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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Swinging Into Sobriety!

999 replies

Mouseface · 19/04/2017 00:57

Hello there,

I'm Mouse, one of the Brave Babes travelling far and wide, stopping off here and there to collect lovely folk, just like you, for a natter all about booze and the blues that come with being a drinker of whatever quantity.

We don't wear or sell judgey pants here, although a G-string or two (Oooh Matron!) has been known to sort the fan belt out on the Bus as we've been driving for such a long time now!! Grin

In short, we've regular posters here, lurkers, those who have managed to keep their drinking to 'social' occasions, some who are really struggling on an hourly basis and some who are completely dry!

Whatever your drinking 'status', you're welcome here in the new bigger Battle Bus, (as requested) whilst we head far and wide, listening to one another, as we face each day that comes our way, whether it be good, bad or downright ugly, we really have seen it all and don't mind one bit. Lurk or chat, it's up to you but one thing you will always find, is a warm welcome, Opal Fruit wrappers (Looks at Ma bosom push up! ) and of course, in complete confidentiality. Smile

So, if you'd like to look what happened on the last thread (a bit like catch up TV) you can look at this link which will take you there - JUST HERE

And, if you would like to see where we started driving this wonderful Bus, over seven years ago, you can have a look at this very honest thread - RIGHT HERE

Hope to see you soon,

Mouse xx

OP posts:
Thread gallery
49
venusandmars · 19/04/2017 06:58

Brilliant opening post mouse lovely to see you back in action. Keep well my lovely.

venusandmars · 19/04/2017 07:00

Brilliant opening post mouse lovely to see you back in action. Keep well my friend x

dementedma · 19/04/2017 08:12

mouse is BACK!!! And I got a mention in the opening post!
Gets Barrie to bag a seat and heads back to old thread.

AbetterME2017 · 19/04/2017 08:40

Good morning.
So, still trying to get to grips of this bus, is this a new bus stop then? Do i have to get off? I rather like sitting next to Barrie and cathing the odd sweet when its chucked our way!

UnwiseOldElf · 19/04/2017 09:55

Awesome intro, thanks, Mouse! Grin And get you, ma!

Can I have an Opal Fruit please? (and I also must admit a fondness for fizzy Haribo too ... rustles bag)

Feeling a bit cheerier today. Just one day at a time, right?

dementedma · 19/04/2017 15:09

better just sit tight. We have to fill up the old thread so no babes get left behind and don't know where to find us.
We will all migrate over here soon.

Flowerydems · 19/04/2017 18:36

Mouse that was brilliant, I'm in the sidecar tonight, physically And emotionally exhausted. Wine is a stupid idea but here we are. Square 1 again tomorrow.

If there's any opal fruits left by the time I hop on from the sidecar can you keep me a red one Grin

LuxuryWoman2017 · 19/04/2017 18:45

Well hello everyone!
Hope everyone who needs us finds us. I am exhausted, honestly, I had no idea how filthy my clean and tidy house was until I started pulling things out and looking behind - grim.

Start again Flora we all have those days. Hope you feel brighter soon.
Good to hear you are a bit brighter today Elf It's easy to think that quitting booze will automatically make life amazing. Well, it certainly has massive benefits but I guess it's a bit like dieting - we feel life would be perfect if only we lost a stone and that's just not true. However the benefits are huge and worthwhile, so lets keep going.

I know some are struggling at the moment, do your best, keep busy, keep the goal in mind and remember you will not regret staying off the wine tonight. Also, keep hydrated, being thirsty is a killer for setting off cravings, this is the thing that has helped me the most tbh.

Have a good evening all, I need to slather on the handcream, my mitts are cracked, red and sore, not a very luxury look!

babyjane1 · 19/04/2017 19:08

Hi beautiful peeps,
Although I'm not posting I'm reading every day, still sober and still learning how to navigate life, although I have absolutely no regrets about giving up drinking and I've lost 2 and a half stones I'm still searching for the elusive state of "happy", life is so messy and hard I still struggle to enjoy it, some people just get on with it and some like me just blunder around trying to make sense of it and never really "getting it" I guess that's what led me to a nervous breakdown and complete alcohol dependency, being unconscious seemed easier than living and I selfishly thought it'd be better off for everyone if I was unconscious most of the time, I couldn't kill myself cos that would hurt the people I love too much, as if what I was doing wasn't!!!!

