Dating Thread 116 - come join us!

[InfoSec21]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.

Date with Mr Bike went well and he wants to meet again. He is cute, friendly and an animal lover, but has had no long term relationships and no DCs. I share your thoughts Pav as I don't know how he will understand what my responsibilities are. I will meet again as a I'd like to look into his attractive eyes again so shallow! .

I got there early and grabbed a drink and cake before he could buy them for me. I feel awkward with protocol of first dates so usually try to do that if I can.

Polar, how was the Naval Officer?

Lana Mr Bike sounds worth meeting again and if his lifestyle is compatible with yours the generalisations won't apply.

Regarding arriving early and buying your own drink, I have done that before. It is especially good if you think you will only be staying for one.

Talking of men in uniform, has anyone else noticed that firemen always seem to have a picture of themselves in their uniform as their profile pic?!

Ha Pav I have a fire station close to me and the firemen fancy themselves so much ( although a couple are gorgeous and a pleasure to pass by every day)

Date this morning was great. He can chat for England too and that was the only downside in that it was a little much sometimes. He is mega extrovert. And attractiveness was variable ie one moment thought oh yes and next not so sure. But so much fun. Laughed a lot. Loads in common. he has already texted me just for fun not saying anything about another date. I think there will be one. Also a guy who had underestimated his height which was refreshing.

And from way back request re scammers on OKC. What I avoid is guys with one photo often an American classic clean cut one who answer about 20 questions and just say inane boring stuff about how they are so good to a woman. And often say they are religious too.And a lot used to say they were a widower but less these days. But now some of them are nicking several photos often of American military guys so have more than one photo. And there has been one guy who keeps using three good looking photos says he works in finance but when he chats to you he doesnt know enough about finance and just says boring impersonal stuff when chatting. Yawn.

I keep seeing a certain phrase on PIG and it's so awful, why do people use it!! It sounds so cheap and chavtastic!! If anyone here says this on your PIG profile, take it straight off! The awful phrase is:

'Looking for a knight in shining armour, not a twat in tin foil'.

Vile!!

Info that makes me want to vomit. I will not be using it.

I have never, do not and will never need rescuing.

On the opposite end I'm sick of:

"Women have messed me about. I'm so messed-up. Will you prove them wrong?"

My thought...grow up!

why do people do that! I don't have anything except my interests/what I like to do. That's what I prefer to see in others profiles, so you know you have something in common with them. "Just ask" means I don't bother!

Also, why be negative?

Info things like that make me laugh. Men have few regular phrases too that have me rolling my eyes none as bad as 'just ask' 😂

Pav I've noticed that too but quite like it. I hold my hands up I like the uniform, shallow I know 🙈

Well mr ideal date has been away over a week now and we've text a bit but not too much and arranged a date for the night after he's back. He phoned me other night and told me he's traveling back that day now so will be home in time for our date but it's a 5 hour drive so I'm setting myself up for a cancel from him.
I hate this bit as I've had a few cancel 2nd dates so now think this is going to happen with them all. I hope not but keeping busy with other irons, well trying. PIG has gone quite for me this week but had a few matches on tinder

Minop after a 5 hour trip it may be a hard second date so if postponed it could be ok? Or, you can assess what he's like when tired so useful to know?

minop oh yes I usually click on the firemen! Sadly they're not usually my type.

My date from Sunday has finally got back to me and does seem to want to meet up again. It would be nice if he appeared a bit more enthusiastic. Guys, if you liked a woman would you ever wait two days after a first date to message?

Went out for lunch with texty-flirty-long-time-mate today! This is going to sound super cliched but I am a fully grown adult and yet I still can't stop feeling like a woozy teen head over heels with her first crush. Wanted to tell everybody I know obviously but that's not possible so here I am!

Info I see similar phrases from men too, make me cringe, hate 'looking for my princess' .

I hate the 'just ask', I need to know a bit about someone to know if I want to chat to them or not. There's no need for a huge profile but a few lines about yourself is fine.

