The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Swinging Into Sobriety!

[Mouseface]

Hello there,

I'm Mouse, one of the Brave Babes travelling far and wide, stopping off here and there to collect lovely folk, just like you, for a natter all about booze and the blues that come with being a drinker of whatever quantity.

We don't wear or sell judgey pants here, although a G-string or two (Oooh Matron!) has been known to sort the fan belt out on the Bus as we've been driving for such a long time now!!

In short, we've regular posters here, lurkers, those who have managed to keep their drinking to 'social' occasions, some who are really struggling on an hourly basis and some who are completely dry!

Whatever your drinking 'status', you're welcome here in the new bigger Battle Bus, (as requested) whilst we head far and wide, listening to one another, as we face each day that comes our way, whether it be good, bad or downright ugly, we really have seen it all and don't mind one bit. Lurk or chat, it's up to you but one thing you will always find, is a warm welcome, Opal Fruit wrappers (Looks at Ma bosom push up! ) and of course, in complete confidentiality.

So, if you'd like to look what happened on the last thread (a bit like catch up TV) you can look at this link which will take you there - JUST HERE

And, if you would like to see where we started driving this wonderful Bus, over seven years ago, you can have a look at this very honest thread - RIGHT HERE

Hope to see you soon,

Mouse xx

Waves weakly at made
I suspect it's not a cold but flu. I hurt all over and can't stop shivering but have a lovely sweaty temperature.
In bed with lots of water and codeine watching The Following on Prime.

Ahh now made, sometimes a night in watching crap telly is as good as a mini break! x

I've dodged the call out bullet tonight it seems and I will be settling down to Line of Duty and Grantchester.

Bairn and I had a roast dinner, I am still AF, and the grass has been mown.

mint keep cosy and rest up, hopefully it won't knock you flat for too long. What a misery for you though. Get well soon, x

beaches missed you quine, lovely to see you! Bloody well done on day 37!! xx

ma gorgeous blossom, blossom! Arsetits that you didn't get your frock, bloody hate when the big bidders head in for the kill. Have you been up to anything beachcomby today? It was bonny here today, but I was working earlier and then I shoehorned in a quick walk with the terrorist. Couldn't go anywhere great due to mobile signal but fresh air did me good.

I am away to have a drink of what could be a taste sensation. Qcumber. Cucumber blended with sparkling water. There were a few bottles reduced to 40p. It may well be repeating on me all night. Plenty of ice and a dash of bitter lemon and I can dream its a Hendricks. I'm just sitting out in the garden dreaming of what might have been. The only things which survived the savage pruning of a fed up Labrador are the Rowan, the smoke bush and my dog rose.

We don't even have dandelions to brighten things up because she eats them. Will be planting a ton of nasturtiums soon, at least if she eats them it won't hurt her. I tried shrubs with thorns. She viewed them as a personal challenge.

Hi Mouse and fellow babes.

I was doing so well - had really cut down on my drinking.

Last night, I got completely hammered - I remember very little but apparently tried to take some of my clothes off in a bar 😳

My marriage isn't very fulfilling (no sex) and I think that is what I like to "escape" from.

I love my husband v much and I'm terribly worried as his mum is currently v ill in hospital 😥

It's all such a mess...

Need to control my drinking 😞

Absolutely brilliant Elba really proud of you.
Morning all. Another day
I'm still AF days then not. Moderate. But it's still more than I'd like.
AF today

Very well done, Elba - fantastic achievement! I can't even begin to imagine taking on the London Marathon. Fabulous!

Pawsbutton are you ok this morning? You posted in the wee small hours - things always seem so so much worse then. As for the clothes in a bar - I am sure all of us here can think of equal or more embarrassing things that we've done under the influence too. (I keep threatening to start a blog to get some of this stuff out there and off my chest and I might just do it...) Alcohol is a very powerful mind-altering drug (which is why I LOVED it). But I have peace since I quit, which is worth more than anything - as it creates a safe foundation for everything else.

Do you know what the trigger was for the other night? Could it be you finally snapped after being in control so long - thought "F* it!"? Have you considered quitting entirely for a bit, to give your brain a rest from the internal debates about "I'll only drink three nights a week... I'll only drink wine... I won't drink wine, just beer... I won't drink on my own... I drank last night so I mustn't tonight..." yadda yadda yadda. It's exhausting.

Sorry to ramble on but I really feel for you. I've so been there.