So now I look like a normal healthy person, sound like one and I act like one but still underneath it all im just acting hoping rl happiness will magically occur. That said every single part of my life has gotten better and easier and OMG so less complicated and everyone who loves me is so happy and relieved that I'm where I am today. I'm still a work in progress I guess...

I still truly believe that you guys that know me probably understand these feelings better thank anyone as they are probably the same ones that led you to finding solace in a bottle(s) of wine and then here to try and find some answers.

What is most definitely here is a warmth, understanding and truly magical sense that we are safe and valued and understood and that my lovelies is a very very good place to start!!!

Love to all xxx

madein1995 · 19/04/2017 21:13

Hello, hope everyone is ok, sending you hugs mouse and flowery
Busy at work and so bed at an early time, odd for me. Been to a synergy class which was great but tiring. Am doing OK, feeling quite positive. I'll try and post more tomorrow evening

LuxuryWoman2017 · 19/04/2017 21:37

Sorry Flowerey not flora Blush

grumpysquash3 · 19/04/2017 22:12

Hi everyone, just popped in to mark my place.
Happy Wednesday :)

AbetterME2017 · 19/04/2017 22:16

Hi just popping in to let you all know i am at a family meal and have resisted all offers of wine - not even tempted tonight. Feeling positive. So tired so iff to bed soon.

OkPedro · 19/04/2017 23:03

Hi made flowery lux grumpy
better
I'll get the hang of NC eventually 😂

better Bloody well knew you could do it! (Fist bump) Hope you sleep well.

babyJane loved your post. I hope to be where you are some day soon..

AF tonight.. feeling positive but dreading going to bed. Seems my body has gotten used to wine induced sleep so now I lay awake for hours 😡 Still at least I won't be hungover tomorrow

dementedma · 19/04/2017 23:06

baby! So good to hear from you. You are an inspiration to us all.

Rubyredlips · 19/04/2017 23:44

Hi. I'm here. I'm reading but not got much else to say.

Todayisanewday75 · 20/04/2017 07:30

How did you sleep pedro? I was af yesterday too, had the insomnia too but weirdly feeling tired this morning is better than feeling hungover and guilty. Going to be af again tonight, I know the longer I do the better the sleep will get.

TooLateAlready · 20/04/2017 08:30

Pathetically I have name changed for this! I think I am hiding from myself, with the name change Blush Am I in the right place? I have found myself in a totally unexpected situation and booze is becoming an issue. I am not sure how to get a handle on it. I have AF days and I am trying to increase them, but it's much tougher than I want it to be. I am away from my children (not through court or SS or anything but splitting from a controlling ex - who has managed to convince them that they should not see them as 'I left'). It is horrendous and quite unbelievable given that I was a proper devoted mum. It's been over a year now.

Anyway, I live with my new dp. We are reunited after many years apart which is great, but he is a habitual drinker and I have fallen into his lifestyle. Now I find myself in an emotionally hard situation, with a habitual drinker, no dc really and so time on my hands too, and the drink takes the edge off and gives me a social life. I need to keep myself together because my dd periodically comes back to me, I need to be able to provide financially for them in the future, and also for my own health and sanity. I have just started ADs and I know they do not work so well with alcohol. Basically I need to find a way to fill my life up positively while I try to get my family back. Sounds easy right? I want to have a drink at the weekend just one night a week, so I am here for inspiration and a bit of help if that's ok...

TooLateAlready · 20/04/2017 08:32

And I bloody hate that nn because I need to be positive about the future so I will probably change it soon Smile

theansweris42 · 20/04/2017 08:34

Morning to all.
So many new babes. Wishing everyone strength and perspective.
I am in and out of the sidecar, but not too bad Brew

TooLateAlready · 20/04/2017 08:35

And I have just read back my post and I feel very sad and how things have turned out....bugger...sorry for being a downer people.