I offered to postpone but he was incessant he'd be back and really looking forward to it. It's hard as he's not much of a texter, never has been, he always replies quick, just can't hold a conversation but on the phone he's great so trying not to read too much into it and just go with the flow.

tomayto That sounds great, but did you say you'd v.v. recently come out of a LTR?

Calmmmmm Downnnnn.......Deep breaths. Chillllll........

I was messaging someone the other day, she lives quite far away but looked nice. Took her three days to reply to a message with an answer just about her and didn't even bolt on a question to try and get the flow going again. BIN.

TomaytoTomahto

minop good in a way that he doesn't want to postpone. Some people just aren't great with messages. I work from home a lot so use IM all the time. Although, we do that when everyone is in the office
I hate talking on the phone but have to do conference calls a lot for work, so I much prefer messaging for personal stuff.

Good idea to bin info- too much like hard work.

I took a break from OLD after Mr Vibrator but have been lurking and following the thread.

I was messaging a new iron- Mr Medic. Six years younger than me and I'm not sure I fancy him based on his sole photo but we seem to have things in common and he lives relatively nearby. We had a very vague plan to meet for coffee this Friday. However he never replied to my last message on Saturday. I could see he'd been on and off the site loads Sunday and yesterday so concluded he wasn't interested for whatever reason and that was that. I saw he'd viewed my profile yesterday afternoon and tonight I get a 'hey there, how are you' message.

I'm really not sure whether to respond? I'd kind of written him off and had in my head to go shopping on Friday instead. It's not so much the silence for 3 days ( although I do prefer more messaging)- I can appreciate people are busy, more that he was very active on the site during that time! But part of me thinks maybe I'm just being grumpy and should give people a chance.

What would you do?

I fear my thoughts are clouded by the fact I've been OLDing since last July and have had very few irons.

Clawdeen I wouldn't bother with him, but maybe other people can think of genuine reasons for his delay? Shopping sounds like a better plan to me!

Definitely shopping 😊

Nah I'd bin him off clawdeen go shopping instead

Thank you both! Sometimes I think perhaps I need to make more effort with dating but having sat through numerous bad dates, I think I should work on my pre-date filters!

Looks like shopping it is!

stubbornstains I know, I know. Had an hour of yoga so I'm calmer now. Went for dinner with a colleague too who was wondering what was up with me as I "don't seem my usual frostbite inflicting self". Managed to brush it off though so thank goodness!

I don't mind a bit of a gap and I ignore seeing them online as it can just be quickly opening the app and it shows you online.

But, the 'hey there how are you' would annoy me. I've got one at the moment, nothing for two days then 'how was your day' - well, really, not relevant is it? I know nothing about you because you only ever send brief questions which I answer but you never answer the ones I send you, and you don't really want to know about my day (I wrote a H&S induction and prepared the salary review spreadsheet, I did a review of the cleaning contractors, then I had my psychotherapy session and because I knew I didn't have any food at home ate a ham baguette on the train which was mainly stale....see, you didn't want to know, did you?)......

Sigh.

Biddy I didn't get the candlestickmaker but I have a date with Mr SciFi for tomorrow and he probably likes candles, can that count please?

Three dates in three days. Never done that before. I've stuck with my plan to try to get initial meetings set up quickly to see if that helps as else I restrict things down too quickly.

Today was good on looks but banter with date for tomorrow has been easier. Number three is quite quiet. If he goes quieter date 3 won't happen - Claw my backup plan will then be shopping

outto I like your day - I think you should save that as a cut and paste in case anyone asks. Handle all enquiries like the civil service with a set of standard paragraphs !

LanaD Mr Scifi - Treky? Dr Who fan? See if you like the wrong scifi it can all go tits up. ( I think you need to take a piece of modelling clay on your date, make him make a candle holder and then post a pic and you have covered the candlestick maker!)