Are all men stupid fucking immature knobs who lie about stupid things

[Peanutandphoenix]

My stupid immature childish supposedly 31 year old boyfriend told me the world's stupidest and most pointless lie ever yesterday told me he was going for a shower and went quiet for half an hour. Later on he got his knickers in a twist and started saying that I was trying to cause an argument after it transpired that he'd not had a shower he's still refusing to speak to me over it all I don't care whether he's had a shower or not he had been looking for an argument all day that wasn't there but what got my back up was the lying why lie about something so pointless and stupid. Are all men really this fucking childish.

Rant over just needed to vent.

Oh come onnnn. This is getting daft, he hardly sounds to be worth the effort it takes to pretend you like him, OP. Be brave, call it a day and set your sights higher next time!

I think there's a small chance he might start his own thread.

Women like you put men off relationships I think.

Thanks for your advice think your all right think I need to cut my loses and forget about him. I can't be dealing with the hassle anymore.

So he doesnt work, has never worked. You think he is a liar, accuse him of flying off the handle, you seem to be quite confronational and blow things out of proportion.

And you have only been together 8 weeks?

What are you thinking

I agree the fact that you've experienced abusive relationships is colouring your view.
Just because he's not abusive, doesn't mean he's great or you're well suited.

I get the feeling you don't like him and he annoys you a lot of the time.

IlostitinyheEarlyNineties I think your right the abusive relationships probably colouring my view a bit probably why am always on the defensive because am waiting for it to happen again. Yeah your right he is a lovely fella when we aren't arguing over stupid things but just lovely doesn't necessarily mean that we'll work out. I have apologised to him but he's not messaged back and I have no plans to beg for forgiveness. I don't like him when we fall out over stupid things and he does annoy me at times.

Peanutandphoenix working on your own happiness and self esteem is the best thing you'll ever do. I was in absolute bits after I escaped my abusive marriage, it took me almost 5 years to put myself back together and actually believe in myself and anyone else again. 2 months in a relationship shouldn't be that much hard work, it sounds like you'd be happier on your own for a while.

I agree with Saor. Abusive relationships are incredibly damaging and you need to concentrate on recovering from your experiences.

Don't compare what you have now with your past awful relationships and settle for it because it's slightly better. You deserve more than that.

saorAlbaGuBrath thank you your right I do need to work on myself no relationship will ever work out until I've worked on my happiness and my self esteem. I have massive trust issues and don't believe in myself or anyone else all I see is yet another person who's out to hurt me even if I know in the back of my mind that they won't hurt me and they aren't like any of others normally my gut feeling is right. It's not been this hard with him until we had the 2 little crossed words moments and even though I've apologised he still won't speak to me. So I can't sort things out with him until he speaks to me and drops the overgrown child act. Xxx

IlostitinyheEarlyNineties thank you your right I seem to be struggling to work past my past relationships because am always expecting the worst of people because that's what am use to. Think I need to work on me and work on getting myself over all the shit that happened in the past in order to make any future relationships work. Relationships will never work if I'm always expecting the worst and can't get past my trust issues.

I think you original rage was unreasonable. He didn't 'lie' by the sounds of it, he got sidetracked, as we all do sometimes. I think you now recognise from PP and your responses that your comment to him was totally unreasonable. You seem to be spending a lot of time together and having a lot of arguments for only 2 months in. It sounds draining to me. You sound like you need some time to recover from your past relationships before you embark on another because this one doesn't sound healthy either. Look after yourself for a while, get used to being happy by yourself. Then when you're in a better place have a relationship that is more relaxed. There's a lot to be said for not rushing headlong into things. It makes for a happier, healthier and more relax relationship for both of you

I think it's been suggested already but have a look at The Freedom Programme.
You're likely to feel tired and down with a nasty chest infection so concentrate on getting well and looking after yourself first. Perhaps suggest a break for a couple of weeks to your partner so you can do this and get your head straight.

Working night shifts can really make a person cranky ...but this guy has never worked so thats enough. Find somebody else.

I reckon that once you're happier and more confident within yourself you'll find life a lot easier and better. I was on my own for a long time, and when I met DP I was really open about my past and how it had hurt me. Bit by bit he restored my faith in men, we're 6 years in now 😁

Two months.

TWO MONTHS.

JK1773 I was angry to beging with and I know he didn't lie that was just my natural and wrong reaction. We only see each other once a week and mostly I go to his and stay over not sure if that should be cut down to once every 2 weeks because I have a lot going on with work and my family at the minute. Thank you for your advice I think your right I need to spend more time thinking about just me for now.

IlostitinyheEarlyNineties I have looked in to that freedom program I'm going to give it a go I think it might help me to move on from what's happened in the past and learn to trust people again. Your right I am feeling really tired and drained and just not myself at the minute I have only just got my voice back after 10 days of not having one so think am just low in mood and taking it out on him which isn't really fair on him it's not his fault am ill. I think I might suggest a break for a couple of weeks and see where we go from there a break might do us the world of good and help to sort things out I know it would help me to get my head straight.

Thank you both for your very helpful advice. I have taken on board everything everyone has said and I will work on the things that I know I need to work on and I will try and fix things with him.

Junebirthdaygirl exactly that's why I can be cranky and pissed off at times I work 4 nights a week and am doing my NVQ level 3 at the same time I feel tired all the time and have no time for me. But he doesn't see it as maybe I've had a hard night in work being tired isn't an excuse to the man who's never worked a day in his life.

SaorAlbaGuBrath thank you for your helpful advice I have taken on board everything you have said and I will be looking in to doing the freedom programme I think it will help. I think your right I need to find me again and find someone who's understanding and willing to work with me to help get me past everything and restore my faith in men.

Peanutandphoenix you'll get there, and it is worth it in the long run.

SaorAlbaGuBrath thank you your right I will get there in the end and it will be worth it. Maybe I can fix myself and keep this relationship going there are a lot of things that are amazing about him just wish he would stop with the looking for arguments that aren't there maybe things will be better once I've sorted myself out and learnt to stop thinking that all fellas are out to hurt me. Not all men are bad just the odd few are.

OP - at two months in, you should be so loved up that everything is wonderful. Not cranky with each other , picking fights and having the same arguments again and again.

Leaving that aside, he doesn't exactly sound like a catch - I am sure that (after some time on your own) you can do much much better

OlennasWimple I know yeah and it has been like that and now we are falling out over silly things and refusing to speak to each other. I probably can do much much better after a bit of time on my own your right.

You'll get there in your own time. You're not broken, just a bit burnt by a horrible man. It takes time to heal from that, don't be too hard on yourself.

SaorAlbaGuBrath thanks you right a few horrible men have just left me a bit burnt and broken. It does take time to heal from it am still trying to heal from it all. It's hard not to beat myself up because a relationship ends and they blame it on me. I think if I can get myself sorted then this relationship could work he doesn't know what I've been through in the past maybe he would understand better if he knew but I don't want to have to drag up everything. Thank you for all your help and advice. This fella am with is a great fella and he has his amazing side think I just need to find a way of dropping the past and beating him with the same brush as everyone else that's not fair to him.

If you think he'd understand and it's something you want to do, it might be worth talking to him. Mine has the patience of a saint (he needs it ) and still gives me butterflies after 6 years and two babies! Good luck

saorAlbaGuBrath I can only hope that he would understand that there is a reason why I react to things the way I do. Think it might help to talk to him and lay all my cards out on the table. Haha lol think mine might need the patience of a saint to deal with me at times but it's not my fault am so messed up and no longer trusting of anyone. Awww that's sweet am glad you found happiness with someone there are decent men out there somewhere. Thank you hun