LuxuryWoman2017 · 20/04/2017 09:03

TooLate welcome, you are in the right place and I'm sorry things are so crap for you. It is so easy to slide into drinking habits, we think it helps to numb us, but really, it drags us down so much further, it really is a depressant but we don't see it until we quit. I wish you strength and hope you find this thread as supportive as I have.

better you rock, well done, lovely to see you 42 .

Those who are having problems sleeping, yes I did too, it does settle down I promise, it takes a while for your body clock to readjust after all the years of fitful wine fuelled passing out.

Baby always lovely to see hear and read your inspiring words.

Morning everyone else, I'll catch up with the rest of you later.

UnwiseOldElf · 20/04/2017 10:03

Hello, TooLate. And it isn't. It never is. You are in the right place as Lux says. We all get it. The alcohol "solution" and spiral... and then trying to find alternatives. I can't imagine how difficult it must be to be separated from your children. You will find inspiration, support, and understanding here, as you work your way through this and back to them.

I've had a teeny epiphany today. I was feeling rubbish the past few days and couldn't work out why I was so angry and "woe is me" etc etc. Instead of self-medicating with alcohol though I sat it out. Will keep this brief but I have an unidentified autoimmune disorder that causes me a lot of pain from time to time - which no one has been able to figure out. I'm in pain at the moment and have been for a couple of weeks now. I was feeling very hopeless because of it.

So I went to the GP today. That might not sound revelatory, but after the YEARS of being fobbed off and not getting anywhere this is quite big for me, to bother to go back and insist on being listened to. And I asked to be referred back to a specialist I saw privately in desperation last year (before my work insurance refused to pay for any more appointments as they only pay for acute problems). AND SHE SAID YES!!

This is huge for me. Which probably explains at least some of my problems with alcohol. Asking for help. Being persistent. Believing that I deserve better than chronic pain and no explanation.

So I'm sore but quite emotional - in a good way Grin. I feel quite brave.

Flowerydems · 20/04/2017 11:23

Aw elf that's great news, least it sounds like you'll get somewhere now.

Lux I'm currently using your keep busy advice doing a big clean, the house is a lot bigger than the flat that's for sure.

Baby I loved your post, really helps knowing we're all in the same boat

Me go you!!

Toolate you can do this, I'm on a wobble just now but now you've acknowledged the problem it does get easier.

Hey to everyone else aswell. I'm trying to keep myself hydrated all day today to stop me being Thursday tonight, I fell asleep watching telly after a glass of wine last night, poured the second I was going to have away and went to bed. I don't think that's something I'd ever done before so feel so good today. Boys are at school and nursery so lady muck is keeping me busy with an upset tummy. Think we'll go a walk soon.

Tatty bye from the sidecar babes

Taleofcaution · 20/04/2017 12:57

I've namechanged for this - too many family know my usual name and I don't want them to know all this stuff.

I've posted on and off over the last couple of years in my other name. I've sometimes cut down my drinking even stopped for a whole month once. But I know that having a couple of af days each week isn't enough. I know I drink way too much.

I've avoided going to the gp for ages, a bit scared about my health and really didnt want anything about alcohol on my heath records (work in a linked area). But a few weeks ago a routine appointment required my blood pressure to get measured Sad

So here I am, late 40s, slightly overweight (but not massively) with a full tick list of alcohol related problems: diabetes, high cholesterol, liver enzymes all raised, cardiomyopathy (enlarged heart) and blood pressure which was 200/125 which they are struggling to get under control.

I thought that because I could take time off drinking I was ok. I thought that because I didn't have the shakes I was ok. I thought that because I didn't drink when I got up and that I held down a good job that I was ok. I was fooling myself Sad

I've been poisoning myself for years and my body doesn't like it. And now there's no hiding from my medical records.

Please, if any of you think you're getting away with it, maybe check if you are, and maybe do something about it earlier than I did.

I'm lucky that my liver isn't irreparably damaged (probably) but my doc says I'm a ticking time-bomb at massive risk of a heart attack or stroke. I've had nothing to drink for 5 weeks but its going to take a long time to sort out the health consequences.

Sorry for the self absorbed post.