Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Are all men stupid fucking immature knobs who lie about stupid things

138 replies

Peanutandphoenix · 04/05/2017 13:01

My stupid immature childish supposedly 31 year old boyfriend told me the world's stupidest and most pointless lie ever yesterday told me he was going for a shower and went quiet for half an hour. Later on he got his knickers in a twist and started saying that I was trying to cause an argument after it transpired that he'd not had a shower he's still refusing to speak to me over it all I don't care whether he's had a shower or not he had been looking for an argument all day that wasn't there but what got my back up was the lying why lie about something so pointless and stupid. Are all men really this fucking childish.

Rant over just needed to vent.

OP posts:
JK1773 · 04/05/2017 19:45

There are decent men out there. I'd still say be on your own for a while though. I took 18 months on my own and felt so much better, saw friends, had holidays, lost weight, treated myself etc. After that time on my own I was happy in myself and didn't feel I needed anyone else. That's when I quite unexpectedly met DP. I'm now in the best, most relaxed relationship I've ever been in and it's great. My only regret now is that I wasted so much time with ex. I have periods where I'm livid with myself for it, but that doesn't encroach on my relationship at all. Just the last remnants of damage I suppose. Life really does get better Flowers

Original poster
Peanutandphoenix · 04/05/2017 20:09

JK1773 your right there are some nice decent fellas out there I just need to find them. I think I might stay on my own for a while get back to doing the things that make me happy and i'll meet mister right when am suppose to. That's my biggest regret in life is wasting so much of my time on the wrong fellas and ending up being treated like shit. Yeah it does get better I just need to surround myself with the right people and be happy with myself. Thank you for you help and kind words Flowers.

saorAlbaGuBrath thank you for your help and your kind words Flowers

OP posts:
SparklyMagpie · 04/05/2017 20:14

Fucking hell, all this in 2 months

Whether you questioned him or not, if he says he's going for a shower and he doesn't, it's hardly crime of the century!

You need to walk away from this, it doesn't sound healthy. I thought this was a relationship for atleast a couple of years,not 2 months Confused it's making me cringe. You hardly bloody know eachother in that time !

JK1773 · 04/05/2017 20:25

Good luck OP and be kind to yourself x

TiggyMP · 04/05/2017 20:27

There are decent fellas out there but...

...are you a decent lady? From your thread title alone I'd give you a miss.

midsomermurderess · 04/05/2017 20:32

Maybe the men you choose to be with, not all men.

optionalrationale · 04/05/2017 20:33

"Are all men stupid fucking immature knobs who lie about stupid things?"

Yes

Original poster
Peanutandphoenix · 04/05/2017 20:33

JK1773 thank you hun I will start being kind to myself. Thank you for your kind words.

TiggyMP yes I am a decent person I've never done anything to hurt anyone shame the same can't be said for the abusive horrible men I've been with who have left me unable to trust people or believe in men anymore all I believe is that men will do anything to mess with my head and hurt me. I'll take being on my own over being with yet another horror.

OP posts:
notangelinajolie · 04/05/2017 20:34

He said he was going for a shower and then he didn't and you start an argument over that? Seriously! You are coming across as being ever so slightly unhinged. This is such a massive over reaction to nothing. Give the man a break!

optionalrationale · 04/05/2017 20:34

They don't deserve you.
You sound lovely

Original poster
Peanutandphoenix · 04/05/2017 20:39

notangelinajolie I didn't start an argument he took me saying did you get side tracked again as starting an argument but I wasn't I was joking so we fell out because he tried to look for an argument that wasn't there but we have sorted things out now.

Thank you for your kind words optionalrational Flowers

OP posts:
optionalrationale · 04/05/2017 20:46

Okay I am going to honest with you. You didn't see my sarcasm and now I'm feeling shitty about that. Especially aa you've given flowers.

Blush

I will be direct and clear.

You are being unreasonable. You need to take some personal responsibility and stop blaming everyone and everything outside of yourself.

