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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Are all men stupid fucking immature knobs who lie about stupid things

138 replies

Peanutandphoenix · 04/05/2017 13:01

My stupid immature childish supposedly 31 year old boyfriend told me the world's stupidest and most pointless lie ever yesterday told me he was going for a shower and went quiet for half an hour. Later on he got his knickers in a twist and started saying that I was trying to cause an argument after it transpired that he'd not had a shower he's still refusing to speak to me over it all I don't care whether he's had a shower or not he had been looking for an argument all day that wasn't there but what got my back up was the lying why lie about something so pointless and stupid. Are all men really this fucking childish.

Rant over just needed to vent.

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Peanutandphoenix · 04/05/2017 13:34

We speak just fine and have only had 2 silly Fallings out in about 2 months but what I don't like is the way that it's me starting things if am asleep how do I start things. OK I can be ratty and grumpy if am tired but I work 4 nights a week and my job is hard compared to his job which is sit at home all day. I think what's getting to me at the minute is that I think I've caught this chest infection off him and am really ill with it and he point blank refuses to go to the doctors and he just won't listen when I ask him to go he's got an answer for everything and there's nothing wrong with him.

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IrregularCommentary · 04/05/2017 13:34

You sound very passive aggressive towards him OP.

BitOutOfPractice · 04/05/2017 13:35

How long have you been together? Kids?

Scribblegirl · 04/05/2017 13:38

'Did you get side tracked as usual Hmm'

Come on OP, you've got to realise that's a goady way to speak to him.

Peanutandphoenix · 04/05/2017 13:38

How am I passive aggressive towards him if me just saying did you get side tracked again is me starting an argument I was just asking him a question that's all. I try and stand up for myself a bit more now and try and put my foot down with things I've been in abusive controlling relationships before and they made me feel like I had to keep my mouth shut and go along with what they wanted and I walked on egg shells so that I didn't make them fly off the handle.

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nachogazpacho · 04/05/2017 13:39

Your relationship doesn't sound healthy. In a healthy relationship you might have a bit of a joke over it, which it sounds like you were doing and he's gone over the top getting offended and sort of putting you in your place. Unless you weren't joking and then both of you have acted disproportionately.

How long have you been together? How long have you lived together?

Zebra31 · 04/05/2017 13:39

This all sounds like hard work. How long have you been together?

Peanutandphoenix · 04/05/2017 13:40

We've been together about 2 months no kids yet maybe it's just me always on the defensive because am so use to keep my gob shut nod and smile and do what they want to keep them happy.

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SaorAlbaGuBrath · 04/05/2017 13:40

Why did you ask the question if you're so determined you're right OP? The way you speak about him is awful, very disdainful and dismissive. I don't know why he bothers tbh.

Peanutandphoenix · 04/05/2017 13:42

nachogazpacho it was just a joke and he says it himself that he easily gets sidetracked by something else I know I can be the same sometimes but am only just learning how to stand up for myself and not be afraid of the reaction if I say something.

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Zebra31 · 04/05/2017 13:44

If you are feeling this unhappy after 2 months then maybe you should seriously consider LTB. 8 weeks is nothing and I would expect you to be giddy not pissed off/angry. It sounds like you both really iterates each other.

BitOutOfPractice · 04/05/2017 13:45

2 months? Bloody hell!

Funnyonion17 · 04/05/2017 13:45

This post makes no sense.

You rant about men in general asif they are beneath you, you talk about him like he can do nothing right.

Then people question you and you deflect with more random crap. 2 months?! So you've been together two months and you have this much contempt?!

OnceMoreIntoTheBleach · 04/05/2017 13:46

Your earlier post says you asked him if he got side tracked again as usual.

That's quite a blatant attack on his nature. I think maybe that's why he wasn't happy.

Peanutandphoenix · 04/05/2017 13:52

We both joke about how much he can get side tracked with things so I was expecting him to just laugh it off like usual I didn't expect him to fly off the handle. I have messaged him and apologised maybe because he was tired he just took what I said the wrong way I don't know but it was only meant as a joke like it normally is.

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Peanutandphoenix · 04/05/2017 13:56

Maybe I've just said completely the wrong thing at the wrong time and he's taken it the wrong way. I did feel like he was trying to start an argument in the morning when I was trying to convince him to go to the doctors so maybe it's all come from that I don't really know anymore just sick of stupid petty little arguments over nothing.

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BitOutOfPractice · 04/05/2017 13:56

You both sound pretty touchy. It shouldn't be this hard after 2 months

FrenchMartiniTime · 04/05/2017 13:57

You're supposed to wait a while before your psycho side comes out, not 8 weeks! Wink

In all seriousness you sound like very hard work and immature.

Maybe he doesn't the find the joke funny anymore if you are constantly on his back?

Fruitcocktail6 · 04/05/2017 13:58
Confused
Peanutandphoenix · 04/05/2017 13:59

bitofpractice your right there think he's a but on the touchy side because he's use to relationships going wrong and I know am touchy because am use to abusive controlling relationships so I think I get defensive about everything when I know I shouldn't. Have you got any advice to help me.

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Peanutandphoenix · 04/05/2017 14:01

frenchmartinitime Haha lmao damn really should I of hidden that side for a fee more months Wink. Maybe your right he may find that joke funny anymore so I'll stop with that joke now.

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nachogazpacho · 04/05/2017 14:03

I would step away. It sounds like hard work after just 2 months. Don't live with anyone until you have sorted your expectations out as they are screwed from previous abuse. I'd say the arguing is a sign you are not suited. You don't have to blame eachother if you split. Just say you don't like arguing and that you want to be on your own. I've heard the freedom programme is good at resetting your relationship expectations

EverythingEverywhere1234 · 04/05/2017 14:05

Honestly, you sound like hard work, he might be too, I don't know. What I do know though is that it shouldn't be like this after two months,
I don't really know anymore just sick of stupid petty little arguments over nothing.

Thephoneywar · 04/05/2017 14:07

You've text him to apologies but you haven't actually apologised. You are sorry that he took it the wrong way but you're not actually sorry that you hurt his feelings.

It seems that the possibility that you are the one in the wrong is not something you are willing to consider.

Peanutandphoenix · 04/05/2017 14:08

nachogazpacho thank you for your advice I think you right think we should just go our separate ways. I said I would never live anyone I've tried that he was abusive and cheated on me so never again. I will have a look at the freedom program thank you.

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