Elba
Well done you! What an amazing achievement!
Did you spot anyone famous on the way round?
How are your legs today?
I'm still all welled up from watching the Welsh guy who stopped to help the guy from Chorlton when his legs had gone to jelly. What great sportsmanship.

Dubh
Qcumber sounds just like something that would be invented on The Apprentice. Interested to see if it's nice.

Waves to all :)

Hi Unwise - thank you so much...

I barely slept last night as my dear MIL is v ill in hospital and we were waiting for "the call" which, thank god, never came.

TBH, I think worrying about her was the trigger...

I did kind of think F it, tbh... I was definitely in the mood to get smashed. I don't remember a thing - all of my antics have been related to me by my friend

Congratulations ELBA! Wow what a feat! I had a bit of a rubbish weekend and fell off the wagon with a crash on Sat. I drank some wine last night and could feel better this morning. I am really enjoying not drinking. I guess I kind of challenge myself to see if it is true that wine really doesn't like me. I should know that by now. It doesn't. It is a tough nut to crack, and I am having to turn all my upbringing on its head. What was normal for me just wasn't normal, and it's a big thing to see my parents, especially my father as mostly hungover, or behaving as Mr Cheerful fuelled by booze.

Really sorry to hear about your MIL, paws. It sounds like you have a close relationship, which is lovely, but must make this all the more difficult for you. No wonder you're finding it difficult to sleep, and wanted to blow off steam.

Just my four penn'orth - but anxiety-alcohol-insomnia-anxiety is a rollercoaster I know only too well. It spirals down on itself. If you could manage one early(ish) night with a cup of Ovaltine (or something equally edgy and glamorous ) the sleep might help you feel a bit stronger to cope with whatever the day throws at you. Also maybe think about what goes in between being "controlled" and "blowout". Is there anything you could do to let off steam that wouldn't involve embarrassment the next day? (And I'm a bit about your friend. I hope he/she realises you're mortified and stops relaying your "antics" to you...)

*EasyToEatTiger, cool that you're enjoying not drinking apart from the crash on Saturday. My parents drank heavily too, and so I became desensitised to abnormal drinking. I'm not blaming them for my alcohol issues, but I do know I grew up thinking alcohol was some kind of magic elixir...

I had some SERIOUS cravings last week. HRT-induced PMT combined with coming off my antidepressants (long story but basically all v positive and going in right direction etc) and I WANTED SOME GIN AND I WANTED IT NOW. pout

Didn't buy any though and now it's passed. But a bit of a shocker and a reminder not to get complacent any time soon.

Pawsbutton
We've all done stupid things under the influence. I know only too well the fear in the morning. It's not surprising though since you are obviously stressed about your MIL. Try not to dwell on it. If it makes you feel better I once got on the bar to show some random bloke my piercings and I'm not talking ears .😳

Paws like others have said, I think everyone here has done things they regret under the influence. Try not to beat yourself up too much- id imagine the stress with your MIL was certainly a trigger, and I'm sure your friends will recognise that.

Mint hope you are feeling a bit better today.

I'm (predictably) extremely sore today! Been up since 9 and now fighting the urge to go back to bed for a nap. Thanks so much for all the lovely posts, feeling very loved and supported both on here and in real life.

Yesterday was totally amazing, although I absolutely hated some bits of it. The crowds are truly fab, from the residents of poplar standing outside their doors with jelly babies to the huge crowds and noise over Tower Bridge. Loads of people shouting your name is a surreal experience, but when things are getting tough it really spurs you on. Certainly wouldn't of done 26 miles without them. Had a bit of a wobble and burst into tears at 21 miles and suddenly had everyone shouting my name and holding out hands for a high five. Would usually hate that sort of attention and wasn't going to put my name on my shirt until a friend convinced me but now so glad I did. It was an amazing atmosphere and very emotional.

Didn't spot any celebrities but loved seeing the people dressed up. Got overtaken by a Womble at mile three, overtook Jesus at mile 25 and did an impromptu sprint finish to avoid being overtaken by a rhino. There's a sentence I never thought I'd write .

The whole thing has taken up a lot of physical and mental energy over the last few months, and although I was hating it by the end I already feel a bit like there's something missing now. It also helped to some extent to moderate my drinking, and now that incentive has gone I need to be a bit mindful. Last week I was AF all but one day, ate well, had early nights and kept hydrated. I felt physically better than I have for ages at the start of the marathon (not so much at the end) but it makes me wonder why, if I can do that for a run, I can't carry it over into normal life. Lots to think about.

you overtook Jesus????
Wow! Seriously impressive stuff!