Either that or just have any more relationships

RebelRogue · 04/05/2017 21:01

Short answer.. No.

Original poster
Peanutandphoenix · 04/05/2017 21:10

Oh sarcasm gets lost on me when it's written down. We've sorted everything out now and we've moved on from it all.

OP posts:
RebelRogue · 04/05/2017 21:12

Aww so he isn't a stupid fucking immature knob anymore? Cool.

Original poster
Peanutandphoenix · 04/05/2017 21:16

No I still think he was a bit of tit for trying to find an argument that wasn't there but I think he might've taken what I said as a joke to be me trying to start argument I don't know all I do know is that we are taking a break so that I can work on myself and sort out my problems.

OP posts:
SaorAlbaGuBrath · 04/05/2017 21:20

Peanutandphoenix self awareness and of our own control over our reactions, actions and words is a huge thing to master and it makes a massive difference in every aspect of your life. You've taken a hell of a hiding on this thread and kept your cool, and also taken lots of advice on board. That's not easy for anyone, so good on you.

SparklyMagpie · 04/05/2017 21:21

You both arnt suited to eachother and I strongly think after 2 months this is a no go. Call it a day op. Otherwise we're going to see a thread in a couple of days with you saying " he said he was going for a piss but he didn't and we've argued"

Seriously 2 months in and petty arguments, end it

Original poster
Peanutandphoenix · 04/05/2017 21:43

saorAlbaGuBrath thank you for your kind words and advice. I have learnt to rise about judgement and not lower myself to being nasty to people. It takes a lot of guts to ask complete strangers for advice on a public form like this I have taken everyones advice and kind words on board and I know what things I need to work on in order to be happy with myself and someone. I didn't expect to get hit with the judgement stick on here but there you go I just hope that people who are so quick to judge have perfect lives and nothing bad ever happens in their life. People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones because those stones could come back to break their windows. Thank you for your extremely helpful advice and kind words. Can I pm you if I ever need any more advice or help. Flowers

sparklyMagpie I think your right we may not be as suited to each other as we thought. I can only try and make it work with him but how long before we another petty arguments crops up and we are back to square one. Think it's time for me to move on and be happy on own my and work on me.

OP posts:
SaorAlbaGuBrath · 04/05/2017 21:56

Of course you can Peanutandphoenix I'm here any time.

bebox · 04/05/2017 21:57

Sorry if I've missed something, but why do you want to be in a relationship with someone who has never worked? You are obviously trying to build a career and he does nothing. You have to pay to go and see him, no, just no. Work on your self esteem a bit, he's not good enough for you.

Spectre8 · 04/05/2017 22:04

Why on earth are you with hime still when you call stupid immature and childish is that anyway to talk about your boyfriend who you are supposed to love. Your both as bad as each other.

bebox · 04/05/2017 22:10

He's 31 and never done a days work. He's not a great bloke, unless he has huge health issues, he's a lazy waste of space.

HildaOg · 04/05/2017 22:35

People are attracted to others who are on the same level as them emotionally. Your partner says more about you then it does about men in general.

If you want an intelligent, mature, respectful adult, you first have to be one so that when you meet one, they'll want you.

Original poster
Peanutandphoenix · 04/05/2017 23:15

saorAlbaGuBrath thank you hun. Xx

bebox I thought it could but now am not so sure. Yes I am trying to build up my care and make a better life for myself but that doesn't include looking after him. He says he can't work due to depression and anxiety but am sure millions of people work with depression and anxiey I know a woman who works an agency carer bexcuse she has agrophobia but on her good days manages to get out to work but hes happy to sit there and live off 14 pizzas and never go out anywhere.

hildaOg he seemed to be on the same wave length as me but I don't know I seem to have more drive and passion to do things that I want out of life where as he's quiet happy to just sit there and let life pass him by. Think I need someone who has the same drive and passion as me to make something out of their life.

OP posts: