Dating Thread 117 - summer loving!

[InfoSec21]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.

Rise, I usually ignore the messages from younger men, though I had one the other day that was really lovely and I was tempted to message back. When you first sign up to POF you get leads of messages as your 'new kid on the block'. I have been on there too long now and I don't get as many messages, the ones I usually get are 'hi sexy' .

I got several new messages yesterday morning when I was eating my breakfast, one from a man who had a stock photo of a car as his profile picture, as I had a few moments to spare I thought i would message him back, I messaged 'how come no profile photo of you? Are you married?' He wronged back 'not married, I have a partner but she's no fun' I told him what a lovely chap he seems and how nice it is that he's cheating on his girlfriend , just makes me lose faith In online dating completely.

I was chatting to a nice man on Tinder but then we got to the whole 'what are you looking for?' Question and it turns out he's not looking for a real auto ship as he's still getting over his ex .

Mr Normal obviously isn't interested though he still keeps sending the odd text 'how was your day?' But when I try and make conversation he vanishes/doesn't reply. Not sure what his problem is.

Mr Facebook messaged me a couple days ago and keeps liking everything I post on Facebook, I'm going to message him later and see when he's free for coffee.

Far totally hi-fiving you (which auto-correct wants to change to "ho-giving", so here.....have a ho ) on last nights posts. And Bant also: very well put.
By nature I'm an optimist and a hopeless romantic and whilst OLD can give serious challenge to both those characteristics, they're part of who I am.

So I won't become disheartened or cynical when I get a message from someone who lists their fetishes by percentage from an online BDSM site.
(I did the test, too. Hilarious. I'm 14% "Brat". Didn't even know that was a thing)

Nipples approaching the process as a way of meeting new friends is very sensible. I'm pretty sure AR and I would be friends if there's no spark and we've already said as much.

Runny a lovely date is to be celebrated (and we need it for karmic balance as Far cracks on with her book ) and like PP I'm going to guess he's not put off, but if he is then.......yeah, not for you.

So I've got a load of Bumble likes to reject seriously consider so I don't put all my dating eggs in the AR basket. I'm now working on "no words, no likey" unless you're twinkly, silver foxy and hot which should expedite matters.

Replied to SexuallySuggestiveUsername on OKC. How long before he asks me to download Kik, I wonder......

LoveMusic excellent re Mr FB. If it were me I'd bin off Mr Normal as a time waster. Not exactly hot pursuit, is it? But then as well as optimistic and romantic, I'm extremely impatient

Thanks for the comments. Mr Gym was the one who wanted to meet DD, but has also said he doesn't want a serious relationship yet. I think he was just curious to meet her and also wanted to stay over last night. It was a bit awkward this morning as no-one knew what to say and I felt he left as quickly as possible.
But DD randomly said she thought he was a nice person and he could stay again. So it's good to know she wasn't bothered by him being there.

Runs it's good your DD was OK, how old is she? IME, kids don't seem to be an issue as it's so common to be a single parent now.

How do you tell if you're blocked by someone on POF?

I was out last night and it is not a great way to meet anyone! I danced with a guy who was off his rocker, didn't seem it but then announced "I love you" so I told him to go away

Agree about OLD being one of the few proactive ways of meeting ppl. I have just had a guy from my team at work appear on Bumble, he's also friends with the guy I matched with on Tinder and they go to my "local" although I've never seen them in there.

This morning's date has left me feeling a bit shit about myself.

The date itself was fine, but he was less attractive than his picture and l wasn't won over by his personality although he seemed ok. I certainly didn't feel the elusive "spark".

At the end of the date he told me that I should message him and he would wait to hear from me. I wasn't best pleased about that as I feel it was asking me to put myself on the line rather than him.

Anyway, I messaged him later politely saying that I had enjoyed meeting him but that I didn't see romance for us. He then replied very emphatically what a relief, yes he couldn't be more than friends and listed his coming dates with other people. Was that necessary? What was he planning on doing if I had said I wanted to see him again? Was he looking for an ego boost? Would he have enjoyed rejecting me?

Perhaps he actually did want another date and the response is due to hurt pride? I've no idea. Anyway, the response seemed unduly strong and has left me feeling unfanciable and fed up with the whole thing. It doesn't help that the other people that have shown an interest in me recently all seem to be prats as well.

pav he didn't need to say all that to you. I think he might have felt a bit hurt. Or he's just a bit odd and needs to tell you everything!