Jesus running the London Marathon

Have googled him...apparently he's from a Japanese rock band. If my feet hurt today I've no idea how he's feeling running without shoes!

Elba, am so proud and impressed!!! You are one amazing babe.

Thanks all so much - Mint, you have all my sympathy and empathy! A friend of mine did the same when pissed. My highlight, other than the attempted striptease, was attempting to drink whisky out of the sole of my bare foot and trying to punch my friend when he tried to stop me... it would be funny but it really isn't.

My MIL has gone downhill and has been given hours or days to live. It's terribly sad. I visited her today in hospital and it was appalling to see her delirious and so dreadfully ill. I am so, so glad I went to see her.

Thanks again..

paws sorry to hear about your MIL. It's so tough to be alongside someone at the end of their life but you are doing a great thing by being there. I hope she has some peace soon.

elba you are a STAR

Hang on in there paws, you can and you will get through this. So you cut loose the other day, it's in the past. There are only tomorrows going forward, remember that.

We've been there, some of us ain't finished visiting, but you need to be stronger than ever before and resist that WW and her hall of mirrors. We see the true drunken us in there, the distorted us, the ugly us, the grinning maniacally us, the out of focus us, the scary faced us, the naked us. It ain't pretty. But it all stops when you step out into the sunshine.

I am so sorry to hear about your mil, we will all be here as a sounding board, rail at us, vent, cry, be YOU, warts and all. I feel your stress through your posts, and beg you to rustle up every last ounce of courage. It's hard to watch someone you care about in distress, but know that your presence will bring them comfort.

If I know nowt else, I know that. xxx

Now then elba, what a day for you! I bet it felt like no feeling on earth being encouraged over that finish line, everyone shouting and willing you on.

So chuffed and proud for you, what an achievement!

And you saw a Womble. I used to love the Wombles. xx

Haven't posted for a bit so not up to speed with everyone yet.

Certainly not up to your speed Elba

Massive congratulations, what a wonderful achievement and great memory to cherish and be proud of your whole life.

What about this though - Last week I was AF all but one day, ate well, had early nights and kept hydrated

That is also a huge achievement! Remember when you first joined the bus and didn't think you could do one day? Look at you now! So proud of you.

Is there such as thing as a 'crash' after all that effort and energy? (You can tell I'm no runner, I don't have clue). If there is, be prepared for it and keep posting here for support.

Big wave to everyone x

Hey babes. Wanted to check in, haven't posted for a couple of weeks, but have been reading and taking inspiration from you incredible lot. Haven't been doing brilliantly, but better than before. Having a few AF days each week and mostly drinking more mindfully and less (with just a couple of very bad nights). It's still an improvement though.

Just read a line by Bryony Gordon about herself and her drinking that resonated hugely with me, which I wanted to share with you:

"... the one who literally gets out of her head to escape all the rubbish in it."

This.

I can recognise now that I drink to block out total emotional disaster and grief. And also that drinking makes it worse, and harder to cope with everything. It's crazy, isn't it?

Would love to hear any thoughts on this... I get to a couple of days in a row AF and then the need to block everything out again takes over. I so want to get past this.

Hi all
Down to two glasses a night but still not AF. Well done to those who are.

broken mindful is good! Improvement is good!

"... the one who literally gets out of her head to escape all the rubbish in it." I love that line, it made me think. A lot. My head gets so full of every emotion during the day. Sometimes I'm strong, sometimes I feel myself being sucked into a dark whirlpool.

I have no magic answers, if I didn't have work I would not be able to stop the tide.

I tell my dog everything. Sometimes just saying what I feel out loud helps. I watch Steel Magnolias, just for a cry. Sometimes that physical release helps. I go down to the river. I sing, I bitch about whoever/whatever I need to bitch about, I have even been known to scream into the wind. If those fail I bring out the big guns.

This is going to sound weird but some of the travellers already know about this one. I epilate. Nowt like ripping hairs out of your undercarriage to give you summat else to focus on.

Tonight? I've just brushed my teeth. I have a face mask on. It's snowing so I am wrapped tightly in an old duvet on the sofa with my hairy friend.

Keep posting broken, get it out. It will help. xx

Evening there ma, I repeat. Improvement is good!.

What's it like down with you?

I went for a walk at lunchtime, sleet, snow, hail and a howling wind put paid to a lot of the pretty blossom round work. I hope your wee tree is sheltered so that you may enjoy it's beauty for a wee while longer, xx