have my own rent and bills to pay.

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