I am still without internet so posting from Costa.

I was at a gig on Friday and got chatted up ( huge massive gin). The audience was a salt-and-pepper of middle aged men (I am looking for a collective noun for middle age men but have stuck to nouns). So this nice man tried chatting to me but I kept thinking that he looked a lot like my boss and that it would be really really bad idea to end up dating someone who looked like my manager (who I work closely with) Was funny and an ego boost.

Pavonia - i had a similar experience and put it down to his bruised ego talking as I had rejected him. Don't read anything else into it cos it's futile, upsetting and almost certainly move on. Shake it off (as Taylor Swift would say) and move on. If it's not right, it's wrong xxx

Pavonia - almost certainly untrue

(Interrupted by child with hair issues)

biddy - the collective noun for middle aged men is a 'parliament'

Unless they're trying to recapture their lost youth and wearing too much denim and leather, in which case it's a 'clarkson'

Biddy, AppleBlossom thanks, I will try to forget about it and move on.

I'm struggling to find anyone I want to write to on OKCupid at the moment. I did get a message from someone new just now: "Beautiful Lady" - why do they do it?

Pav I think he was just hurt, otherwise why say all that?

Biddy

I do not understand any of it! I did see a picture of a man with a fish
Getting fed up of sending polite no replies to ppl and receiving arguments back. Starting to think it would be better to just ignore and delete messages from ppl that are a "no" regardless of the reason why. There was a guy who is the spitting image of Dean from Supernatural but he lives too far away. Pity as that was a definite "phoar" from me

Bant is there a collective noun for ageing music fans or does that fall into the 'clarkson' realm?

A 'click' of middle age male music fans? (who probably have every record on vinyl in 9 inch, 12 inch and then on Cd and maybe a few old tapes knocking around and can name band line ups across the decades and if they play an instrument will play the tunes of their favourite band to at you )

That was really unnecessary of him Pav and if that's how he behaves (rudely) then it's good you didn't really like him and had no spark. I reckon it's a front.

I'm talking to a new guy (iron) he's asked a question that really grates on me that I seem to get a lot "why are you single?" Maybe it's me being precious but I think it's quite rude! Not something I would ask anyway. I might be tempted to say "because I've just been released from prison after 10 years" one day ....!

Ruby thanks. I had the "why are you single?" question the other day, I think they usually mean it as a complement at least that's the way I took it. You should go with your reply! If it's a serious question then I think it is better asked after meeting and establishing a level of real interest on both sides.

It's meant as a compliment but it's a bit weak as an approach message!!

Ah I see! I didn't look at it from that view, I would be more inclined to ask about their dating/relationship history rather than directly ask that I suppose but I shall jump down from my high horse!

I'm going to make an effort of getting out a bit more over the summer to see if I can meet someone that way too - although I know so many people who are in ltr or married from meeting their partners through OLD so I'm not giving up just yet.

How long do you give Online Dating before you throw the towel in? For those that do Tinder what do you set your distance too? I find POF crap! I have an even smaller dating pool to choose from so makes it even more depressing 😭

I don't think you can put a time limit on it. I've been considering binning it all off but I'll hang in there. What's to say someone awesome won't turn up tomorrow? Or next week or next month? That's the hope that keeps me trying.

It was a beautiful day today and I drove around the coast in my new roadster loving it but would have loved someone with me. That keeps me hanging in there too.

Ruby Yes I think it's meant as a compliment but I don't like it as an opening message.

Both of the dates I went on said their ex had cheated on them, hence the break up. Is it so common? My FB broke up with his ex bcs she cheated on him. I didn't ask why they broke up with their exes BTW they brought it up!

Country I'm fairly new at OLD so can't comment on time, but you can always take a break from it. My distance on Tinder is 11 miles but I still check the distance on each profile I view. I'm not finding POF great either, have just started talking to a guy on there, yay someone finally replied when I initiated the conversation!

The thing I I don't like about Tinder is you have to have Facebook and I absolutely detest Facebook. I think a lot of it comes down to location whether your successful or not perhaps?

Yes that's true infosec21 have to keep positive but easier said than done at times.

I always take any reason given for a break up with a pinch of salt. They could say anything.

As for "why are you single?" my stock answer is "just lucky I guess".

Country I set up a fake FB profile for Tinder but it gets your name from the FB profile so don't use a fake name!

Out

Lol that's what I'll probably do then. I might try Bumble too.